Wierd situation with a younger guy!

[Kenda]

Hi! First of all I want to just clarify that I don't live in the US so excuse my spelling mistakes! AND I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE WHILE YOU READ THIS

 

I met this guy, well actually saw this guy at college when we went to see the results of a test we had. He kept on staring at me while we were waiting. I thought he was cute and so after I went home I looked up all the names in the results sheet until I found him on facebook cause I didn't know his name. I added him about a week and a half later because I didn't know if I should I didn't want to seem too into him.

 

Anyway once I added him he accepted me within 3 min. I had never seen him before, he seemed like a familiar face but it's wierd how I never actually knew he existed.

Then we connected in instagram and I decided to talk to him. I said "hi I saw you at when we got our test results and our grades"; and he was like "ow you were there too! I didn't see you" (which is a lie, because he stared at me like the whole time we were waiting). Anyway we got to talking and I asked him what material he had used to get such a high grade and told him I wanted to try one more time because I wasn't happy with my grade. He was like give me your email and I'll sent the material to you. So he was nice about it.

 

Then as we were talking he told me he was only 24 and I'm 26, so that was a bummer. He asked for my number, I was a little hesitant to give it to him do to the age difference but I did. Then we continued talking on viber and he said I owe him a coffee when I can.

 

I told him I will let you know when I can go out for coffee, because I don't know now. He said ok.

 

Then two days passed, and allthough I couldn't go out after two days (I was busy with some home responsibilities); I thought It's better I write him just to let him know that I hadn't forgotten, so I wrote him.and told him that we'll go out in like 4 days (I didn't tell him what I was busy doing) and he said okay. But seeing his photos on fb and instagram, I saw that he was like a night life kind of person and I told him that I don't really go out during the night. And I told him we'll go out as collagues (because I didn't really want to get into it unless I knew him a little bit as a friend/colleague).

 

Then after 4 days passed I wrote him in viber and told him if he could we can go out tomorrow at about 1 or 2 pm. And he was like taking forever to respond we barely had a normal conversation. He was like I can only go out at 8 or 9pm (knowing that I can't during the night). I told him I can't during the night. I even explained why. (In my country it's normal to live with your parents until you get married and so I told him I don't want my parents getting suspicious ) and he like didn't respond at all he only said I don't think I can during the day but if I can find some time I'll let you know. So I got mad and told him I don't know what you thought my intentions are I only wanted to go out with you as colleagues and thank you for the material you sent me. And told him if you want to go out with me you have to let me know at least a day before not at the last minute. He didn't respond at all.

 

So the next day I said, sorry I sounded a little harsh, he said yes you did. And he was like I'm not going out with the head of state to let you know a day before. I said well if not a day maybe a couple of hours. And we just had a short conversation and didn't mention going out. He just asked where I was, I told him at home. He was like do your family members work during this time? I was like no, why did you want to come?( I wrote it in a surprised enoyed way!!) and he was like haha no I was just wondering if your family was there but if you asked me to come I would and he winked. I just said are you kidding we still haven't gone out for coffee and you want to come here! And he just turned into a joke pretending like he didn't really want to come.

 

But I wanted to go out so I wrote him after two days and asked him at about 5 or 6pm for the next day. He AGAIN did not respond.

So the day after I told him I was deleting his number because I don't think he really wanted to go out. So then he responded telling me no he did but I'm making it difficult. And I told him just let me know at least a couple of hours before and not during the night and we'll go out there's nothing difficult about it. So he again said let me know when you can, he was like just tell when you'll go out for shopping or something and I'll come take you home!(it sounded wierd but I just ignored it) I just said I'll let you know when I can go out for coffee. But I did tell him it will be in about a week because I had to go to the dentist to finish two teeth I was working on. He said ok.

Ow and i also asked him: If he wanted to go out with me so he can really get to know me better or for some other reason. And he said no I just want to see you that's all because I need to analyze you cause I don't remember you well.

 

Soooo THE FAMOUS DAY CAME when I finally wrote him ON the day I wanted to go out NOT a day before (since he didn't seem to like that) and asked him can we meet at 5 pm? He was like "what are you doing right now? Are you at home" I said yes I am but if you wan't to meet we can only meet at a coffee bar not anywhere else" and He was like "what does that mean?" I was like "it means I'm not calling you over if that's what you're implying". He laughed and said nono that's not why I asked I just wanted to know if you're the kind of girl that won't even ride on a car with me". I told him that riding on a car with him is not a big deal but I don't need to ride on his car since I can walk to the bar and told him the bar I wanted to meet at; and he was like that's a bar kids stay at.

 

And then he was like: "How about this, Are you home alone because I have to go with my car to find a car service I'm going to take my car at next week, if you want to come with me we'll ride there together it will only take about 20min and then I'll drop you right at your house".

 

I got mad and said no I won't. He was like why? I said "you can't get to know anyone from a 20min car ride so no." And I also said " I doesn't seem like you really want to get to know me" "we never had a real conversation" And he was like "well screw this, you're just too complicated" and he went to say "all the best"

 

I was like: "okay we'll just forget this whole thing" you're too young anyway and "you've still got much more learning to do on how to treat a woman, or at least a woman like me" and he was like "did I miss something, did I ofend you"; I said "yes you did", he said "well I'm sorry I didn't mean to",

I said: "I've been calling for coffee how many times now and all you said was: let's just ride together for 20 min" ,

He was like "I don't know what else to say"

I said "You don't need to say anything, I'm deleting your number"

And he was like "ok"

 

AND THAT WAS IT I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF THIS WHOLE SITUATION. Did I not know how to act?

[Gloworm]

You're worried about a two year difference? Wow.

[Kenda]

I think It's better dating older guys since they mature much later; girls mature much faster and in my opinion are always a couple years ahead. And this age difference is especially noticable in the 20s. What do you think of this situation? I'm confused.

[Gloworm]

It doesnt really sound like he is all that interested since he turned down the coffee bar idea. Id move on to someone else.

[Kenda]

Well he was the one who asked me to go out on the first place...but maybe not for good intentions.

[Cynder]

Honey, two years is not that big of an age gap. I was in a four year relationship recently with a guy who was 9 years younger than me.

[Kenda]

Yes but in this instance it is not the age gap bothering me that ruend it, it was his actions (maybe due to the age gap, or maybe that he just wanted s_x and wasn't ready for anything else AGAIN because of his age or not). Maybe he just wasn't that in to me. I don't think I did anything wrong or maybe I did I don't know!

[ParisPaulette]

How do you not see this guy's game? He doesn't want to take you out, he's not interested in dating you.

 

He's trying to get you to let him come over to your place for a booty call. That's it, that's what this guy is trying to do, which is why every conversation turns to are you alone and can I come over.

 

SMH, why do you not see this?

 

If they won't take you out on a date after the second time of trying to line something up drop them. It's all they're interested in and they don't want to bother with the date, they'll push hard to skip that to get to the sex.

 

The only thing you did wrong was you kept trying after it became clear he wasn't really going to make it happen. The minute someone you don't even know asks to come over to your place and are you home alone understand they are only wanting a booty call. Guys who respect you and want to get to know you do that on regular dates, even yes, coffee dates. And those happen quickly, not a constant run around.

 

P.S. His age had nothing to do with it. I've had 50-year-olds pull the same stunt.

[Kenda]

Yes you are right, and I kind of knew but I just wanted to make sure or maybe I didn't want to know. I had a hard time knowing for sure because something like this has never happened to me before.

 

Maybe this time it happend cause I took the first step as far as adding him on facebook and saying hi. Men are stupid they think you want to have sex with them just because you took the first step.

 

The first time I ever decide to take the first step towards a guy and this happens, maybe I should just sit back and wait for them to come to me.

[Wiseman2]

Thankfully, that has nothing to do with it. Players usually come on strong initiating, pursuing, etc.. You will come across guys who hit you up for sex whether they contact you first or you contact them first.

I should just sit back and wait for them to come to me.

[Kenda]

Thanks to everyone for your comments!