hershey1kiss2 Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 So there is this girl that I fell in love with. When I met her 2 years ago she decided it was not right because she began going to church and had a new faith in God. Some three months ago we had started seeing each other again But she quickly ended things because she was dealing with a recent diagnosis of leukemia. For the last two years I have always stuck by her despite her uncertainty about me and the back and forth always. Even when she ended things 3 months ago I told her I would still support her as a friend which is what I did. I even helped her afford some of her medication from cancer. Some two weeks ago she went through my phone and found text messages of me texting with other women. In anger towards me she attacked my manhood and my character. She has since deleted and blocked me off of everything. However on Saturday night at 11:57 p.m. I had a missed call from her even though I had deleted her number but I memorized your number. I texted her back and said sorry I missed your call and since then I have not heard back from her. What could be the meaning of this phone call? Am I right to feel betrayed? I have always given her the benefit of the doubt in terms of the reasons or explanations for why we could not work out or why she could not commit. Even when my friends said negative things about her I quickly shut them down . So I feel that she told me the benefit of doubt in this situation . Also I feel betrayed because I was doing so much for her and for her to go through my phone like that and the way she treated me after. I explained to her that I was devastated when she ended things but I still wanted to support her but try to move on because I did not feel she would ever give us a real chance. She met up with my friend that introduced us and told him how she does not even like me in that sort of way which I find contradictory because why would you be upset that I'm talking to other women. In my personal opinion I feel that I hurt her pride at the fact that she thought that I was all about her and only about her and it came as a shock to her that my attention was starting to go elsewhere after the last two years. I asked her if she would stick around for somebody who is uncertain about about her and back and forth with her for the last 2 years. I've always supported her and told her that I love her and I really do love her. I just think the whole situation is unfair given the fact that she never really ever give us a real chance and she was not committed to me and did not want a serious relationship from me. I explained to her that it was fair and reasonable for me to try to move on after trying so hard for her for the last 2 years and yet I wss so supportive to her at the same time. She called my support for example giving her money to pay for her medication pathetic attempts to try to manipulate her. Link to comment
Ghosted Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Seems like you are in a sticky situation. I'm sure her being diagnosed with leukemia has a lot to do with the back and forth on her part. Maybe because of her condition she feels that it would be unfair to you (given her medical status) to keep you around. Maybe the cliche phrase is playing a part in this, "if you love something, set it free." It seems as though through no-contact she reevaluated her status on letting you go and called you to tell you something, maybe to apologize for her actions? Whatever the case may be she definitely wanted to talk. Usually when a girl leaves a guy hanging I would suggest to give yourself time before re-connecting but I feel with her diagnosis of leukemia that this can be overlooked. I'm sure she is a lot more scared than you can imagine and I bet that is really messing with her head and her emotions. Maybe give her a call after a few days and try and gauge what she's feeling. Hope this helps! Link to comment
mhowe Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 If she called your support for her an attempt at manipulation, then I see no future for you with her in the romance or friendship level. Time to move on. Link to comment
hershey1kiss2 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 At some point she needs to realize that I was supportive wholeheartedly. Driving to her city after working 8 hour days and passing out on the wheel driving home just because I wanted to spend time with her. She didn't want to commit how iabit fair to expect me to wait around after she had been back and forth with me for the last 3 years Link to comment
hershey1kiss2 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 Will she ever speak to me again or see me? Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I just think the whole situation is unfair given the fact that she never really ever give us a real chance and she was not committed to me and did not want a serious relationship from me She simply is not interested in a relationship with you. You can't change that. I don't think she will speak with you again because you perceive your "support" as making her owe you something. She doesn't want you to wait around. She isn't interested. Link to comment
hershey1kiss2 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 I already told her that the things I did for her was because I geuinely loved being around her and loved and cared for her because she was so special to me not because I was expecting her to owe me Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 But she doesn't feel the same way. Link to comment
hershey1kiss2 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 But she doesn't feel the same way. I get if she did not feel the same way. But she ended things 3 months ago. So she should not be upset when I started to move on and what is with the phone call and then no follow up Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 It really doesn't matter. Just move on. Link to comment
hershey1kiss2 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 It really doesn't matter. Just move on. Yeah well I'm trying my best to move on. Just coming to the realization that I will never hear from her or see her again. I can't wait for all these feelings to fade away Link to comment
blanco Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 The idea of never again seeing or talking to someone you shared a bond with like that can be overwhelming, which is why some suggest starting with 30 days of NC. Once you hit that mark, you likely won't feel healed, so add another 30 days to that. Keep doing this until you have healed and moved on. Way back when, the idea of not talking to my first serious girlfriend again seemed unfathomable, even after we split. Eventually, though, that's what happened. I had no idea our last conversation would be our last, but it was. I think if I had known at the time that it was our last interaction, it would've been too much to handle. But I tried my best to carry on and it just became one of those situations where someone who was once an integral part of your life becomes a complete stranger. I haven't communicated with her at all in eight years. I highly doubt that will ever change. And you know what? I'm OK with that. Time and no contact will do wonders for you. Link to comment
hershey1kiss2 Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 She has now been texting me once a week from the past 3 weeks just to say what's up so to speak and does not seem to be intending to confront our issues. This Saturday I will be seeing her at a mutual friends birthday. I don't know what she's thinking in maintaining contact after this blow out. I have remained distant and unavailable yet polite in my responses to her. Link to comment
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