Meeting ex's sister

[Wolfshook]

Do you think it is ok to meet ex's sister?

 

She asked me to grab a coffee since I was always supportive of her and helped her in some ways so she would like to catch up. We were in good terms (well,all her family loved me so...)

 

What so you think,is it a good idea?

[jimthzz]

ex-husband/bf? How long together, when broken up?

[Wolfshook]

Ex gf, were together to close to 3 years, broken up for more than 3 months and I know them both for at least 7 years.

[Robin2904]

I don''t know I'm not sure how appropriate it would be. How long have you been separated? Would your ex know about this and be okay with it?

[Wolfshook]

Idk if my ex would know(I dont talk about my ex at all,it's part of healinf process for me,and her sister agreed not to talk about her),and to be honest I dont care what she thinks about it, it's her problem, it wasnt me leaving her.

 

And I'm in frequent contact with her sister (or rather she is in frequent contact with me as she is mostly contacting me).

 

If we will be meeting it would be in few days so I have to make up my mind quickly.

[Robin2904]

I think that might be a little soon. Were you close with her sister? I met up with my exes mom over a year after we were together and had lunch because she came to my city for the afternoon, we were quite close. I think 3 months might be too soon. Would you be okay hearing you your ex, hearing about who they may be dating etc? Ask yourself that....

 

Edited to say: Never mind I see you say you were in frequent contact with her sister. Well the choice is yours. At 3 months post breakup for me that would have been way too soon to meetup with my exes family, but only you know how you feel.

[Wolfshook]

Thank you, I will have to think some more about it. I just feel like I should not avoid people because of her and how she feels.

 

And I'm sure we will not talk about my ex,because if we were to talk about her I'd go away asap. Even if I heard about my ex idk if it would bother me so much (I've seen my ex a month ago and despite that I'm doing good), I do my best to get my ex out of my life and my heart (oh I could not imagine this day comming during the first month after breakup).

[omnigeode]

Idk I think if you're broken up then it's none of her business if you wanna have coffee with her. As long as you're not pursuing a relationship with her sister and are just remaining friends I don't see an issue. Just don't invade your ex's life and it'll be fine.

[Wiseman2]

Will she report back to your ex?

If we will be meeting it would be in few days so I have to make up my mind quickly.

[Wolfshook]

Lol, relationship with her sister is a huge no-no for me,so it's not going to happen (and I really believe she is a lesbian).

 

About invading my ex's life, I've been out of her life for more than 2 months now, I only know what she told me when we met up,and that's it,and even then I havent go deep into her life, we are not together any more and she has every right for privacy,and so do I.

 

About her reporting to my ex, I dont think she will,and even if she does I have nothing to hide, my life has not been so bad since our BU (some of my dreams have started to come true, I have decent job,etc) so if she does report there is nothing I'm ashamed of. And she wouldnt report unless my ex asked,and then again it would be her problem,not mine.

At least that's the way I see things, if I'm wrong, please correct me.

 

Btw. Really thank you for your time .

[omnigeode]

You sound like you have one of the most healthy attitudes to a break up ever. You're not interested in dating relations of ex, you have nothing to hide, you're keeping well away from her. I see no reason why you can't meet up with the sister for coffee.

[Wolfshook]

You sound like you have one of the most healthy attitudes to a break up ever. You're not interested in dating relations of ex, you have nothing to hide, you're keeping well away from her. I see no reason why you can't meet up with the sister for coffee.

 

Well yes,and I would like to give some advice about this to other people going through breakup (I should probably start another thread and probably will but I will just keep it here for now).

 

My attitude comes from me forcing myself to do NC and really throw her out of my life, unfollowing (and later on completely deleting her off) on social media and really trying my best not to know anything about her life.

 

It's been hard and I'm nowhere near over her,but I see I'm happier this way than I was when I held onto her.

 

How I did it? I forced myself not to look her up, I forced myself to hold it for one more day and I told myself I will look it up tommorrow,but when tommorrow came I told myself I will do it another day, now I dont really have urge to look her up. I still miss her though.

 

The worst problem was me imagining her doing all sort of stuff,that stopped when I had sex with my "fwb",because at that point I told myself "look at me, I'm wanted by somebody and I can do it" and that's when it stopped. Sex was awfull though,but apart from that I emotionally got better.

 

Another thing was me meeting my ex, although it set me back a week or two, I've realized I'm actually doing pretty good in my life, if not better than her, she remained that old lazy girl that doesnt even bother to at least search for a decent job,an is somewhat of emotional wreck.

 

I still miss her though,but nearly as much,and would love to be back with her but that's pretty much in her hands so not a thing I should stress about.

 

Hope somebody finds this helpfull.

 

Oh and I forgot, watching swingers helped me a ton (the movie,look it up), best movie I've ever seen,it hits the spot just right.

[HeartGoesOn]

I think the wound is too fresh to begin interacting with her family members.

[Wolfshook]

Today she called me right as I was done with my work,said she is in the same city where I work and asked me to go for a coffee, I was caught a bit surprised and responded yes, so we went for a coffee, it was all good. Since she lives between my work city and my home I drove her home, and now I got message from my ex thanking me for driving her sister home, lol, talk about weird situation, well I take responsibility for making bad decisions, I learned from this time.

[Wiseman2]

Yep, the sister was gathering intel...lol.

I got message from my ex thanking me for driving her sister home, lol, talk about weird situation, well I take responsibility for making bad decisions, I learned from this time.

[Wolfshook]

Haha, 007 style.

 

I avoided talk about my ex and just said I'm happy with my situation now..

 

If it was intel gathering, then they will have hell of a time from my responses.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent. Have you her from her or the sister again?

I avoided talk about my ex and just said I'm happy with my situation now.. If it was intel gathering, then they will have hell of a time from my responses.

[Wolfshook]

Yeah, she just briefly talked to me about some band we both like,not much.