Seymore Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 Yes, I'm actually re-reading it now in hopes of regaining clarity. Link to comment
lilygirl Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Wow! Ok, so a lot has happened in a not very long period of time. I think you need to give yourself a break, I know it probably feels like it has been forever but these are still early days in this journey, unfortunately. I think leaving is terribly, terribly hard, and I can only imagine how hard it is when there are kids involved that are important to you as well. Your ex's life is pretty out of control and things will probably have to get worse before there is a chance of them getting better. I think you have done the best thing for you but I understand how that can cause you to feel guilt and anxiety as well. Link to comment
Seymore Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 Thank you so much, lilygirl. Yes, she was out of control. I keep thinking about good times and forget the bad. I was just thinking about when she got kicked out of her own nephew's birthday party last year. She was drunk (of course) and she kicked me full on for cracking a joke. Her handicapped niece was yelling at her and couldn't understand why she did that. Then she punched one of her nephew's friends in the chest for smoking. Like full on, lose your balance punch. She had a habit of kicking or punching people when she was drunk. Thinking about that just kind of brought me back to reality today. Thank you so much for reading and your input, it helped me today Link to comment
lilygirl Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 You are most welcome. I relate to your story very much. I really struggled after my last breakup as there were issues as well (not alcohol but similar in severity) and I kept focusing on the good bits and ignored most of the bad bits which made it all very hard for me to move on. Gosh how I longed for a simple breakup due solely to incompatibility! Link to comment
JA0371 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I think you have a side to you that likes to save or rescue people...and maybe that's why you're beating yourself up. Don't forget..this woman physically abused you. That in itself should be a huge dealbreaker. This woman is toxic to the core and no amount of love will save her. Only SHE can do that. It's normal to miss someone that wasn't very good to you. Sometimes those people are actually the most addicting because they make you feel alive....even if it's negative. So just consider how your life would be in another five years with this woman. I feel bad for her kids ....they are probably suffering the most. Link to comment
treesandbees Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I can relate to how you are feeling, especially with the depression. Hope you feel more like your old self soon and the only thing that even helped me a small amount was seeing my ex for who he really was, not who he wanted me to think he was. At least you know how your ex really was, she didn't seem to hide it from you or others you mentioned. Just no that that type of situation isn't the best for you. Link to comment
Seymore Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 I think you have a side to you that likes to save or rescue people...and maybe that's why you're beating yourself up. Don't forget..this woman physically abused you. That in itself should be a huge dealbreaker. This woman is toxic to the core and no amount of love will save her. Only SHE can do that. It's normal to miss someone that wasn't very good to you. Sometimes those people are actually the most addicting because they make you feel alive....even if it's negative. So just consider how your life would be in another five years with this woman. I feel bad for her kids ....they are probably suffering the most. Thank you so much. I definitely like to help people, and I've been told that people take advantage of that and that I have a hard time distinguishing between who NEEDS or deserves help and who can't be helped. Link to comment
lilygirl Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 The fact that you know this about yourself will serve you very well and maybe it doesn't feel like you can make the distinction but in leaving it shows that you do. I know it is hard for you to see at the moment because you feel really down but it took a lot of strength to leave the situation and in time you will see that you did the right thing by you. This realization will bring you strength, you did not create this situation and you did the best you could, but if she isn't willing to do anything about it then you really had no choice but to leave. Link to comment
Seymore Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 You are right. I did do the best I could and it wasn't enough. And I put up with more than most would, so I can't see her having any kind of successful relationship the way she is now. Link to comment
youareworthy Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Hi Seymore! I really like your new photo! C'est très artistique! Youareworthy Link to comment
Seymore Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 Merci beaucoup, mademoiselle! Lol I pulled it off Google. Link to comment
lilygirl Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 It is a cool image, it certainly speaks to heavy heartedness... I hope you are feeling better... Link to comment
Seymore Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 It's up and down. Better than the other night, definitely. Thank you. Link to comment
lilygirl Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Oh those ups and downs... am glad to hear that you are feeling better than the other night. Link to comment
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