I am Devastated and alone....

[WoundedRose90]

I don't really know where to begin with this, but I will do my best to explain what has happen in my life. My entire world has fallen apart, and just to wake up each morning is extremely painful.

 

I met a guy last year on Facebook and we developed an online relationship which lasted over a span of 8 months, before he came to move in with me. We talked day and night, non stop..morning, noon, and night. We texted, phone, and everything. He even talked with my family members including my mom and my daughter. I actually fell in love with him and I fell hard.

 

4 months ago, I finally agreed to let him come stay with me and my daughter. He was perfect at first. He took care of me and my daughter..he cooked, he cleaned, he waited on us hand and foot. But then his attitude started to change. He became snappy and always aggitated. It bothered me, but I figured that was just apart of his personality.

 

Weeks passed and we would argue over little things, that were not much of a deal. But somehow we always made up. I expressed that I did like his behavior and I saw how he changed for the better. We had talked about Marriage prior to moving in, so we decided to get a Marriage License.

 

We were okay...we still had ups and Downs like any other couple, but we were fine. Then...I became pregnant.

He was excited and thrilled when he found out. He was over-joyed! And so was I.

 

During my first OB/GYN appointment , I found out he had given me Chlamydia. He swore up and down that he had no idea he had it, and it came from a previous relationship. I forgave him. I also found out that I am a High Risk Pregnancy due to High blood pressure. I had the worse form of Pregnancy nausea you can imagine, my first trimester.

 

 

But then when I was 8 weeks along, his mother started telling him about a job offer that is 5 hrs away, up where she lived. She INSISTED that he get on a train to come and see about the Job. She pushed and pushed, until he finally left. He left me at 8 weeks pregnant, sick as a dog! On top of caring for a 4 year old. He told me to just lean on my family for now, and that he'd be back. I was Devastated...

 

Two weeks went by and I find out by way of Facebook, that he started a new relationship with another female in the area he's in. It Shattered my Heart. It hurts to even think about it now. I couldn't believe he had done that.

 

I contacted the female, and we exchanged phone numbers by way of Facebook. I called and told her everything. She was stunned! She told me that he told her that I had given him Chlamydia! That I was angry & bitter person. And that I was jealous of what they had. And she told me that he wanted to impregnate her as soon as possible.

 

I called his mother and told her what had happen, she wanted no part of it. But wanted to insure her role of Grandmother to the baby. I contacted him by phone and asked him why he had done what he did...he basically blew me off and told me he meant what he said to her. I nearly died hearing that over the phone.

 

Since then, I have basically gone down. My life is a mess, and my relationship with my daughter is affected. I am numb...I can barely get out of bed in the morning. I have prayed my heart out for peace of mind. I keep seeing him in my dreams, I keep hearing the female tell me what he had done. I keep seeing the memories we had when we were together and I am tormented. I wake up in the middle of the night in tears, pleading to God to help me. I am 4 months pregnant, and I am afraid of harming the child. I have thoughts of killing the baby inside of me. I cannot Hear another "Move on, forget it" statement..it only makes things worse. I am being forced to move on anyway. Please someone help me....please I'm begging for advice on what to do. Help!!!

[dias]

He told her that you gave him chlamydia. Image what person he is. You should thank your lucky star

[Astrogirl]

What a vile creature you were with. Thank your lucky stars your not with him anymore - and not suffering from a much-worse disease. He'll never change. he's played you both. Good riddance.

[jennylove]

Ok, before he moved in, did you actually date in person prior to him moving in,or, was the "relationship" all virtual?

 

Why did you allow him to wait on you and your daughter?? I can see why he became snippy, that crap would get old fast!

 

I have no comment on the STD. You were at risk for having unprotected sex with him. When I am going to start having sex with someone, I will insist on both of us getting checked out first. It's 15 bucks at any public health department.

 

I have no comment on him leaving you pregnant. That wasn't cool if him, but why weren't you more careful?!

 

His new gf? Who knows what he really tells her, who knows what their rship is all about.

 

So what are your options? Have the baby, hit him up for child support. Or, have the baby, give the baby up for adoption to a loving couple and move on.

[Liefde]

You should google "Pregnancy and childbirth - Services" for your area many of these services do counselling as well dealing with complications like you are having.

 

It will get better as you find your feet.

Big hugs!

[staypositive1]

OMG, you poor thing! What a horrible evil person is this guy!? He has absolutely no heart!!

 

Listen, I know it hurts and it will hurt for quite some time. I know this is not nice to hear, but it is the truth. Do you have family somewhere close? or friends? Your MUST stay busy: go for coffees, do pregnancy yoga (this one really helps), download headspace app and meditate 20min a day and read the Power of Now by Eckhard Tolle! These will help you to calm down.

I suggest (from my own experience) that you get a therapist. It helped me immensely!

The pain will only ease with time and if you stop speaking to him. You MUST stay strong for your children and you MUST take care of yourself. You cannot let what this a@%£&!hole did to you affect your children. I can tell you from experience that it will impact them when they grow up if you don't get yourself together now.

Trust me, you do not want this man in your life. You will understand this with time. You are a wonderful mother and you deserve BETTER than this!

Stay strong and stay positive! Biggest hug!

[Pixels]

Chlamydia is easily treatable. Assuming all details are true, I'm inclined to say that there is a serious mental disorder present and he's actively neglecting his health, resulting in the persistence of this infection...

 

First and foremost, find counselling to assist you in coping with the psychological trauma of this experience.

 

Second, as a high-risk pregnancy with evidence of severe mental illness factored in, the fact that your choices are to either be financially unstable, or keep this guy in your life for the next 18 years, and the resentment you already have towards the kid... Termination may be an option worth serious consideration... Adoption may be another consideration, but I feel you should discuss the risks this baby is facing with your doctor. I only know that certain mental illnesses have an element of inheritability... Quality of life also widely depends on the social system the child will be involved with...

 

With that aside, it sounds like you're having symptoms of severe depression (which I don't blame you). For this I further urge counselling...

 

Just remember that no step of the system can force you to do anything unless you start making threats towards yourself or others... Also remember that no kid deserves to be unwanted...