My EX just called is getting me mad now

[vhshowdown]

My EX just called after a week of NC. She called Friday nite at 10 pm and left a message. She is like I was just seeing what you are up to. I called you this weekend too, she tells me. Ive been just thinking of you actually, so I thought I would call you. We talk for a little while, and then she brings up her new bf, I gotta go, bye, and hangs up.......

 

I am now thinking about just changing my phone number or something. I dont know what to do. At one time last year after we broke up, she told me never to call her again, and she calls me a month later..... So telling her to never call doesnt work....... I had a great weekend, and now this... I need some advice here please.....

[MetallicAguy]

Some girls like that just lead you on. Don't go for it, which you probably won't. If it gets really annoying call the cops and tell her she's harassing you.

[annie24]

Don't pick up when she calls! Easy as that. Don't bother changing your phone number. Don't return her calls. She'll get the hint. Or, just tell her and be firm - you don't want her to call anymore. But, it sounds like you're still hurting over her.... I hope things get better for you!

[savannahohsavannah]

Maybe she was just angry when she said she never wanted to speak to you again. And now that she is calmed down she'd like to at least be friends...or civil. I would give it no more thought. If you want to talk to her do. If you don't...do the rush off the phone number when she calls. She'll get the message soon enough.

[MsMe]

My EX just called after a week of NC. She called Friday nite at 10 pm and left a message. She is like I was just seeing what you are up to. I called you this weekend too, she tells me. Ive been just thinking of you actually, so I thought I would call you. We talk for a little while, and then she brings up her new bf, I gotta go, bye, and hangs up.......

 

I am now thinking about just changing my phone number or something. I dont know what to do. At one time last year after we broke up, she told me never to call her again, and she calls me a month later..... So telling her to never call doesnt work....... I had a great weekend, and now this... I need some advice here please.....

 

Do you have caller ID? It works wonders. You don't have to answer a call if you know she's on the other end. It saves you the time and trouble of changing your phone number. She sounds like a manipulator who does not stick to her word. Not someone you would want to have a relationship with.

[DN]

If you don't want her to call you just say so every time she calls.

 

Phone rings, you pick up, she says "Hi, it's me, Exgirlfriendpullingyourchain"

 

and you say "Stop calling me, Exgirlfriendpullingmychain"

 

and hang up before she says anything

[vhshowdown]

Thanks for all the replies. I have ID on my cell phone, not my phone. And now I think about it, she hasnt called my cell in quite sometime, cause the last few times I didnt answer...

 

Problem is, yes I still have strong feelings for her, which makes it even more difficult. But, I got out of her way if she has a new bf, I dont call her, I dont go see her.... Makes no sense to me at all....

 

I will tell her next few times she calls, I am gotta go, or I am busy, etc....

It sucks I gotta do this, but it is driving me crazy...

[lady00]

I'd say get a caller ID box for your home phone. She is being unfair by calling you to "see what you're up to" and then mentioning her new bf. You don't need that. Avoid her calls...if you accidentally pick up tell her that you don't want her to call anymore and if she does continue to call, hopefully by then you will have caller ID on your home phone. Good luck!

[vhshowdown]

Actually what i did yesterday is take the phone off the hook for all weekend, so if she does call, she will have to call my cell phone, which has caller ID on it...

 

Its too bad people have to play idiotic mind games, especially when I have feelings for her still, it really hurts....

[HeavenLee]

But taking the phone off the hook is not getting your point accross. Pick up her call, let her know that you respected her enough to not keep pestering her or bothering her in her new relationship and you would like the same respect, and that frankly, you'd just rather not here about her new conquest because you are not interested. How rude of her to rub salt into your wounds. You don't have to be nasty, just tell her these things and make her feel as bad as she should.

[savannahohsavannah]

I don't agree with telling her that she is hurting you. Some people would simply take that with pride...and you don't want that do you? Just tell her, you are not into her now, and that you see that she has a new bf, and that you should both simply move on. Give her a place where she can email you, if she chooses, but just don't answer the emails. That should appease her need to contact you while letting her get the message that you are not interested in being pals.

[vhshowdown]

No, I wont tell her she is hurting me, etc... You are right, she would take that like she can turn the knife harder... She uses her words as her sword. So far out of sight, out of mind has worked this weekend real well. And having the phone off the hook thru tomorrow has worked wonders as well. She has to call my cell phone, and right now she wont do that....

 

Her problem is that she works with her new bf, so she doesnt want him to know she is calling me!! Great relationship, huh.... So, if she calls my cell phone, and I dont answer, I may be tempted to call her back... She doesnt want that..... Some how I need him to find out she is calling me, then she will get the message not to call.... Cause otherwise, I tell her not to, she gets mad, then gets over it a few days later, and then calls a week later....

[keefy1972]

VHS next time she calls, just simply tell her, "Look, I can't talk right now, I have company and don't want to be rude to her. I will call you back" and then just don't call. Unless of course, you feel excitement and are still in the wussy stage of this break-up and don't want her to think you are seeing someone else.

[annie24]

I don't get why you just don't tell her the truth: "I don't wish to have further contact with you. Our relationship is over. I think you should focus on your new relationship now. Goodbye."

 

I think if you start making stuff up, or being passive aggressive by leaving the phone off the hook, you're just avoiding the issue. Just tell her up front. Direct is the best way to be.

[vhshowdown]

VHS next time she calls, just simply tell her, "Look, I can't talk right now, I have company and don't want to be rude to her. I will call you back" and then just don't call. Unless of course, you feel excitement and are still in the wussy stage of this break-up and don't want her to think you are seeing someone else.

 

 

Part of me wants her back, so ya, that is causing a problem. The times I have told her I'm busy, I cant talk right now, I will call you, etc... she gets all mad, then she eventually calls back. I am prolly gonna get rid of my home phone, and just keep the cell phone.

[annie24]

Well, I think you should stop being so scared and do something. Seriously - you're getting rid of your home phone to avoid talking to this girl? That's so lame. I mean, get rid of your home phone if you don't need it, but these little games are just stupid.

 

If you still have feelings for her - tell her. She's still calling you, so she must have some feelings for you too. If she says, no, she doesn't want to be with you, then fine - you have your answer - you can move on and play phone tag with a new girl.

 

This phone game is just utterly stupid.

[vhshowdown]

Well, I think you should stop being so scared and do something. Seriously - you're getting rid of your home phone to avoid talking to this girl? That's so lame. I mean, get rid of your home phone if you don't need it, but these little games are just stupid.

 

If you still have feelings for her - tell her. She's still calling you, so she must have some feelings for you too. If she says, no, she doesn't want to be with you, then fine - you have your answer - you can move on and play phone tag with a new girl.

 

This phone game is just utterly stupid.

 

You are right . This is stupid, I agree. She is the only one I just cant walk away from, ever. I dont know why. We are still attracted to one another, we both know that. She wants us to go out and see other people as well.

I dont know what I want right now. We are both confused, me more so though I think. Its like I fell in a hole, and the more I try to get out, the deeper I get, if that makes any sense?!?!?!

 

It isnt as easy as saying, I want you back, etc... But without talking to her, I am moving on. I just have to prepare myself for the next time she does call, and stand my ground......

[annie24]

Yeah - this really isn't about phone calls, is it? I guess you have some serious thinking to do - about what you want, and what you want from her. No, it's not easy at all. Just give yourself some time to figure things out. Good luck!

[DN]

Listen to Annie - and follow her advice. This is about you controlling you life and not allowing your ex to control it for you. We only allow people to pull our chains because we put the chains there in the first place.

[vhshowdown]

Listen to Annie - and follow her advice. This is about you controlling you life and not allowing your ex to control it for you. We only allow people to pull our chains because we put the chains there in the first place.

 

I know this, and even though I know this, I still change the minute I hear her voice. It is like she has a spell over me or something. I have given alot of thought to this, and I do want a second chance..

 

Now, she has called me the last 2 days at work, twice each day. She acted mad at first, and I asked her about it, then she changed her attitude. We are gonna see each other tomorrow nite and go out for dinner. I am thinking she is thinking it is more as friends. And I am gonna act like myself, if she likes me this way, I think the rest will take care of itself, I hope!! But it could be a start, we shall see. She has been telling me she wants to change, she has been becoming more and more reclusive from her friends, depressed, etc...

 

Any thoughts on the situation as it stands??