wileycyote Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Ok so, we separated and it has become very ugly. She has filed a restraining order etc. Today while we met so that I can see me son. My wife said "we love you daddy". Does that mean she loves me or just trying to get on my good side? Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 1. She is abusive, if it has gotten to this point. How she fights you is enough reason to choose differently. 2. It means she is talking to your child in what she thinks is a healthy way. IMO, she is also being manipulative, trying to make it difficult to argue that she is turning your child's against you. I've never once said this sentence to my children. I don't have to. They've plenty of opportunity to discern their own feelings of love for their father. 3. This has nothing to do with her loving you as a wife loves a husband. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 She has filed a restraining order but comes to visit?? You know you can have visits monitored by an independent third-party right? I really can't stand people who get restraining orders and then do everything in the world AGAINST the restraining order THEY wanted. This is why nobody takes them seriously. Link to comment
TMifune Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 She has filed a restraining order but comes to visit?? You know you can have visits monitored by an independent third-party right? I really can't stand people who get restraining orders and then do everything in the world AGAINST the restraining order THEY wanted. This is why nobody takes them seriously. Agreed. Let's add to that people who get restraining orders not because they're in any kind of danger, but solely to gain an advantage in child custody hearings. Link to comment
wileycyote Posted August 22, 2015 Author Share Posted August 22, 2015 Yes, that is what I thought. Thank you Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Agreed. Let's add to that people who get restraining orders not because they're in any kind of danger, but solely to gain an advantage in child custody hearings. This is happening so often I am considering starting a non profit to help men who have been falsely accused Link to comment
wileycyote Posted August 22, 2015 Author Share Posted August 22, 2015 Yes, monitored by a third party. Link to comment
TMifune Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 This is happening so often I am considering starting a non profit to help men who have been falsely accused There are people who publish it as standard advice for women pursing divorce. I wish they could be charged with conspiracy to file frivolous charges or something. Link to comment
wileycyote Posted August 22, 2015 Author Share Posted August 22, 2015 Yes, the thing is she attacked me resulting in some jail time. As soon as I dropped the the charges, she filed charges on me for domestic violence. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Your visit is monitored by a third-party? Then she has no reason whatsoever to be there. Take pictures of her at the visit and send it to the police station that issued the restraining order. Document absolutely everything with pictures if you can. She can't be that afraid if she's at the visit. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 If she's going to play dirty pool I would continue taking pictures of her at the visit and then send it to the police station I'm sure they will consider dropping the restraining order. Link to comment
wileycyote Posted August 22, 2015 Author Share Posted August 22, 2015 Yes, me too. Actually not only has she filed charges against me but has called numerous people at my work place making many allegations. It may result in discharge from the military. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Document EVERYTHING. Take pictures. Write everything down. This woman is a menace to men AND women. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Yes, me too. Actually not only has she filed charges against me but has called numerous people at my work place making many allegations. It may result in discharge from the military. In some court systems her behavior qualifies as harassment, and those charges can stick. Document everything, and keep your nose clean. Link to comment
wileycyote Posted August 22, 2015 Author Share Posted August 22, 2015 That is crazy. I believe it. She has done everything in her power to show what a bad person I am. Job, family, friends. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Ok, thank you. Yes ,document absolutely everything she has done and file a harassment charge. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Please stop trying to win her approval, be the big man, or trying in any way to pull your punches and protect her. I have a friend who is going through something similar, and it was very hard for him to face the fact that he married an abusive woman. It is imperative that you look after yourself. Your son needs you to do this. She will stop at nothing and is using your desire to be liked, to be a gentleman, against you. No gentleman lets himself get abused. It's disrespectful. Get her out of your life 100%. Fight, put up boundaries between you, and protect your lifestyle and your relationship with your son with all you have. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Women like this need to be put in jail. Not only do they make false accusations against men and make it difficult for men they also make it hard on women as well. Because of women like her when women who are truly abused go and try to get restraining orders they don't get granted because the authorities think they're full of crap. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Women like this need to be put in jail. Not only do they make false accusations against men and make it difficult for men they also make it hard on women as well. Because of women like her when women who are truly abused go and try to get restraining orders they don't get granted because the authorities think they're full of crap. Yes, exactly. And that is just for starters. My ex Mr wow is dealing with this now, having won handily in civil court but she filed criminal charges causing him to pUT up a defense again. He lost me, another year of focus on his financial issues, an opportunity to grieve his mom, money. .. because he has to fight these charges. OP, in my friends case, she came after him when he began dating someone seriously whom the kids raved about to her. They had been divorced more than a year and were amicably sharing custody. When I say your wife will stop at nothing, I mean it. Getting divorced isn't the end, unless you shut her down completely. The court needs to have files and files about her, so that later, you remain credible and she does not. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I have absolutely no doubt that there must be a lot more to the story and in cases such as these, they always say "there's your side, there's her side, and then there's the truth". All you can do is make sure to document everything for future evidence and proof. As to her comment of "we love you daddy" - I wouldn't take too much notice of that. Link to comment
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