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Gym guy - Can he be interested/attracted?


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I started consistently going to the gym 2 months ago to be more serious about really trying to achieve a healthy lifestyle. Midway during the first month l noticed this guy who seemed to be a regular there too, but thought nothing of it since he wasn't my usual type (super buff instead of lean and cut). Anyway, l started to feel as if he had noticed me. He would always make these quick peeks/glances towards me that l would catch in the corner of my eye. I would avoid making eye contact whenever he did this because l didn't want it to be awkward. One time he was sitting on a bench, back towards me while l was stretching on the mat on the other side of the room. I was gazing in his direction partly bc l was resting and bc my curiosity got the better of me and l could check him out w/o him noticing. When he suddenly turned around (while still seated) and stared at me. I just stared back bc it didn't register in my head he had seen me and l was trying to see what his eyes were like lol. I quickly looked away. So moving on, it then progressed into what seemed like 'planting' himself in my line of vision or walking by me. One time it was pretty obvious bc he could have walked the shorter way to get to the water fountain but chose to go the longer route to walk past me.


Now it seems as though he knows my routine and seems like hes covertly following me by being in areas he doesn't usually do (well from all the times I've observed him). An example would be when l was doing cardio and he came into the room with his friend (and I'm pretty sure he doesn't do cardio!) He was barely getting started when l cut my cardio shorter than usual to lift weights. After 5 minutes or so, him and his buddy showed up in the weights section and proceeded to lift right beside (but behind) me! I was feeling a bit uncomfortable bc it seemed like everytime he stepped back and "watched" his friend, he clearly had a good view of me trying to figure out what the hell it is that I'm doing lol. Also, when him and his friend are working out and his friend would walk by me to grab weights or whatever, l noticed he would always have this little smirk on his face.


After some time, they left and l eventually went to grab my stuff for one of the classes l do (which is upstairs). Make my way upstairs and l see him and his buddy walking towards me to go downstairs. Immediately, gym guy turns and looks or starts talking to his friend. I decided I'm going to be ballsy and look him right in the face the entire time (hes still looking at his friend). As I'm about to pass him, he very deliberately turns his head and looks me right in the face. I guess he wasn't expected me to be looking at him bc he definitely looked startled!!! Lol. I def felt awkward but kind of glad that he knows l got the cojones to look at him in more appropriate contexts (instead of when hes lifting and his muscles are clearly popping out everywhere). He hasn't been to the gym for a week which seems pretty unusual for him so l don't know if l scared/intimidated the crap outta him or what lol.


So here are my questions:

1. Is this guy interested/attracted to me? And if so, what are the chances he'll approach me?

2. Did l completely scare him off after that intentional eye contact?

3. Is he shy? It seemed like he was nervous when he saw me coming his way, or when l sometimes look in his direction he'll most likely look elsewhere. But he has no problems working out close to/near me it seems.



I'm on the fence whether or not l want him to approach me or if l should approach him bc:

1. I'm currently dating this guy (not official yet) and am still interested to see where it goes. Btw, this guy has come with me to the gym on a few occasions so guy gym has seen me with him a couple of times.

2. I'm pretty certain hes a lot younger than me. I don't look my age at all (blessing) but l can tell hes young.


I'm growing more attracted to him and he's becoming a major distraction to my workouts lol. Thanks for all your input!

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You've not spent much time in gyms in your life, have you?... I think you are way overthinking/over-complicating the situation. The way I took it; the guy is just there to work out. He's not following you around. Sounds to me like him and his buddy just went there to workout, it happens quite often people end up near/using the same equipment, machines, and etc. Yeah, people glance at each other on occasion, so what?


The gym is a place they say is "fair game" for finding someone. It's perfectly reasonable to talk to/approach someone in a gym. That being said, I would leave this guy alone for the reasons you listed, you are dating someone already and he seems way too young for you. Also your opening statement...

I started consistently going to the gym 2 months ago to be more serious about really trying to achieve a healthy lifestyle.


You said you are going to the gym because you are serious and want a healthy lifestyle. Going there to ogle and play games with guys isn't being serious about going to the gym. If he distracts you, go there at a different time.

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Fair enough and you're absolutely right about gym equipment and the random glancing. I'm just saying it feels different bc l could sense some kind of attraction there. I definitely had no intention of oggling/playing games with guys at the gym, this just sort of happened. Unfortunately, changing gym times isn't that practical for me bc l like to go for the classes. Maybe this attraction will die out hopefully sooner than later lol. Anyway, thanks for your reply!

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I would advice against dating guys from the same gym. It's like dating someone from your work: it almost always gets awkward. You've said you don't want to change gym - what do you think will happen once the dating and maybe even romance is over between you and the gym guy? And besides that a break up is always an unpleasant event, think about how this guy might hit up on someone else before your eyes in the same gym. I know this happens. I've heard and seen many stories of women getting in a short romance with a gym guy and then suddenly change gyms because the romance was over - and the guy was a regular for a longer time.


Now, in the once in a life time event, that this might be your jackpot and he and you will be a couple for many years - if you have any indication that this might be the case than by all means; go for it! But otherwise I would just keep it at low flirting once in a while and enjoy the attention (if it is mutual or not, I think you'll be the better judge of that).

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I agree with Clinton. I think the real takeaway here is that you obviously aren't that into the guy you are currently dating. It would be one thing if you simply noticed the guy in the gym and thought "Wow, he's good looking. Anyway, back to my routine..." We all notice attractive people whether we are in a relationship or dating someone or not. But the fact that you are really hoping this much younger, buff guy is interested and would drop the current guy you are seeing in a heartbeat to go chase that fantasy says a lot. If I were the guy you're dating's shoes, I wouldn't want to keep seeing you if I found that out. I think you should stop wasting his time.

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Lucia - Thanks for the practical, levelheaded response. That situation you mentioned could happen and l am def not willing to change gyms!


I think Clinton and Krankor nailed it on the head when they said the root of this is probably how attracted l am to the current guy (we were friends before dating so maybe I'm temporarily derailed by the novelty of someone 'new'). Having said that, I'm going to forget about gym guy and whatever ideas in my head about what's going on and focus on current guy.


Thanks everyone

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