Crushing on my pharmacist -- Can I even ask him out?

[bananashampoo]

Hey there fellow enotaloners,

 

I have a huge crush on my pharmacist. I have been going to this pharmacy for quite a while now and have a bit of a rapport with him by now, but it's not substantial. I think we get along well, but he tried to keep it professional and I can totally understand why and I actually really admire that. I don't want to put him in an awkward situation either by asking him out and such if this is against the 'rules'. Am I overthinking this, or should I just do it? I really don't mind if he knows things about my health and such. I just really like him and feel a connection with him. Help! What would you do? Ant pharmacist here who can weigh in?

 

I do have a feeling he likes me too, but I don't have too much to go on for this since I never see him outside of his work. Ha.

[Capricorn3]

have a bit of a rapport with him by now, but it's not substantial. I think we get along well, but he tried to keep it professional and I can totally understand why and I actually really admire that.

Personally, I wouldn't do it. Also, going by your post in general, there is nothing to indicate he shows any real interest in you at all (imo). Not only that, but do you even know if he's married? In a long term relationship? It can get very awkward asking him out when he's already in a relationship.

 

Crushes tend to make one live in a fantasy and see things that aren't there.

[Wiseman2]

Agree. No, it's crossing the line. Fine to have a crush but find someone else to date.

[YouCanDeleteThisAccount]

I disagree. There are many other pharmacist's you can go to to get a perception. Ask him out if you want. Why limit yourself from asking? I mean, unless you are miles away from another drug store, then go for it and see what the result is.

[Liraele]

I disagree. There are many other pharmacist's you can go to to get a perception. Ask him out if you want. Why limit yourself from asking? I mean, unless you are miles away from another drug store, then go for it and see what the result is.

 

I second this. Life is short. If you don't ask, the answer is always no.

[bananashampoo]

Yeah, I suppose there isn't anything to indicate he shows real interest in me. All I have to go on really is his behaviour like eye contact and facial expressions. Whenever I do talk to him I'm legitimately looking for medical advice though, but I can't possible go to him just to chat him up, he's a working professional! And he works really hard, I can tell.

 

It is just nice to have a crush though, true. My last relationship was emotionally abusive so mayb e this is just what I need to feel better.

 

It is true I could just go to a different pharmacy too! There's tons around me. Life is short. Ask and you shall receive.

 

Oh and I know he's not married he isn't wearing a ring. If he is married anyway, it's no big deal, he will just say he is and then he can tell his wife a funny story after work. I don't get hung up on things like that. Same if he has a girlfriend.

[Wiseman2]

It could be quite awkward for him and you.

I know he's not married he isn't wearing a ring. If he is married anyway, it's no big deal, he will just say he is and then he can tell his wife a funny story after work. I don't get hung up on things like that. Same if he has a girlfriend.

[bananashampoo]

Ah just forget it. We clearly see the world very differently. I can think of thousands of other things that would be way more awkward than someone asking me out on a date and I am already taken. In fact, it has happened to me and it was not even an ounce awkard for me, it was mostly flattering.

 

I go on this board for support and ideas, not to have people try to plant their weird hang ups in my head.

[Hermes]

Careful, Bananas! No point in being rude.

 

You asked a question and you got answers, which you may or may not like.

[bananashampoo]

I covered why that answer isn't an issue for me, which should be a good thing, and yet he persists with it. This isn't a question of me not liking his answers, but more of the fact that he didn't listen. He doesn't want to give constructive feedback at all.

 

Maybe it's more of a matter of where we are from. I think many different people from different countries post on here. Maybe he's from a more conservative country and I'm from a less conservative one (to put it simply). Where I am from people don't worry so much about that stuff, it's an afterthought.

[Hermes]

Oh there are all kinds here, Bananas, lol. Very sensible people, by and large.

And I don't think you could find anyone less "conservative" than me.

 

Who's "he" by the way.....?

 

Look, do as you please, B. It is up to you.

[Wiseman2]

To answer your question, I would probably not ask my pharmacist out.

Help! What would you do? Ant pharmacist here who can weigh in?

[SoulTaker]

Yeah, I suppose there isn't anything to indicate he shows real interest in me. All I have to go on really is his behaviour like eye contact and facial expressions. Whenever I do talk to him I'm legitimately looking for medical advice though, but I can't possible go to him just to chat him up, he's a working professional! And he works really hard, I can tell.

 

It is just nice to have a crush though, true. My last relationship was emotionally abusive so mayb e this is just what I need to feel better.

 

It is true I could just go to a different pharmacy too! There's tons around me. Life is short. Ask and you shall receive.

 

Oh and I know he's not married he isn't wearing a ring. If he is married anyway, it's no big deal, he will just say he is and then he can tell his wife a funny story after work. I don't get hung up on things like that. Same if he has a girlfriend.

 

As long as you can handle the worst case scenario (having to to go to another pharmacy), I'd say "go for it". The key though, is in how you go about it. You could be direct, which could put him in an awkward position (with you being a repeat customer).

 

Or, you could use some strategy. For example, you could state that you would ask him out if you knew he was "available" (and then gauge his demeanor in responding). Or, try some other option. It's a matter of fnding a way that doesn't put him in an uncomfortable position.

[Dottieflanogon]

I'm also the camp that says go for it.If you are still intent on asking him,then It's probably best for you to find out his marital status first. I would say something like" here’s my number" if you want to go out for coffee or lunch together some time. There's nothing wrong with inviting him for cofee,lunch and telling him that you want to know him better.The way I see it,asking would stop the dreaded "agonizing" -In the simplest of terms, asking more than likely would result in a "answer".And...if he says "oh I'm sorry, I have a girlfriend/wife". Or even if he says "thanks but no thanks" the world will not end. If you ask a guy out, he says no and this happens to men all the time and guess what, they survive.

[Capricorn3]

OP: YOU asked for advice and opinions and that's exactly what you got. You won't always get to hear what you want to, but that doesn't give you the right to be rude to people who are trying to help you (which YOU asked for).

 

Thread closed.