Conflicted as to who i should listen to; My parents or Boyfriend?

[MelVi]

Alright so I'm sure this is a typical dilemma with people but I just don't feel comfortable asking any friends for this answer bc it would involve telling them a lot of stuff about my parents that would stun them. For starters , I have never had the best relationship with my parents. We've been thru a lot... To sum it up there's been a lot of emotional neglect due to my mothers depression along with her wonderful ability to manipulate others and my father turning a blind eye to everything. But I won't get into that. My boyfriend , is by far the closest person to me. I trust him more than anyone else but I'm still... conflicted ? That would be the best way to put it. I've known him since i was a kid, only developed feelings for each other about 8-9 months ago. But our relationship is mostly based on our great friendship. He is my best friend whom i trust with everything. My parents absolutely hate him for that. He doesn't like them either. But the issue being that whatever conflict there is i always get two completely different stories. My dad will meet up with him to speak to him about things he doesn't like ( all without my knowledge of course and keep in mind I'm in my 20s.) My boyfriend sucks it up and treats him respectfully, no matter how many insults my dad throws out there (and i know he does bc he just as easily insults me). And then when i ask my father he just tells me he's rude and he will only take me from them, i will be abused by him, he will leave me, and when i come back to him (my father) he will reject me. My lovely mother instigates everything, she says he doesn't love me, they know what love is and this isn't it. Which is total bull, my parents have an awful relationship they keep secrets from each other all the time. My father doesn't eve trust her with his debit card. She also tries to give me advice, like that i shouldn't tell my boyfriend everything bc he doesn't need to know everything about me. She only judges him by physical appearance saying he's too ugly for me ( and this annoys me bc he's not the typical big muscle head my mother likes), that he's serious with her and doesn't treat her nicely. She believes he has to win her over . Which i really don't care for. I see no signs of neglect from him, I'm comfortable with him, i feel loved, I'm treated well, we have a very open relationship and respect for one another, and more than anything he makes me happy and he tells me that i make him happy and he will put up with any of it. As he has. I'm just hoping for advice any suggestions on to what to do? I can't move out due to being in college and on part time as is he. I just don't know what to do. They just hate him bc he won't suck up to them and doesn't want anything to do with them. Please just give me some opinions on what to do, and how to handle this. If you've managed to read thru all of this, i appreciate it.

[j.man]

Not a day goes by I'm not thankful I moved out at 17 and never had to answer to my parents as an adult. I could never imagine being in my 20s and having to answer to my mother/father.

 

You gotta do you. You're gonna have to deal with fallout from one party or the other while you're with him and only you can answer whether or not it's worth it.

 

Or you can just keep him separate from the fam until you're on your own. Whether you choose to stick with him or not, I'd strongly suggest you adopt that approach for the next guy.

[shellyf62]

Why does your bf meet up with your father? That is so bizarre.