Hung out with my ex 3 years post break up :)

[rickyspanish]

I used to post to this forum all the time in 2012. I was going through everything you guys are going through. At my lowest, I thought i'd never get over her and thought about her for probably 2 of those 3 years. Long story short but after 3+ years post breakup I saw her for the first time. She was in town and I initiated it as I felt completely over her. We went to see a movie in the park and spent the majority of the night together. I am happy to say I felt zero feelings of romantic or sexual interest. It was like two old friends catching up.She even asked me about how dating was going for me and mentioned her dating life and it didn't phase me one bit. A year ago that would have been a knife to the stomach. It was the most liberating feeling. As if i finally got to close that chapter. I felt silly for wasting so much emotion and time on her.

 

After 3 years we are somewhat friends. I am so glad i went through that breakup. She was my first love and first heart break. I used to be so frustrated I had to go through that but now I am so glad I did. I feel so much better equipped in my present and future dating life. I've had some mini breakups since then and now I bounce back so fast.

 

closing thoughts: I think at the core of the sadness i felt post breakup was more due to fear rather than love. Fear that i'd never find another girl quite like her. fear i'd never find a girl i liked quite as much. Fear that id never find a girl that liked me quite as much. Fear i would be alone and not find anyone at all. I gotta say the key really is dating. It takes time. Your going to be hurt in the beginning and that's ok. take all the time you need. but there will be a point when you are ready to get back there. I remember posting in this forum not wanting to hear any of that. I just KNEW my girl and situation was special and come to find out it wasn't. And you know what? That's awesome. I finally got my life back and you can too. I'm not the most eloquent story teller but I do have more thoughts on what helped me get over the break up. If you guys have any questions i'd love to answer. This thread was just to provide you guys with a little hope and maybe some advice to anyone struggling with a breakup out there.

 

-Ricky S

[ambreaux405]

I loved reading this. Thanks Glad you are doing well, even though I wasn't around 3 years ago and didn't get to know you!

[Brotherhood67]

Awesome, glad to see someone react like this ! Many thanks for sharing your story.

I had quite a similar experience yesterday even though I didnt meet my ex nor would I ever want to but I found many photos from 7 years ago on an old hard drive.

Man.

It's funny because, now, all I can see is the empty void in her eyes. All I could see is the fact that she seemed bored to death on all the photos where she is with me. No smile, just a Daria-like look on her face.

Never realized this.

And she already looked this way 2 years into the relationship. Should have dumped her a** on the spot but I guess my self-Esteem was too low for even that back then.

 

And the end of the story ? Didnt feel anything. Erased those photos like it was nothing.

 

And nothing it was, indeed !!

[LovelyDani87]

That's great!

[rickyspanish]

yup yup. thanks everyone.I'll try my best to give advice to anyone else struggling in this forum.

[Davidator]

I'm so glad to read this and so happy for you.

 

Tell us, are you dating another love? Happily single? Are you happier now than when you were with her?

[sonicfan287]

I think this is the place a lot of us want to be after a long relationship following a break up. Whether the break up was fairly amicable or bitter or mutual or whatever it was, it seems like more often than not, the dreaded "ex" becomes someone with whom a lot of negative emotions are fixated on. Or conversely, they become someone a lot of obsessive emotions are put onto and it's nice to know (and see firsthand) that there is a middle ground in which they become someone you can be friends with, you can see without your world changing and that not everything has to be a complete disaster when it comes to them.

 

I'm really happy to hear of your success in getting past her and wish you continued success in your dating and life going forward

[rickyspanish]

Yes! I am happier now. The growth i achieved that wouldn't have happened if i didn't move on is tremendous. I much better equipped to handle break ups, and things going wrong in dating in general. I have worked on dating and attraction and I'm at the point where im so confident I feel like i can get nearly any girl I want. I am a completely different person. No negative feelings. Any time she wants to talk or hang out I can do that now and see her as nothing as an old friend. I love it. Everyone gets to this point. It took me 3 years.