What do I do??

[Madman1373]

I've been seperated from my ex for awhile now, but I still love her. But from getting hurt, I naturally put up a barrier for those emotions. After awhile of no contact she came to me and we started talking again but as friends. Slowly the barrier came back down and once I noticed I stopped talking to her for a brief time to get it back up....little did I know that she had one up too. A few weeks ago she saw that I was hanging out with a girl that she thought was gonna date and confronted me about it. That's she has feelings for me and she wants to be with me but because of the original circumstances of why she left, she has to decide if she can. We really didn't talk much after she told me that and I put up my barrier even more than before. I just don't know if she was telling the truth....I just can let myself be hopeful and then nothing happen, or worse. We finally talked today and she noticed that I was acting differently and I told her that it's because I have my guard up..that i can open up if I wanted to but I just feel distant and afraid. We're gonna talk again later but I just don't know what to do or to say....please help, I need it.

[duncsvoice]

Hey Madman,

 

I've been going through something similar. I will go no contact, my ex (the dumper) will get back in contact, I'll end up feeling hurt and the same cycle begins again. I would be very wary of your exes intentions of saying she wants to be with you. To be honest, it sounds like she is jealous, doesn't want you, but doesn't want anybody else to want you. Having a guard up is completely natural, I've had mine up and each time it has come down I've been hurt. What are you hoping from talking to her? Do you want to get back together? Do you think there is a chance?

 

If I were you, I'd just be very careful. Don't let her control YOUR emotions by saying she still misses you, loves you etc. If she doesn't want to get back together, just accept that (and I know it is horrible to do so, believe me, I'm still trying), and work on yourself. If she wants to fight for you, then let her, but don't settle for anything less than actions from her, not just words.

[Madman1373]

I still have that side that wants to get back with her....but I've changed, and I don't know if itd be possible.....