Can this really affect a Guy?

[LuciaSeia]

I have a serious issue...or at least the guy I am with says he does. He is very shy and never let me touch or see his..well penis. It has been a month we've been together and he finally fessed why he is so shy and, abnormally weird about intimacy.

 

He said that he can't...get it to stay up, he gets scared and his, I guess, erection goes away. I don't understand because I've never met a guy that this happens to. He's a 23 year old virgin and says its been the most embarrassing hinderance in his life and the reason he has little confidence girls and relationships...because this is the hardest this for a 23 year old guy to go through.

 

Are there really guys who are that scared, or just can't physically get it up?? I'm worried that it could be something else in his life he's not telling me, but maybe this is a serious medical condition? Please help, I'm not a guy and just can't understand the seriousness of this to have affected his whole life.

 

 

[Day_Walker]

What its probably going to take is for him to become comfortable with himself and comfortable with you. That is just going to take time, I cant say how long it is going to take. If you are willing to put in that much effort realize it could take a while. At this point it doesnt sound like a medical condition, if the problem persists after a decent amount of time lets say 3 months then it would probably be best to see if there is a medical excuse or other problems that he isnt telling you about.

[chai714]

ED (Erectile Dysfunction) affects millions of men. He should talk to his doctor about prescription medication that may help him overcome this. Whether it is psychological/physiological or both, will be determined by a doctor.

 

Until then, take baby steps with him. Turn off the lights if it makes him more comfortable. Watch an adult movie with him. Wear something sexy underneath. Getting an erection starts in the brain, so it's important to do things that stimulate his mind (which will cause an erection). Be creative, but make sure he's comfortable as well.

[LuciaSeia]

I'm not sure if I want to help him out anymore....I feel terrible thinking like this, but I almost feel like a guy in this case. He is the feminine insecure male...and I'm the passionate sexual female, trying to get into HIS pants!! I can't believe it....what kind of a guy does't want to get physical with his girlfriend..he won't even let me go down on him.

 

 

I'm not sure if I like the way I feel about myself. I'd like to think I'm a good girl, but I have needs as well!! He can't satifsy me and he said it himself that he was afriad of not being a good boyfriend. Maybe I'll stop trying to be a savior to every guy with issues out there. I just feel guilty now, because I don't know how to break it to him.

[Cecelius]

Then just break up with him -- the longer you wait, the harder it will be.

 

And for the record, the best way to mortify a guy with these kinds of issues is to talk about them with others. So be classy and just dump him gently, don't talk about it with your friends and don't talk about it with him

[Tess]

Sorry to hear about that, it must be frustrating for you.

 

Don't know if this helps, but I was once with a guy and had a dysfunction problem, and he'd been circumcised. He said that he didn't lose his virginity until he was 25 because he couldn't get it up properly. But when he finally got round to going to the Dr they found out he had too much foreskin. So he had the op and that helped a bit, but it was never 100%. It used to go down while we were doing it. Also he was quite small in length and width.

[Hope75]

You've only been dating a month, your guy is very cool to be honest with you about this problem, but I don't think you owe it to him to stick around and try and help if in other ways he isn't worth it to you.

 

Does he have other redeeming qualites? If he does, than maybe you could work with him a little. As a teenager a guy I dated was very nervous in the bedroom and would lose his erection too. I did not make a big deal out of it and simply asked him calmy and quietly to trust me. I turned out the lights and went down in him very softly at first and then with more intensity.

 

He got VERY hard and we were able to have intercourse after that. After the first time he was MORE than willing to let me "give it a try". If your guys feels close to you and that he can trust you you may be able to work on it with him, anxiety plays a HUGE part in a man's ability to get and keep an erection.

 

I know sex is important to you, but what about his other qualities? Is he a good guy who makes you happy in other ways? Maybe you could give him a little time and put in a little effort and see what "grows"?

[lil_unique_me]

you say you wanna help him?

well ehat good would it do breakin up with him i mean after all he needs help with this and you will just shatter his confidence in women even more because you will have broken up with him and this will lead to even more problems.

now im not sayin that you have to take this all on on your own but think about how he feels for a moment before you take any more action.

Catie xxx

[revdeluka]

i hope you can now understand why all guys are and should be shallow. we dont want to be anybodys savior. if anything happens to you physically in the future,and your boyfriend doesnt like you anymore, i hope you understand.

[dude82]

dont freaking dump him for that....that would be a real petty thing to do. Take the advice and wait for him to be comfortable with you. If that doesnt work get him drunk..works everytime...ha

[Anxious_Heart]

LOL....you know what, he's gotta small 8=o thats why he won't let you see it.....lol....i'm sorry i had to say that, it's a possibility....

[Anxious_Heart]

In all honesty it's because he's a virgin, it's called performance anxiety it's his first time, theres a lotta pressure involved especially for a guy, you need to get a little more comfortable with him start slowly then work your wayup to sex, you need to make him feel as though it's ok and normal for a guy to be this way, and then in time it'll be alright

[splendidlylost]

Make him more and more comfortable with it and he'll be fine over time.

 

As for pressure, let him know that it's all from the outside world, not from you. All the "bigger penis" junk is nothing more than hype, and what's worse is that it's solely been designed to make money.

[Jimbo10]

There is a good chance it's ED

 

It's not serious, it troubles many men, but there is medication. Send his butt to a doctor and get him fixed up. If it isn't that, which it is, he'll fess up.

 

Good Luck

[LuciaSeia]

After dinner we were sitting in his car, talking..and well kissing. He told me he was starting to get turned on (no heavy petting or anything was going on)..so I touched it! He was definitly turned on!! But..he wouldn't let me do anything under his pants...ohhh boy, this one's going to be harder than I thought (no pun intented) .

 

 

So he CAN get erect, I wonder why he won't let it go further. Can a guy be that scared? I'm so confused. I'm losing patience. What do I do!?

[Anxious_Heart]

Accusing him of being gay, then i'm sure he'll react to that, either he'll tell you he's gay or he'll defend himself by letting you do whatever you want.

[LuciaSeia]

I did accuse him! In a nice way, I asked if he liked girls. That made him look like he was about to cry. He was pissed, told me how difficult this was for him and how much he hates himself for having this "problem". I am sure he likes girls, he'll do stuff for me....but when it comes to him, he'll tell me "next time" or "it's a bad a night" (meaning he can't get it up). Oh geez.

 

 

He's not gay.....I try to seduce him...I've done everything, Including telling him he has to go to the doctor. Tonight was told me he was afriad I was going to break up with him. I'm not that mean....I just don't know what to do I know it'd break his heart if I broke up with him at this point. And I'd have a guilty conscience

 

 

Any suggestions?