I'm 7 months pregnant and just got dumped 2 months ago.

[Sabby]

My ex and I were in a serious relationship for 3 years. I have 2 children from a previous relationship and I am now 7 months pregnant with my recent ex's first child. We started out great, as does every relationship. He was great with my kids too. They love him. Since we've been pregnant, my mood swings get the best of me and I blew up at him for small things. He went from telling me that's not ok, to just outright ignoring me. Now he shuts me out. When I try to talk to him, he ignores my texts, calls or in person he just won't speak on any matter I bring up that he's not comfortable with. We used to tell each other everything. Never hiding anything from each other. Now, I don't even know who he is anymore. He broke up with me 2 months ago. Telling me that he can't take being with me anymore and he isn't happy. I tired to make him level with me and reminded him that I'm pregnant and we can get through it. But he said no. He also said he is not in love with me anymore. That was very hard to hear and I've just been an emotional wreck since the split. Now he'll just text me 3 times a week to check on my pregnancy. It just feels like everything slipped away so fast. I'm still confused. Apart of me wants to work it out and try to get him back. Another part of me wants to leave him alone and let him be because he's not happy. I don't know what to do. Does anybody have any advice to help me move forward without having false hope?

[DoF]

It's over. You pushed him away with action (words/hospitality etc) and he has lost love for you completely. he is ignoring you because he SHOULD be ignoring you.

 

LEARN FROM IT is the best thing you can do. Going forward I would highly recommend you keep your relationship at "child only" and DO NOT take thing out on him or continue your hostility or unhappiness towards him.

 

I can't even begin to tell you the importance of father figure in child's life, you should know this as you already have 2 younger ones......so allow him to be the best father he can be. Who knows, if you show him WITH ACTIONS that you are a great person, maybe he will change his mind.

 

But honestly, I wouldn't count on it.

 

Going forward, accept that it will be EXTREMELY hard to find a great male figure as a single mother. Also, DO NOT introduce your children to ANY men that you don't know extremely well, as ANY male figure = father figure the second they meet them. So take time to get to know them WELL and make sure relationship develops LONG LONG LONG before introduction (this will take at least 6 months- 1 years +).

 

It's time to be mature, swallow your pride, put your emotion/feelings aside and BE STRONG/SMART WOMAN!!!

 

Good luck

[metrogirl]

Hopefully when the baby comes, he will have a change of heart.

 

Too many women use the excuse of having pregnancy hormones to justify treating their man like crap and you just can't do that. It's no different than a man that has a series of bad days at work and comes home and treats his wife like crap. It's not acceptable either way.

[LC8328]

I understand about your situation and I am sorry this happened.

 

I have to agree with metrogirl though - don't use your pregnancy as an excuse to basically emotionally abuse anyone.

 

When you and him talked, did you apologize at all, or did you just say it was because of the pregnancy and we'll get through it?

 

I understand pregnancy is a very special time (happened to me a couple times), but pregnant, on your period, whatever - you are still accountable for the way you treat people.

 

imo you should have apologized. Men don't want to feel like they're in a hellhole when they're at home. They want to be appreciated and loved.

 

Now obviously you should be pampered as well because of your condition, but let's be honest, it's hard to show love to someone who blows up at small things our partners do. Pregnancy is not a get out of jail free card.

 

My advice is, take some time to reflect on this situation and your behavior. Be honest with yourself this time. In relationships, you need to apologize when you are in the wrong, and if this is something you are unable to do, a relationship would not survive. I don't know if he'll come back or not, but it would help to work on being the best version of yourself. Good luck hon.

[Sabby]

I'm not the type of mother that would hinder a father and their child from having a relationship. My first two children's father makes my life hell bc of his personal feelings towards me. But I have never came between him and my two children with him. I also am not the type of mother that introduces her children to every Tom, and Harry. I protect my kids from my personal life. With this recent ex, we knew each other before I even had children. When I started having kids, he knew them and they knew him prior to our relationship. Even though I still do have feelings for him, I am willing to let him go and find his happiness. I'm not on a mission to find a new father figure for any of my kids. They have their own dad's. But I'm definitely going to try and be strong and carry on. Thank you for your advice.

[Sabby]

I understand what you mean about some women using pregnancy hormones as an excuse. He thinks that I do that. Before pregnancy we were the best of friends. It was a great relationship. We weren't perfect, but we were happy. Then when I got pregnant, he was very excited and happy. He said he'd be there and to call if I need anything. Well he actually started letting my oh calls go to voicemail. Wouldn't text me back till hours later. It started to frustrate me. I expressed how being neglected was really hurtful and he said he's tired from work. He works 10 hour shifts so I tired to be understanding and patient. But before we ever gotten pregnant, communicating was never the problem. He texted me throughout his shift everyday. We'd talk on the ph every night. I guess when he stopped all that, I wasn't used to it. And of all times it happens while I'm pregnant. So following that, he stopped visiting me and going on dates with me. I was confused and frustrated. I blew up at him "what's going on? You're never around anymore, we don't even talk" he'd say I'm just tired from work. But i'd see him in our mutual friends social media at get togethers and having a good time. I texted him one night telling him i miss him and I hope work wasn't too hard on him. Hours later that same night, one of our friends posted a video and he was in the background having a good time and he was on his phone. I was hurt. Bc then I knew he was just ignoring me. N now he just ignore me all together. I'm a pretty strong individual. I have never let a guy get me down the way I'm feeling down right now. That's why I feel like my pregnancy hormones have a lot to do with me being so emotional and moody. I didn't just blow up at him for no reason. I felt neglected by him. He always says he's tired from work, but always has the energy for other stuff that isn't work related. And worse, he doesn't even tell me about these gatherings or invites me.

[Sabby]

@ CML342 IMO I think he realizes he's not ready for a family. He is willing to be there for our child, but he doesn't want to be with me anymore. It sucks, really bad. But life goes on. Thank you for your advice. It's really helpful