Natari Posted October 28, 2015 Author Share Posted October 28, 2015 This happened over a YEAR ago? Yes the conversation happened over a year ago. And I had no idea until two days ago about it. Some might say oh it happened so long ago get over it but it's fresh to me. I've only just found out about this betrayal so yeah Link to comment
bulletproof Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 coz i have trust issues. and not because of him. because of a ex boyfriend who cheated on me throughout our entire relationship. he ed me up mentally and emotionally. im constantly thinking im being cheated on, even with my new bf whos an absolute angel to me. and i sometimes check up his messages to see if hes been faithful etc. so far he was doing real well until i found that conversation. When you're at the point in your relationship that you're reading his phone, it's time to end it. There's clearly no trust. If you are screwed up "mentally and emotionally," you really have no business being in a relationship in general. You have both behaved poorly, in my opinion; him for drinking to blackout drunk and not taking responsibility for his actions, and you for snooping and justifying his behavior. Link to comment
Natari Posted October 28, 2015 Author Share Posted October 28, 2015 When you're at the point in your relationship that you're reading his phone, it's time to end it. There's clearly no trust. If you are screwed up "mentally and emotionally," you really have no business being in a relationship in general. You have both behaved poorly, in my opinion; him for drinking to blackout drunk and not taking responsibility for his actions, and you for snooping and justifying his behavior. You have a good point. We have both spoken about the whole situation. And we both love each other enough to let this go. He's forgiven me for going through his messages and I've decided to try and get over this small indiscretion. I know he genuinely feels guilty, he's not a bad guy. I'm sure if anyone here met him, you'd know straight away he is a good guy. No one has treated me better than him, so while some may say bad things and that I'm defending him, yes I am. Because I know him. All I wanted was for some good advice of how to cope with it when I was struggling, not condemn him for a mistake that I know won't happen again. Link to comment
mandeelove Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 If u had a great relationship this far and he treats u like a queen and never acts shady, go with that. Try to take that as one mistake he had a handle on and never would hurt u again. If u look back for a year and remember many times he disapeared, treated u wrong, got shady , then u may add up the pieces of this puzzle and think hes a total cheat. But if u never had one bad gut feeling, maybe he is a great guy who messed up once. Everyone says once a cheat, always a cheat but theres times a man really messes up and would never do it again.. And i agree. He never deleted the fb messages. Obv he doesnt have a sick cheater mind because a real cheat would be hiding it on a strange app or deleting them always. I been cheated on so i know. My ex cheated on an app i had NO clue about, deleted the messages, and the girl emailed me !!! Good luck girl !!!! Sent from my SM-G925P using Tapatalk Link to comment
Countrymandude Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Major red flag he told you ahead of time this could happen and it did what are the odds, basically he told you hey while I am gone if I get drunk and an opportunity presents itself Ian going to take it, are you going to be able to trust him again if the answer is no then you should end it and let him win your trust again, if he tries to win you back then he is truly sorry but if he doesn't would be glad you didn't wasted your time, I believe next time it will be more than just a kiss Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 ^ Agreed...Well said. Link to comment
Natari Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 Major red flag he told you ahead of time this could happen and it did what are the odds, basically he told you hey while I am gone if I get drunk and an opportunity presents itself Ian going to take it, are you going to be able to trust him again if the answer is no then you should end it and let him win your trust again, if he tries to win you back then he is truly sorry but if he doesn't would be glad you didn't wasted your time, I believe next time it will be more than just a kiss It's wasn't like that. He's not sleazy and not the type of guy to do that. He wasn't warning me that it would happen, he was being upfront and honest about his worries that he would make a mistake. He's always honest with me about everything, and when I look back on everything I honestly believe he didn't remember. If he remembered he would have told me coz I know the guilt would have torn him up inside. Link to comment
Natari Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 If u had a great relationship this far and he treats u like a queen and never acts shady, go with that. Try to take that as one mistake he had a handle on and never would hurt u again. If u look back for a year and remember many times he disapeared, treated u wrong, got shady , then u may add up the pieces of this puzzle and think hes a total cheat. But if u never had one bad gut feeling, maybe he is a great guy who messed up once. Everyone says once a cheat, always a cheat but theres times a man really messes up and would never do it again.. And i agree. He never deleted the fb messages. Obv he doesnt have a sick cheater mind because a real cheat would be hiding it on a strange app or deleting them always. I been cheated on so i know. My ex cheated on an app i had NO clue about, deleted the messages, and the girl emailed me !!! Good luck girl !!!! Sent from my SM-G925P using Tapatalk Thank you! Finally someone who gets it. I've been cheated on in past relationships and he never does the things the other guys did. I know it was one time, and I had a good talk with him yesterday about it and we've made up. I actually feel 100% better now that I've gotten the chance to really chat about my problems with him. Link to comment
Countrymandude Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 It's wasn't like that. He's not sleazy and not the type of guy to do that. He wasn't warning me that it would happen, he was being upfront and honest about his worries that he would make a mistake. He's always honest with me about everything, and when I look back on everything I honestly believe he didn't remember. If he remembered he would have told me coz I know the guilt would have torn him up inside. I completely understand where are you coming from my wife's cheated, I also turned to the forums and I was not prepared for what I was reading from people's comments I didn't want to see it, now that I decided to move on and forget about my wife betrayal and leave her, the truth is ugly and I accepted it, if you turn to forums but only want to see what your eyes and hart want to see at that point is pointless to ask for advised only time will tell if you made the right choice if he didn't see any consequences for his mistake he might do it again, I wish you good luck and hope things continue to good as you expected Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.