Getting "Better" Hobbies/Interests?

[akrngrl]

The dating scene I’ve noticed lately is largely made up people who love to work out, love to eat out/try new food, and love wine/craft beer/drinks in general (around me at least). My issue is that none of those things are my hobbies/interests (or things I do at all really on my own time) and I’m finding that in general, I often have basically nothing in common with anyone I go on a date with.

 

I do run a handmade business in addition to my full time job, am super into DIY projects and dabble in graphic and web design from time to time. It’s like I’m a total homebody during my alone time, but I’m ridiculously "go with the flow" for date ideas (as in I'm never like "ew no I don't want to do that" minus the one time someone suggested we go to an outdoor beer festival, in the middle of winter, during a rainstorm...). I’m always excited to get out and experience something new. The issue is that I have no basis to talk about any of it so I’m wondering if my go-with-the-flow nature isn’t enough? It seems like people lately are REALLY into something or a small handful of things (coffee, craft beer, food, the gym, etc) and I’m not knowledgable on any of it.

 

Has anyone run into this? Do I get “better” hobbies/interests that are more likely to be enjoyed by the opposite gender? I’ve always liked that I didn’t have the same/typical hobbies so I had my own identity and something to keep myself busy. I’ve never gotten any backlash for what I like, but I feel like I can’t connect with people because I don’t share any of the same passions. It seems awful that I even have to ask that, but I'm genuinely curious and as much as I'm a "like me for me or leave" person, I feel like if we can't connect with some similarities of activities longevity probably isn't in my future.

[Gloworm]

I can relate. Maybe you are dabbing in the wrong "pool" of people. Keep looking! Have you tried putting yourself in other cities on dating websites.. Maybe a tech hub if you like graphic and web design? Or ask out the guys at home depot or the paint store if you like diy projects!

[akrngrl]

I'm glad I'm not the only one! I'll have to look into the tech area, the home depots and paint stores by me unfortunately have gentleman out of my age range. I'm starting to think I'm just an odd egg haha!

[melancholy123]

There's never anything wrong with getting new hobbies/interests, they help you grow as a person as well as give you something new to dive into. Maybe expanding your area where you look for new friends could help, not necessarily geographically, but local groups, night school, clubs, bands, community theatre, whatever interests you.

[maker]

I'm in the same boat with regards to the DIY stuff and creating things while I'm not at work, very few women that I meet (outside of specialized conventions) are into that. Meetups might be another source of guys who like the same things, although there are no local ones where I live so you might run into the same problem.

[thejigsup]

Let it go, dude.

[TMifune]

You missed the part where every....single....single woman just "loves to travel".

[akrngrl]

I'll keep an eye out for meet ups! I remember when I lived in NY they had something called Events and Adventures, which sounded cool...if any of the activities were things I'd normally do haha. I got heavily into the online dating scene because I moved to a small town that doesn't have a whole lot in the way of individuals who are single in my age parameters. I feel like I'm constantly finding DIY projects to do so while I want to seem more, I guess, "relatable" and learn about what's popular, at the same time I want to keep doing what I love.

[maker]

You missed the part where every....single....single woman just "loves to travel".

 

Oh yeah, I almost felt like standing still when reading some of the dating profiles and listening to protracted descriptions of their last summer vacation.

[akrngrl]

@TMifune I KNEW I left out one of them! I see that a lot on men's pages too. Or I go on a date and they have this endless world knowledge because they love to travel and I just feel like a child and have to answer truthfully with "No, I've never been off the east coast".

[maker]

I'll keep an eye out for meet ups! I remember when I lived in NY they had something called Events and Adventures, which sounded cool...if any of the activities were things I'd normally do haha. I got heavily into the online dating scene because I moved to a small town that doesn't have a whole lot in the way of individuals who are single in my age parameters. I feel like I'm constantly finding DIY projects to do so while I want to seem more, I guess, "relatable" and learn about what's popular, at the same time I want to keep doing what I love.

 

We really are in a similar situation - a smaller town with a limited dating pool, fewer opportunities. Don't give up what you love to do just because it's not widely known or 'popular'! My approach might not be a solution but I intend to take a break from dating for the entire year and work on finding happiness in things that I do, be it alone or with friends.

[akrngrl]

We really are in a similar situation - a smaller town with a limited dating pool, fewer opportunities. Don't give up what you love to do just because it's not widely known or 'popular'! My approach might not be a solution but I intend to take a break from dating for the entire year and work on finding happiness in things that I do, be it alone or with friends.

 

We definitely shouldn't give up what we love! I should probably do that. I'm definitely approaching it at a much slower pace.

[Sportster2005]

Don't do anything because you think it might attract the opposite gender. Your 'like me or leave me' approach is fine.

 

It's always good to explore new things. But do it for the right reason.

[Reflective82]

I would say eating out and drinking are pretty normal hobbies and if a guy didn't enjoy either I would struggle to have a lot in common with them. But it seems you don't not enjoy that? Why not just go with the flow and get into it more?