Imperfections

[Ms Darcy]

That is exactly the kind of response I wanted to hear!! As I am getting to know her more I am knowing and caring less about them. No that has not really happened before and that is why I started this thread. To hear others experience bout it, not to be called names.

 

It's fair to want to avoid name calling. But it's not wise seeking advice for a particular kind of response. It's called confirmation bias.

[Lucia Amman]

It's fair to want to avoid name calling. But it's not wise seeking advice for a particular kind of response. It's called confirmation bias.

 

Yep, Agree! What's the point in asking if you only want to find the 'right' answers?

[Lucia Amman]

To share my own experience: I've dated two guys who were overweight. One was near obese. And yes I loved him! And I loved his big big body. It was the loveliest teddy bear ever. We cuddled LOTS. But every time we had a fight, every time we had an argument I despited him. I hated how he looked, I thought he looked ridiculous. Let me emphasize: this was only when we were fighting. And I was very young. When I loved him I loved him. When we fighted I hated him. It was simple as that. I eventually left him because I knew I would eventually start to hate him for his weight even when we're not fighting. And I loved this man so I couldn't bare to look at him in that way. Of course there were many other things otherwise we wouldn't have so many fights either

Like some brilliant soul here said (I'm sorry I forget the name!); ‘the honeymoon face is as good as it gets. ’

 

On the other end my most recent ex boyfriend was a very attractive, good looking and well toned guy. And I adored his looks in many ways. Even with all the fights and arguments I still found him a very attractive man. And that was part of why our relationship worked for a fair amount of time. But in the end it doesn't matter how you look; it matters more if your personalities are a match.

 

I think you need something in the middle. Attractive enough to not to start hating someone.

 

I still find my most recent ex to be a good looking guy. And my other ex has lost all his weight and I can see he is good looking now! But I find neither of them to be attractive anymore. So yes, love changes the way you look at people. And it can work.

[localvet]

It's fair to want to avoid name calling. But it's not wise seeking advice for a particular kind of response. It's called confirmation bias.

 

Again, missing the point. I was looking for input from peoples experience. That is exactly what she did.