K's Dream Journal

[WithLove]

I have dreams a lot, and I usually remember them. Thought I'd type them out and get some interpretation on them from those that like this sort of thing!

 

2 nights ago I dreamt of contacting an ex, C. I told him I had found some things of his and wanted to meet up to give them back. He agreed and we met in the parking lot of a mall nearby. I got out of my truck, walked up to him, grabbed him by the jacket and kissed him.

 

Last night I dreamt of another ex. I'll call him Latin Lover (hehe). I somehow started talking to him again. In my dream he was single, although I know currently he is not. He also looked the same as he did 2 years ago. Anyway, we went on a trip to a town about 2 hours from me. I remember that we had a great time, even though I purposely would do and say things to irritate him. He never lost his cool, though. I took him back to my place and my father was there. I introduced them, but didn't clarify who Latin Lover was to me. I don't remember anything intimate happening, although I got the feeling that we were more than friends.

 

 

 

I'm well aware that I'm dreaming about intimacy because I've been single for 2 months now. I'm over my ex and working on things solo; breaking my patterns of jumping into relationships too soon. And I dreamt of these two exes in particular because they were my best lovers.

 

Purposely irritating Latin Lover was strange; but I can only guess that when I was with him, I avoided doing or saying things that might make me look stupid, because he was very judgmental and would call me out on things I was wrong about. I hated when he did that; so I think I was testing him in my dream, and also asserting my own independence.

[WithLove]

Last night I dreamed about C again.

 

I dreamed that he was having an issue with someone watching his daughter for an evening. I volunteered to do so. (IRL he is blocked.) She was so cute, and had learned to start speaking. She still babbled, but a lot of words were crystal clear. (She has autism.)

 

He came to pick her up and when I opened the door, he just launched himself at me and started kissing me. We had sex twice and afterwards, he broke down and told me these past 2 years apart have been the hardest on him that he's ever been through. He tried to contact me, but I have him blocked, so he couldn't. He said he reached out to my mother, who is friendly with him but refused to give me any of his messages. He told me he is still in love with me and wants a relationship, and that he'll wait as long as needed for me. In my dream, I accepted what he said and told him I'd think about it.

 

The next day, he came over again, and we went for a drive. I told him I had decided that I couldn't be in a relationship with him. I told him I didn't trust him, because I believed he cheated on me. Even if he swears he didn't, I wouldn't ever be able to trust him again anyway. I was aware, in my dream, that I had the wonderful people of ENA that helped me to know my own limits. He started crying and asked me why I couldn't give him a chance to prove himself. I told him I had given him 2 years of our relationship for him to prove himself, and I just didn't want to do it again. Then I woke up.