SummerHouse Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Hi guys, I'm new to all this online dating although I tried it a few years ago briefly. I have to say a lot of things changed, everyone wants to talk on whatsapp now! I don't mind really, at first I really enjoyed all the attention and communication but it's starting to get a bit annoying. Some of them never plan to meet and just keep texting me their doings day in and out. I never met them, they are not my lifelong friends? How do you go about this? I just said to the last one: it's nice texting with you, let me know if you want to meet. Then we arrange something and he keeps asking about my evening etc. I think it's too much! sending me pics of them with their friends.... Then there is another guy who went completely the other way, he asked for my number, we chatted for half an hour and arranged a date in a few days. Then he said great and talk soon? so I said yes sure text me! So it's been a few days and I heard nothing. In some ways it keeps me intrigued, but then again he could text me once or twice in all this time, just to keep the connection flowing and to come down with a plan what we're going to do? I'd like to know what your opinion on this is, and why do you prefer either way? I guess I'm just a bit nervous, I liked the last one I mentioned (maybe because I don't know much about him??) so I don't want him to forget or cancel anything. Anyway, he still has time to contact me before the date, so I'll just wait. Link to comment
tallydoo Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 I'm in the same boat and wondering what to do! I prefer to meet up sooner rather than later (my favorite is getting a message with "Hey, I read your profile and thought X was awesome. Want to grab coffee and talk about it?") and I just don't have the patience to text or message back and forth without any hint of being interested in meeting up. I've just started seeing a guy who sent me more or less that exact message; each date he's asked for the next one at the end of the one we're on, and then we text about the details and very occasionally about things in the meantime if they're relevant to something we've talked about. I'm very pleased with it. I'm not sure how to be blunt with the "over-communicators" and let them know that I'm really not interested in going back and forth that much (it sounds like you're the same way), but with the other guy I'd just wait until the date, unless you don't know the details of when you're meeting or where. Collect some good stories in the meantime Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Limit yourself. Stop handing out your number.. or information. Nothing wrong with continuing to talk thru the dating site for a bit. Only hand out your info, IF you think somethings going to come about with them. You need to remember.. there are sooo many more they could be talking to as well. So, they've probably handed their number out a few times, already. "Then he said great and talk soon? so I said yes sure text me! So it's been a few days and I heard nothing. In some ways it keeps me intrigued, but then again he could text me once or twice in all this time, just to keep the connection flowing and to come down with a plan what we're going to do?" Just try to go with the flow with NO big expectations. I've been on a couple for about 2 yrs. I've met a handful.. coffee, dinner here n there.. then they distance themselves or I do... because it's not there. But, I do not hand all of my contact info to anyone right away. We need to talk for a few days before I'll do that. And if I do, it's because I do fancy them enough to consider meeting. Link to comment
j.man Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 When I did online dating, I didn't give my number out or ask for a number unless it was to immediately organize a date. I'd send a text to set up the date and I'd send a text the day before the day of to confirm plans were still on and that would be that. I don't have patience for back and forth texting with my girlfriend of two years, much less someone I just met. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 To put it bluntly. You are on a dating site to date, not find text/snap chat/ whatsapp buddies. In a nice way put that on your profile and then stick to it. There are a lot of fake profiles, people using fake pictures and even guys in jail and prison trolling dating sites so be careful. There is nothing wrong with talking back and forth a week or so on the site to see if there is enough there to set up a meet for coffee or a drink. If a guy is so busy he can't find the time to meet for coffee then he has no time to date at all. There are millions of people that live their lives on social media and attend events just so they can post it online for all to see. Not what I am looking for I know that for sure. Lost Link to comment
SummerHouse Posted October 12, 2015 Author Share Posted October 12, 2015 I agree with everything. I guess I have to be more assertive when it comes to keeping my number to myself. What is funny is that the email exchange is normally very pleasant, but once on whatsapp it becomes very, very boring and fizzles out. But then there was this guy who only used it to arrange the date The point about guys in prison is something I haven't thought about yet, good point! Fact is we don't know anything about anyone we meet online, no matter how long we speak. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Also consider those with ONLY one picture....Especially if they look like a model..lol They are often not who they say they are. I had seen one pic where the guy looks quite good.. like he doesn't need to be on a dating site... one day it said he was 'near me' (within an hour away). The next it showed his location in a place like Saudi Arabia! Link to comment
SummerHouse Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 Also consider those with ONLY one picture....Especially if they look like a model..lol They are often not who they say they are. I had seen one pic where the guy looks quite good.. like he doesn't need to be on a dating site... one day it said he was 'near me' (within an hour away). The next it showed his location in a place like Saudi Arabia! That is scary. But yes I normally stay away from strange profiles and always ask for a few more pics. But in the end you never know what's going on in their lives, the last guy I was supposed to meet never confirmed our date. I kept that part of the day free for him, it's really horrible how they dont respect your time. I had a date set up with a guy once and I lost interest, but I felt obligated to cancel him at least the day before. I guess that's the world we live in nowadays, but I'll keep my own ethics up Link to comment
SummerHouse Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 Not to say that I felt pretty guilty cancelling, I know how disappointing it can be. But it's really worse to wait and hear nothing. Link to comment
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