Told my girlfriend we need a break, but I feel really out of line and bad.

[Colt191]

It's long sorry!

 

We've been dating for 8 months I'm 21 Shes 22. In the past 8 months I've been going to her house multiple times and doing everything she wants to just like that like taking her to Disneyland for the day despite the 5 hour drive etc. She has only been to my house like 10 times out of the 8 months we've dated and never wants to do anything I want to do...tonight she finally came with me to the drive in after weeks of wanting to go, but I had to drive 30 minutes to get her and the drive in is right by my house so I asked if she wanted to spend the night to which she said she has a nail appointment at 3 PM the next day. I kind of had it I've been telling her I want her coming over more cause my parents are making remarks towards me, saying they barely know her and want to meet her more for the past 2 months to which I've been telling her so I dropped her off (30 minute drive) and didn't say anything. She gets in this sad mood when we fight so I broke in an hour saying sorry for what I did I have issues of my own from a past relationship that makes it hard for me to trust people cause a previous gf cheated on me and I opened up about it then she replie with "look I'm sorry I ruined tonight by not coming over." When ever I try to open up with her she just replies with "okay I'm sorry" when it's complete opposite for me when I try to listen to her and let her know she's heard when she needs to vent. So she heads to bed and puts this snapchat story up "when your vibe gets killed lol (knife emoji)". Alright first off she was drunk this night, but she's going to ignore everything I said and act like I ruined her vibe then put it out there in public? So I texted something STUPID asking if she is doing anything stupid with a knife(I dealt with an ex that did) and she replies "no why?" Then I told her cause of the knife emoji and she's upset to which she gets mad and says "don't ever think I'd be that f*cking dumb etc" well that was it for me I told her "Alright alright, I'm sorry I dealt with someone in the past that did I'm glad you don't. I think it's best for us to take a break and give eachother space for a few days." Welp she replied "K." And deleted me on snapchat. I feel horrible for asking her that knife question it was stupid I admit there's no excuse, but what are your thoughts on the general conceals? Again sorry for the length and thank you

[somechick99]

While she could be putting more effort in, it sounds like you're still damaged from your last relationship. If you're still tripping about what your ex did and assuming your new girl is the same, you're probably not over the ex, meaning you are wasting this girls time. Women pick up on that and distance themselves accordingly.

[Colt191]

Well I've only dated 3 exes in the past 4 years and each one kind of left a scar on me. My first one cheated on me multiple times and the next one was involved in self harm. The third one was nice, but it wasn't going to work out. I admit I'm scared of running in to similar woman like my first two exes it was just mentally exhausting to be in those relationships. I try not to be crazy about it, but I just bottled it up and let it out a little tonight which caused the break. I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not.

[somechick99]

Well I've only dated 3 exes in the past 4 years and each one kind of left a scar on me. My first one cheated on me multiple times and the next one was involved in self harm. The third one was nice, but it wasn't going to work out. I admit I'm scared of running in to similar woman like my first two exes it was just mentally exhausting to be in those relationships. I try not to be crazy about it, but I just bottled it up and let it out a little tonight which caused the break. I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not.

 

It's understandable you are hesitant to trust a new person after your past...especially if that person doesn't do much to show they care. And it sounds to me her lack of caring is the main issue more so than your lack of trust (they go hand in hand - how can you trust someone who doesn't care for you? Why care for someone who doesn't trust you?). Feeling bad after a breakup is natural but I don't think you made a poor decision by any means.

 

However this will likely be more than just a break

[mhowe]

This isn't about ex's, trust, baggage. This is bout your gf being immature, selfish and self absorbed. Also, she really isn't that into you per se, she just likes someone to spend money on her and drive her around.

[SooSad33]

I think you're still keeping too much of your past with you. You really shouldn't be 'dragging' issue's of your past into a new relationship. That can hinder it's success and bring things to a halt really fast.

 

If you've never dealt with your past issue's (bad relationships) chances are you're just bringing in extra baggage to a new one. That's not right.

You need to work on those issue's before moving on again, especially if they affected you the way it seems they have...

 

 

To me, there seems to be too much 'sadness and negativity' involved with you two.. are you two not 'happy' together?

A Relationship takes time and takes work. You're wanting things but it sounds like she is avoiding or withdrawing.

In a relationship you should be respecting one another, communicating, understanding and working together.

 

Soemtimes, we realize we're just not compatible.. so it falls apart.

You sound frustrated and she's not giving in much, by how it sounds..

And to 'break up' over small things isnt going to solve anything. If you're done, then that's it... no games.

 

>>I'm sorry I dealt with someone in the past that did I'm glad you don't. I think it's best for us to take a break and give eachother space for a few days." Welp she replied "K." And deleted me on snapchat."

[Colt191]

Here's the thing with that though. I didn't start thinking like this until it started feeling like she doesn't care for me as much as I care for her. We went in to this relationship after doing a friends with benefit thing 2 years ago, but she got hurt because she wanted more and ignored me for well 2 years. I came back to her telling her I really care about her and want to give this a shot so she agreed and I told her I'll prove how much she means to me so she doesn't second guess any of it. That's when I started doing so much for her and I'm still doing all that because I want her to know I care for her, but the past 2 months she just doesn't seem to care enough to return any of it. She says she loves me and she knows I'm serious she said at the 5 month mark. I agree it's not right for me to compare her to my exes, but all I'm asking for is to be met halfway with what I do now that we're this long in the relationship(it can't be one sided forever) and I let her know that just not much has changed after telling her.

[mhowe]

She isn't into you and is punishing you for the FWB arrangement for the past few years. You don't need to prove anything. You need to end it.