It's been years since I've seen my ex boyfriend

[EnchanteDream]

I know a lot of people will probably tell me not to be hanging out with my ex boyfriend, it's been years though. It's been since 2012 and everything is left in the past. I've been hanging out with him a lot lately and were building up a nice friendship. We've even started out like this even before we started going out and it's really nice. I trust him a lot. He was my first love and I was very close with him, we broke up due to how I was going through a lot. I was deeply depressed due to my past and suffering from PTSD and I honestly felt as if I was just hurting him when he was with me, which I was cause I was always freaking out.

 

I loved him a lot and wanted him more than anything else, in the end I broke up with him and decided to concentrate on myself which was the best decision in the end. He was left hurt, though he ended up moving on and finding someone else. They ended up breaking up in the end, she cheated on him with some guy she met online. We talked through out the years on and off on Facebook, it was always very little though. Than we started hanging out here and there, I think he didn't want to allow me in at first. Which I can understand, I did hurt him and I felt horrible about it. When we started hanging out again, he felt comfortable hanging out with me more and no longer felt nervous. I got together with him and been hanging out with him for two months now and were building a strong friendship with each other.

 

Last night we were getting so close to having sex but in the end I stopped it cause I was on my period and I didn't feel comfortable. I'm also worried that somehow this will ruin everything. Once we have sex with each other, I'm scared and worried thinking what the outcome will be and if it's the best choice. Deep down something is telling me too and than there's this other side of me that's telling me not to and it's frustrating me. I'm having a really difficult time making a decision with this. He was being very sincere and asking me if I was okay due to my my cramps killing me. I opened up and told him that I enjoy hanging out with him and being close to him, I feel something inside growing for him once again and I'm not sure if this is what he wants. He told me that I'm over thinking everything and that I need to relax and trust him. At one point, he even called me shy. I hardly ever get shy either. He makes me completely shy. One prop I give him is that he wasn't even worried about my period and even put a towel underneath me. Maybe he's right. I could be over thinking things like I normally do. Once I woke up this morning, this has been pining over my mind for hours and I thankfully I found this Forum. Please help with this. It's driving me nuts! lol!!

[adviceplease2]

Sounds like the start of a budding reconciliation.

[crowleysgirl]

This makes no sense. If you want to get back together with him then just keep hanging out with him and say so. If you don't, then stop hanging out with him and definitely don't have sex with him. Which do you want?

[ParisPaulette]

In this case, it's been years and you didn't break up over toxicity. You had some things in life to deal with, you treated him right by letting him go so you could deal with those things. I don't really see why there couldn't be reconciliation.

 

My only advice would be to come to this with the viewpoint this is a new day, a brand new relationship. Time and experience can change people IF they learn and address their issues. If you have done so, and he has done so, and you've both matured then let this new thing stand on it's own as it now is.

 

And taking your time is not a bad thing. Continue along, I see no reason not to do so. Good luck.

[DoF]

Second there is attraction, there is no friendship. Friends don't hide feelings, are dishonest or have deeper intentions.

 

Since you 2 were together, attraction is and always will be present.

 

What you have is not friendship, it's mostly 2 people acting like friends. He would NOT be hanging out with your or pretending to be friends unless he wanted you.

 

Good luck ever finding anyone special/significant other OR a man that you really want while you engage with Ex......not gonna happen.

 

Stop being naive and get in touch with reality! I'm sorry

[EnchanteDream]

Thanks for people's responses. I know I always had feelings for him and he knows of this, I believe we both know it. I'm sure I confused a lot of people with my topic or didn't address it clearly enough. I think the entire time I've been really nervous about this whole situation since we've both been hanging out, my feelings for him have been growing overtime. Today I contacted him and told him that I needed to talk to him. He seemed happy once I contacted him. The reason I've been freaking out so much cause it's been a long since I've been close with anyone or even trusted anyone. When I'm with him I feel comfortable with him, he knows me very well and he doesn't beat around the bush with me, he's very blunt and honest.

 

I'm generally can be a sensitive person by nature at times, he keeps my feet on the ground and he always knows what I'm thinking or if I drift off into daydreaming. At first when I started hanging out with him I thought he wouldn't be the type of man I was looking for cause I analyze things. Sometimes I tend to analyze things a little bit too much. The more I thought about it though I truly believe he is and than all my feelings came back for him once again. It made me realize why I fell in love with him in the first place.

 

I had PTSD from an abusive relationship and I was freaking out a lot about this cause I didn't think I was ready. I don't want to be single forever and hold myself back just from one bad experience in my life.

[boltnrun]

Don't have sex with him until everything's clear.

 

If you have sex first it will just confuse you. Plus, what if you do have sex and afterward he tells you he just wants to be "friends" and isn't romantically interested in you? Would that hurt you terribly or would you be fine with it being "sex only"?

[EnchanteDream]

Don't have sex with him until everything's clear.

 

If you have sex first it will just confuse you. Plus, what if you do have sex and afterward he tells you he just wants to be "friends" and isn't romantically interested in you? Would that hurt you terribly or would you be fine with it being "sex only"?

 

I'll make sure I'll go over everything with him first. I don't want to get hurt in the end. That's something I want to avoid.