Born without emotions??

[MetallicAguy]

Well actually that was my fault, kinda wasn't all that thought out at the time so yeah, sorry if I offended any women. But the mother is as important as the dad, I don't know. The dad just has a bigger role for teaching that's the only difference between that and the mom.

[DN]

Well actually that was my fault, kinda wasn't all that thought out at the time so yeah, sorry if I offended any women. But the mother is as important as the dad, I don't know. The dad just has a bigger role for teaching that's the only difference between that and the mom.

 

I am a man and it offended me, perhaps because of the fact is is sexist, and I abhor sexism no matter who is the offender, perhaps because I have a wife and two daughters.

 

And I also disagree with your viewpoint about the Dad having a greater role for teaching. What evidence do you have for that particular assertion?

[MyNinja]

i just hope that i wasnt exaggerating on any of this, because now that i look back and read all the posts i asked myself " is this really the case?" i dont want to make any mistakes about any of this because i know it can have some damaging affects and ill be really sorry. i guess thats one of the main reasons im afraid of actually doing something about it is because there might not be anything wrong and i just caused problem in the family because of a overactive imagination and being paranoid, but then gain i could be right and not doing something could have damaging afffects.

 

i highly considered gathering all of my family together for a huge meeting to discuss anything thats been bothering anyone for a number of years. My dad thought is was agreat idea but almost impossible because everyone would be hysterical and no one will get anythng said..

[DN]

what purpose would it serve/ What do you hope to accomplish by it?

 

If you think that as a result of the meeting, everyone would suddenly come to an accommodation, apologise for what they have done wrong and everyone forgive anyone they have hurt, it is unlikely to happen.

 

You would accomplish more by deciding what you want. Then go about achieving it.

 

The abuse happened and is not going to not happen because of anything you do. You can only learn to deal with it. Put it into context, and not let it affect the rest of your life. Confronting anybody who had anything to do with it will not do that IMO.

 

More important is to build any bridges you need and want to with your mother and other family members by calm discussion and attempts at reconciliation. Learn from the past but look to the future.

[DN]

If you like I can give you some ideas about how to communicate what you want from people.

 

But you may be well advised to decide to forgo the confrontation, talk, or whatever and just decide that you will forgive in your own mind.

 

Forgiveness can be as beneficial to the person who forgives as to those forgiven. You make this conscious decision to forgive, and to not allow the issue to affect you any more. The whole burden slips from your mind and soul and you are now free to run your life your way, rather than the way determined by your past. It can be wonderfully liberating.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

The stories of abuse may be the cause of the problem. You may have shut down those emotions towards the family - a kind of defence mechanism.

 

I think you should seek professional help to get this sorted out, it could well affect personal relationships in the future, boyfriends, husband, children etc.

 

The good thing is that you recognise what is happening - now you have to find out why and how to deal with it.

 

Good luck

 

--DN, you don't know what you are talking about. THis girl is normal, just like the rest of us. She doesn't need "professional help." ALso, timed eating is not abuse...bizarre, yes....abusive, no. She said she is close to her father.

 

All of us suffer from misplace emotions. We will cry if a citizen of our own nation is killed in war, but we rarely cry when a citizen of another nation is killed in battle. But they are both humans. WHy do you we cry when when a dog is tortured, but our society has no problem killing a cow in a barbaric way to get meat. All of us have misplace emotions. Its just this girl is brave enough to admit it.

[DN]

oh my goodness' date=' i never though of it that way. that was very deep and i appreciate you for bringing that up. I truly believe this is it. i never realized it that way. my dad has also told me that my mom side of the famliy disowns him because we ( me and my sister) lived with him and not my mom. they said he couldnt take care of us because we are girls and girls need mother figure growing up. that was soo ludacrious!! but thanks[/quote']

 

Perhaps not but if you check later on in the thread the poster thought I did.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

I am cautious about jumping on to the abuse explanation bandwagon. I was forced to eat my future by my parents within certain time limits, and I don't consider it abuse.

 

I just think this girl is normal and shouldn't worry to much. I mean, if she gets seriously depressed and suicidal, then she had better see someone who can help her. But misplaced emotions....we all have problems.

[DN]

Hi everyone,

 

I can tell you this that when I was five my mom allowed me and my sister to be verbally and physically abused by my once stepdad. Here's a story.... We had five minutes to eat these huge hamburgers and if we didn't finish we would be spanked. He actually set these alarm clocks on the kitchen table....when we got out the the bath, he wanted to smell us to make sure we washed off. There's a ton I can tell you.

 

I am also cautious about jumping on the abuse bandwagon.

 

But;

 

Five minutes to eat a hamburger at the age of five.
 
Timed by an alarm clock.
 
And spanked because she could not do it.

Seems to me this guy was looking for an excuse to spank five year old little girls.

 

To smell them when they got out of the bath. What particular fetish does that satisfy, especially given the above?

 

And she says there is a ton more.

 

Perhaps we have differing criteria as to what constitutes abuse - but those stories fit mine.

[MyNinja]

nope this guy was never abusive to my mom.

 

DN asked what would be the purpose of the meeting. It will be for anyone to say anything they feel about the entire family good and bad. if they have any gruges or vengeance they better speak their mind. the reason i would want to do something like this is because i want the air to be cleared, not necessarily trying to fix the past. I know this is far fetched but my family is so "choppy" with one another. they need to come together and express their true feelings.

 

As a matter of fact this is exactly why i resort to other people because i can find some real truth in others who dont know me. my family hides out in the bushes and expressing themselves doenst come easy, contrary to me...weird, huh? thanks for all the posts, i can tell you all are really taking into consideration for my well-being