I can't get over my breakup

[Jem123]

My boyfriend of a year and a half, who I have known for two years, split up with me last week and it killed me. He said that he still loves me but just wasn't happy with me for some reason. Since then, he spent two nights with me this weekend, we cuddled and kissed a lot and he did try to come onto me the second night but I rejected him as I knew it would be wrong to do that. On that night I found out since we split up, he had been flirting with this girl. I kicked him out after finding out and he was just apologising and grovelling. He told me he was going to stop speaking to her because he's confused as to what he wants and he didn't realise how much it was hurting the people around him (as his friend was supposed to be seeing this girl, it upset him as well as me.)

I met up with him today and he told me he's depressed and is going to see his GP about it (he has struggled with this before) so I am wondering if that is the reason as to why he is so confused at the moment and a completely different person. He said he doesn't want to get back together, so unless he feels differently in the future, I guess it's over. I am just obviously really confused about what happened this weekend as it gave me false hope, upset and hurt about him flirting with someone so soon and I even feel depressed myself because I can't stop thinking about the good times we had together and how they are now history. I love him with all my heart and I don't think I can get over this, I have been crying literally all today and yesterday, it hurts so much to think I have lost someone that I put so much of my love, time and effort into.

[ntAgainPetunia]

The depression may (or may not) be one of the causes, but you need to remember that the depression is in him and his responsibility alone.

 

It's very painful now but I promise you that it gets better. But... it takes time, lots and lots of time, and you will have times when it feels like it is getting worse even as the overall trend is toward less pain.

 

This relationships is done, over, finis. But that doesn't mean a new one can't happen in the future. It feels good to have a little hope, but please don't let that get in the way of your healing and getting better. Focus on yourself, and if he comes back later in your life, he'll have a new and improved you to deal with.

[DoF]

"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you are right!" - Henry Ford

 

You need to cut contact with him all together. It's done. That's the only way you will be able to start the healing process and in time recover.

 

ANY contact with him = reset of your healing time.

 

Good luck

[mhowe]

Depression doesn't make you dump your gf and flirt with your buddy's friend. That is called poor impulse control. And now that you and his buddy are pissed at him, he's saying he is confused and depressed. Ahhh, no.

What he is....is immature.

[DoF]

Depression doesn't make you dump your gf and flirt with your buddy's friend. That is called poor impulse control. And now that you and his buddy are pissed at him, he's saying he is confused and depressed. Ahhh, no.

What he is....is immature.

 

Agreed, I'm willing to bet that he will go to a doctor anyways and he WILL get a pill to fix his "issues".

 

Unfortunately NOTHING will be fixed cause he is completely ignoring the fact that he is a scum and will probably never fix himself.

 

Stay away from him OP, no contact.

[jobelle]

Agree with mhowe. Depression is not an excuse

 

It's normal to miss the good times. However if he is already flirting with other after 1 1/2 years you can probably guess what he will be doing in 10 years when the novelty of the relationship wears off...