She aborted our child without telling me

[Anxious_Heart]

I broke up with my girlfriend, near the end of the relationship she was acting very moody, and to be quite honest i could'nt trust her, we were together for two years and two weeks after the break up she calls me back wanting to talk again.

We were talking at first as if everything was alright, like she wanted to get back together, but then she tells me shes talking to someone else and that the last three weaks of our relationship she was pregnant with our child which she then aborted after the breakup without my opinion. I had no idea she was even pregnant in the first place so i told her to f... off and i walked out on her, she's like "how could you just leave someone like that, after all we've been through, why can't we be friends, i don't wanna lose you". and thats something i'll never do, i'll never watch her be with another man and i won't keep it as friends, so do you think it was completey wrong for me to just leave without a goodbye and to never come back?

[jecht]

yes yes i do cause u have now proable scar her or something it proable would have been better to calmly talked it over

[Jimbo10]

Buddy, I hafta say, you really really screwed up bad!

 

First off, SHE doesn't need YOUR permission to abort a baby. An abortion is completely up to the woman

 

She's acting moody...so you left her???? That just being a jerk! Common, do you know what she's been through aborting a child? So she aborts your baby, and then you abort her.

 

You screwed up, and you need to make things right.

[Anxious_Heart]

I did'nt know she was pregnant, she aborted the baby without me having a clue she was pregnant in the first place.

She lied to me then rubbed it in my face after we broke up, if i knew she was pregnant while we were together then i would've gladly worked it out and did what i had to do to make it work, don't get it twisted buddy

[Iceman26]

Hey Jimbo, wait until your in his shoes before you call him a screw up.

 

It takes two people to make a baby, not one. He should have had some say in the decision (even though it is in reality up to her to keep the baby or not) or at least let her know how he felt about it and it was a cold and selfish thing for her to have the abortion without at least telling him, then to turn around and start talking to another guy.

 

Anxious Heart, you sound exactly like me and how I would have handled the situation before and afterwards. I feel you made a smart decision and you have my support dude. I am sorry for what happened to you regarding the abortion and I would said worse to her then what you did. You left the right way and treated her the way she treated you; like crap. My hats off to you dude, dont waste anymore of your time on her.

[jecht]

yah i forgot abou it u do have a say on what happens to ur child and u should have been pissed personally i'm against aborstions all together we all desever to make our own desicion if we live or die so i think what she did was also wrong

 

hope everything ends up all right in the end

[Anxious_Heart]

Hey iceman thanks alot, i'm glad somebody finally understands, i loved her enough to wanna have a child together, and then i find this out and it killed me inside.

I forget to tell you what else i said, this i kinda regret but at the moment i was to angry to care and i actually still don't care but i told her this "I hope you die alone, you don't deserve anyone you f......in phony"

Thanks again iceman... to jecht

[peanut15]

So a baby would have made you stay with her? That's just wrong. I hate to say this but its within her right to have an abortion. The relationship would have ended anyway baby or no baby. I mean you didn't even know about her pregnancy and you broke it off with her.

[Anxious_Heart]

you'd be surprised how a baby would suddenly change your life let alone your relationship, before she started acting all scandelous and distant i felt i wanted to be with her in that way, but towards the end i knew it was gonna end i just did'nt know why she was acting that way.

Then after we break up she tells me why and of course it's to late. Before all the trouble near the end, we were a solid couple but things change and when they did i knew it was'nt gonna work

[Iceman26]

Wow man, thats pretty powerful. I dont know if the Iceman would have gone that far

 

No worries man, you are welcome, and keep your head up dude, you will find someone better and ignore anyone that says you were mean to her and that you should apologize, she deserved it. Good luck bro.

[peanut15]

you'd be surprised how a baby would suddenly change your life let alone your relationship,

 

I do know how children change your life, I've got two under the age of three at home. And I also had a miscarriage.

 

Also you said that before the trouble in the end, you were a solid couple. Let me ask you this...then why in the world break up with her? I just dont' get it. You are posting her trying to get people to side with you and tell you she's a bad person for aborting your baby. She has every right to do that. On the flip side, I've heard of men that wished their ex's aborted their pregnancies so they wouldn't still be paying horrendous child support. If you were a solid couple as you stated, no problems that arised in the end would have made you leave her and dump her. She was scared and why not, after a rough end with you, you left her and to her you didn't even seem like you tried to even remain in the relationship. And after you found out about her abortion, you just proved to her that SHE wasn't worth even remaining friends.

 

Yeah its sad that she aborted your child but then again, it was her child as well. I know you are probably hurting from this but she was the one that actually had the abortion and from what I heard, its not picnic as well. She's going through emotional and physical scars as well...more than you can ever imagine.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Thats really really sad. No one should take the life of thier child, born or unborn. I hope things work out for you!!!!!!!

[Alabama]

I can see why you were pretty pissed. The abortion wasn't right of her to do, and she had not right as it was your child too. You didn't even get a chance to know about it. I would say you did the right thing. But don't stay mad at her forever. I'm sure it was hard for her to do...good luck!

[HeavenLee]

I can understand how you feel. It was her deception first of all not to even tell you she was pregnant, but then to abort your child without even giving you a say in it, well that's just plain wrong. I can see why you didn't trust her, and that's not your fault if you were none the wiser of what was really going on.

 

I don't think you did the wrong thing by telling her where to go and walking away from it. You were hurt, and that was your reaction. Fair enough, and she must understand the implications of her actions. The part about "hoping she dies alone", well that may have been going a little bit too far. It probably deserves an apology, but I think that things should just be left as that if you want nothing more to do with her. It's really whatever will help you sleep better at night. But there is nothing wrong with being upset at having your child aborted rubbed in your face.

 

By the way, a thought just occurred to me. Do you truly believe that she is telling the truth about this, and is not just trying to hurt you?

[ghozt]

that was totaly worng of her to do that. im goig through soemtin simaler but im a friend thats telling an ex that if her curent bf got her pregnet that she dosent need to abourt it cuz aboution is worng

[DN]

I broke up with my girlfriend, near the end of the relationship she was acting very moody, and to be quite honest i could'nt trust her, we were together for two years and two weeks after the break up she calls me back wanting to talk again.

We were talking at first as if everything was alright, like she wanted to get back together, but then she tells me shes talking to someone else and that the last three weaks of our relationship she was pregnant with our child which she then aborted after the breakup without my opinion. I had no idea she was even pregnant in the first place

 

look at these points:

- You broke up because you could not trust her

 

- she was 'talking' to someone else

 

- she was mad because you broke up with her

 

- then she claims she was pregnant with your child and aborted it

 

- and now you are grieving over a lost baby

 

Question for you:

 

if you can't trust her, why do you believe anything she is telling you?

 

What she is saying may be the truth but it is also highly likely that she:

 

- may have told you about talking to someone else to get revenge for dumping her

 

- may be lying about talking to somone else to get revenge for you dumping her

 

- may be lying about being pregnant just to get revenge for dumping her

 

- may be telling the truth about the pregnancy and abortion but you were not the father and she told you you were to get revenge for dumping her

 

My advice is to have nothing to do with her at all, don't believe anything she told you and move on with your life.

[PrincessLinzay]

In your position, I probably would have reacted the same way. As a woman, I find it disgusting that she was using an abortion as a tool to get to you. Im 100% pro-choice all the way, but I definitely don't think it's something to be taken lightly. It's a serious decision, one that will effect you for the rest of your life If she didn't have the common courtesy to tell you she was pregnant in the first place, what was the point of being like, "Um, by the way, I was pregnant with your child, but I decided to get rid of it.......just wanted to let you know....." Ridiculous, and very telling about her maturity level.

 

As the previous poster said, I may even be skeptical of her having even been pregnant in the first place? You could ask her to see the receipt. They give you all kinds of papers. Just a thought.

 

Im very sorry that you had to go through this.

[Jimbo10]

My apologies.

 

I did not fully understand the situation, and the way I first interpretted this was that you found out she aborted a child, and then you left her.

 

Now that I understand the situation I'm totally on your side. She used the abortion to get at you, and selfishly. My apologies for getting it all twisted up.

[mt_joy]

I can understand why you are pissed. It was your baby as well. I don't agree with abortion in the first place, but that baby was half YOU and she got rid of it. I would have done the same thing as you if I were in your shoes. That was very deceitful of her.