I'm about to cause a storm... Caught her & really need some help

[saluk]

From her perspective it looks different. You aren't going to agree with this - I don't even agree with this. But here it is.

 

Attention at work - kind of nice to get noticed, even though I'm happy with my boyfriend

My boyfriend starts treating me badly

I can't take how much my boyfriend is trying to control me! I have to get away from that, it's not fun anymore

Hey look, I'm free now, but also alone

But wait... I don't have to be alone. I already have the attention I like

Now that I'm free, why not pursue this?

 

You aren't going to win. You aren't going to convince her that she did anything wrong. Even if you could, to what end? She's NEVER going to admit that she was wrong - and she will not break up with the guy because you think he's no good. She chafed under what she felt were your attempts to control her when you were together, you think it will mean anything in this context? If you bug her about it, you are going to prove her RIGHT (in her mind). You are going to convince her that she was right about you and that she made the right move, getting away from a controlling jealous guy.

 

Go ahead. Show her you are who she thought you were.

 

Again, I don't actually agree with this, it's what reinventmyself rightfully called justification. But just like in wargames, the only winning move here is not to play.

[reinventmyself]

I was just having the same conversation with a friend -- The best response is NO response!

Anything you do or say at this point will validate her reasons for leaving. . Don't be that guy.

[cmpatable]

This is exactly her thought process...The problem with this, is the reason she was treated poorly was for insisting on pursuing this texting relationship...acting like there was no issue with it . What kind of excuse can she develop for sleeping with him shortly after.. the guy that that asked me how I could ever be insecure about because he was a young "ghetto" sou chef. Words from her mouth. Shed consistently downplay him

[mhowe]

She doesn't need an excuse....that's the point.

[saluk]

There WAS no issue with it, until you made it an issue. Just like nearly every ex ever, she doesn't care that she has behaved inconsistently from your perspective. Saying "oh nothing will ever happen with him" and then dating him after you split is not any different from my ex saying "your the best boyfriend I will love you forever" and then deciding she never loved me and wanted to explore being single. She will never see it as dishonesty or a lie, for her it was just changing her mind.

 

People are allowed to change their mind.

 

Exes are allowed to go off and do whatever they want with whoever they want. It's not your story anymore. You need to start taking a hard look at yourself and your own story and stop worrying about hers, because there is no healing for you on that path. That's a road that does not have an ending. You can tug on the rope as hard as you want, but it's just going to make the knot tighter. Insert more metaphors here.

 

Walk away. She's making this easy for you. She chose to be with someone you don't respect, someone who she said she wasn't interested in. You have lost some respect from her as well. She's stopped hanging with the mutual friends so it's not even forcing you to make a decision whether to stick with them or not (which could easily have been the case).

 

Walk away. She has. Or you can continue to chase your tail. Sorry that life has dealt you this blow, and especially after having been cheated on before. But the way out of the pain you are in is to distance yourself from her anyway you can. Why keep the drama going? Really? Think about that. What do you really think you will gain?

[Man with Dog]

She hasn't done anything "wrong". She broke up with you. She is dating a "lesser man".

 

It isn't wrong. It sucks, and you are hurt...but it isn't wrong.

Responsible for what? She knows she broke up with you, she knows she was talking to the guy and she got with him after she broke up. And no one but you is calling this a "lie". And confronting her changes nothing besides making you look crazy.

 

What she did do wrong was to establish a relationship with the new bloke while still playing "happy" with the OP. It is also HIGHLY probable that she cheated with the new bloke. She was also dishonest that the OP had "nothing to worry about" and was playing on his insecurities.

 

Cheating on a boyfriend or even a spouse is not a criminal offence but, in my opinion, a moral one. Of course, most people (including me) have done it at various times in the past but it's a very unpleasant thing to do to someone.

[captcha45]

She does NOT know I know the truth. I left her taking full blame and apologizing for "losing herself". She accepted all of it and remained cold as ice. She told me this is all about finding herself before she can be happy with me or anybody else. Well she found her happiness & I think I have every right to be bitter and let her know that.

 

We were supposed to go to Chicago together this summer and I even let her have the tickets for the pain I supposedly caused her. She said she appreciated them and is taking them.

 

Look. I'm probably going to give you bad advice now.

 

If you really need to, tell her how much she hurt you. Tell her it's not fair you had to take the blame for her hurting you. But only do so if she is the one to reach out to you. Don't insult her. Tell her you've got nothing against her (even if it's not true haha) and wish her well. Let her have the tickets and show her you're the bigger person. Don't EVER show her you hate her. Don't dwell on the details. Just say you got hurt and want her out of your life now. Try to be as matter of fact as possible. You're not sad, she just hurt you. And then go complete NC.

 

It's a pretty manipulative move but if it helps you....whatever. If you really want to make her feel guilty that works way better than lashing out. Anger will only justify her actions in her eyes.

 

Don't badmouth her to friends it will get back to her for sure.

[Man with Dog]

I don't think it's bad advice. You could do a lot worse than follow it.

[FirstIn]

I would also do the above (if you feel you can't go without doing something). I think it will eat you alive to say nothing. It's easy for people to type here and say do nothing. Let's be honest though, you probably will have to say something. I know I would.....!!! But, my advice would be to give it time before you do say something. But, maybe I'm only saying this because I have had my voiced insecurities get turned around on me and them rubbed in my face in the past. I can also confirm if you do say something, expert to get it turned around on you somehow, because that's how they justify it to themselves and sleep at night. So don't say something today or tomorrow, or in the next few days. Say something when you aren't angry anymore. Who knows, maybe by then you will not need to say anything.

 

If you do.... I'd let her know that you are pretty disappointed by it all, but wish her the best. I'd even keep it that short. Make it something that she can't reply to negatively at all. I think the word disappointed is a good one because it conveys that everything she said to you was BS, you both know it, and you look down on her (but not with anger). It's something you would say to a little girl "I'm disappointed you did that". I'd probably even avoid texting, put a letter in her mail box or something.

 

On a side note... Bam!!! You've just been given a golden ticket to move on with your life. Many of us wonder here what our ex is doing, if they will come back. It takes us a long time to not want them to come back. Your ex removed that hope for you. You have been given a present in some ways. You can move on and move on quickly.

[cmpatable]

I thought it'd be a golden ticket but it really adds a whole layer of complexity to how I'm feeling. I think a little hope is healthy... now all I am left with is questions that will never be answered. Was this really just over our fighting and new attraction for this guy? What did she see in this guy? Did she ever actually LOVE me? How she could throw away everything we had? Was she really that good of an actor? (If she was then holy give the girl a globe) Was I cheated on beforehand? Who is she really is and is there something mentally wrong with her? I understand in a general sense these things happen ALL the time, and she gave the signs of someone else being in her life, but no matter how I wrap my head around it, it makes absolutely no sense for me when thinking about our particular situation.

 

Besides our arguments over the texting our relationship was still going very strong up until the switch flipped in her. I read back through old texts and sit here asking myself how the hell did this girl just get up and walk out with NO emotion at all. Other other then the texting issue we were best friends through everything and even the last 2 months. We had a childlike bond with each other and you can feel the excitement and love reciprocated from her in everything she says. We just celebrated our birthdays together (she wrote me an amazing letter) We just went to Toronto together for our Anniversary and had an amazing couple days. I figured going back through texts I'd be able to find things wrong in her case with her acting differently towards me and absolutely not a thing besides wanting to move forward from our fighting over this guy. This was completely out of left field.

 

And I hate to down talk some one I do not know but I feel like it can't be more than an infatuation/attraction with this guy from what I see (I'm pretty damn intuitive, but can obviously be wrong)...my relationship with this girl ran deep and I am to confident in that. She may just be to surface level to think about it the way I do I suppose. Either way the love was there when we had it.

 

I fear saying anything because she will take it as surface level and it will only push her deeper into resent. She will be validated in her eyes... It won't go through, she will stand by her decisions and her pride... and sadly she doesn't have much family or anyone who knows the situation to tell her what she is doing is unhealthy.

[captcha45]

It's definitely not a golden ticket....just another kind of struggle. All those questions you are perfectly normal. Keep in mind she is just sleeping with the guy...they're not in a relationship. It might very well mean nothing to her.

[Man with Dog]

Sorry but switches do not normally flip in people. OK, it could happen due to a chance meeting that someone in a relationship meets someone else. Usually, someone will get itchy feet and start leaving emotionally a long time before a split and (yes) there are lots of nominations for Oscars. Usually someone with itchy feet will keep the existing partner around in case the new one doesn’t work out. I’m not proud of this but I’ve done it to girlfriends.

 

I’m with you in that the world is full of “guys/girls that you don’t need to worry about” who become the new partner. Although not even you have proof, there is no 100% guarantee that they slept together before the split or even since BUT I wouldn’t bet against it.

 

She may be “making a mistake” in your eyes and, you’d probably be the first to laugh when the new bloke cheats on her. However, there is no guarantee that he will and (painful for you though it is) he could turn out to be her “happy ever after”.

 

Whether she really loved you or not, you and I can only guess. My guess is that she did but some time around the time she started her new job, she started to fall out of love with you. The chances are that it just happened and there was nothing you could have done to have stopped it.

 

Is “new guy” a symptom, cause or catalyst? Maybe even she doesn’t know.

[blanco]

Saying something may be cathartic, but if you must say something, follow the above advice to do so after some time has passed so that you can do this in a calm, succinct, matter of fact way. Honestly, it's unlikely that even this method will make your ex think or feel remorse, but coming at her like a house of fire will absolutely validate her belief that she was right to move on.

 

 

I'm sorry this happened to you. It's probably of little comfort, but eventually you'll be able to see and FEEL like you dodged a bullet investing more time into a person who felt the need to wander after only two years together.

[cmpatable]

Is “new guy” a symptom, cause or catalyst? Maybe even she doesn’t know.

 

My intuition tells me it's some of each. I think I have it figured out...Her ideals on maintaining a texting relationship, whether innocent or not, were out of line with whats healthy right? As I continually questioned these ideals I lost respect from her... meanwhile while the guy she was getting to know was being sweet to her. She starts to emotionally disconnect herself from me as the days go on, hoping I can understand her perspective and stop fighting her on it. My "disrespect" for her and her infatuation with this new guy were directly related lines on the cart. She is innocent in her mind because she did not agree with me. She throws in the towel realizing my view is never going to change, and that she will be working here all summer with these guys and starting PA school after. Her pride/twisted belief came in between it all and she fell out of love. She figures hey I'm single, I like this new guy I am going to pursue it because I'm lonely and he's good looking/a "great person". She may not have purposefully went down this path, but she did it to herself by building resent for me over such a ridiculous issue. Claiming she did everything she could to alleviate the situation.

 

SO this all would stem from her values of being able to text anyone she wants while in a relationship as long as she knows she's innocent in it. My worst fears came true as those types of texting relationships grow into bigger things. Whether if it would have gotten to that point if I let it go with her or not who really knows. Does anyone think I am wrong AT ALL in how I felt? She would have stopped it if she loved me right... or maybe she's just delusional and really prideful, and let it come in between us

 

As for her "making a mistake" I am just going off intuition. This girl has a LOT going for her.. comes from a great family, comes from private high-schooling, went to a great college, and has our great group of friends who are all in the same boat. This is a city kid, 3 years younger, that doesn't have anything past a high school education. His pictures on Facebook are selfies in aeropostale t-shirts and yankees caps if you catch my drift. I understand that love has his way of working but this is clear infatuation or sexual attraction at best. She has never worked in the event/bartending industry and she was excited to have fun at work with new friends. The job ends for the whole year in a month which is there ONLY connection... I cannot see it lasting much outside of that.

 

Maybe if I wait it out and move on she will make the realisation down the line that her values were off. Will take her seeing me with someone else or finding her attraction back for me. Problem is I don't know if I could ever put my self through it all again just go have he start texting some guy at work somewhere else that in turn drives my insecurities up a wall again. ing blows because outside of this our relationship was a beautiful thing.

[blanco]

Here's my take on the texting: Regardless of her intent, I can, as a guy, say that this guy was absolutely trying to move in. I don't think I've ever regularly texted a girl unless we were dating or she was a long-time, established friend.

 

 

That doesn't mean she shouldn't be allowed to text him, but I usually think frequent texting from a member of the opposite sex when the recipient is in a relationship, is just kind of tacky.

[saluk]

"Does anyone think I am wrong AT ALL in how I felt?"

 

Feelings are neither right or wrong, they are simply feelings. The girl I was dating 3 years ago, who had been planning for a short while to get married, told me I was the best boyfriend she could imagine and she was so in love with me. The next day, she wouldn't say she loved me when I said "I love you", just that she wanted to talk to me the day after. She tells me, very coldly the next day, that she wasn't in love with me, didn't think she ever had been, and could not picture herself married to me. I relate to the "was she acting the whole time? give her a an academy" feeling that you are having.

 

I never really got to the bottom of what went down, but I didn't really buy the story that she just woke up one day and decided she didn't love me anymore. I spent many months trying to figure it out. I had a few in person meetings with her, and the story seemed to change every time. Even in my own mind, it kept changing. The harder I looked at it and tried to figure it all out, the more confused I got. I still don't know. But I no longer care. It took me a long time to get there. The path to healing it turns out had nothing to do with better information or understanding. It had to do with letting go. Something I'm still learning and remembering how to do.

 

With all the extra variables in your case, I just don't have confidence that you will boil down to any kind of truth. You may not see what she sees in this guy, but that doesn't mean there is anything to see. I'll bet he is really fun to be around for her - which for her right now may be all she is looking for. I'll bet there are a lot of things about your relationship that seemed like they were working from your perspective, but drained her that you never knew about. While it feels like a switch, this has probably been developing for some time. This is usually the case.

 

Ultimately: she is the one who decided to leave. It may have been for stupid reasons, it may have been for dishonest reasons, but she chose it. Did you have something to do with it, and is there something that you can do to undo it or make you feel better? I'll bet you didn't have as much to do with the breakup as you feel, and seeing what happened after I can see how you want to prove that it wasn't your fault. Proving it to her will do neither of you any good, and is likely impossible. But proving it to yourself? You are halfway there. You didn't lose her - she walked away. Let her. Do you really want to be attached to someone who does what she did?

[reinventmyself]

Gosh .. we've all been there and can get stuck there for quite some time if we aren't careful.

 

I try to look at the big picture and when you drill it down to it's most basic sense: ALL the reasons in the WORLD don't matter and it doesn't change a dog gone thing. The outcome is still the same. For that matter you can make a ending of your choice. . whatever you want if it makes you feel better. Because it doesn't matter in the end.

 

Going through my divorce years ago I use to go for long walks ruminating about all sorts of things I was stuck on. . While walking I practiced actually opening my arms in front of me and sort of lifting up in a gesture that was that of letting go. . (can only imagine what passers by thought, lol)

That's all I could do. Wanting answers to the unanswerable was such a waste of time and prolonged the suffering.

 

Just let it go . .as a gift to yourself. Honestly obsessing about it is a way in which to keep it alive for you. Unfortunately you are alone in this. Why do that?

 

I get it's easier said than done.

It takes practice but a tool well worth learning.

[Brotherhood67]

It will probably be bad advice but here’s my experience :

 

My ex-wife did pretty much the same as your former girlfriend, except worse : she used the insecurities SHE created to run away with another dude, collect all the money and furniture she could and “punish me” for all the bad things I did to her (which, to be fair, are extremely limited, especially when you compare them with cheating, lying etc. – but that’s not the point).

See, I made one fatal mistake which allowed her to go on with her ways and me for many years – I forgave her after the first time she cheated. Instead of realizing she never loved me or cared for me, my ego told me that I loved her and that – of course – she loved me. My ego told me that I could not be wrong on this. So joke’s on me.

 

So I wrote her a blank check which allowed her to control everything and wait for the next BIG thing – this dude – to dump me without remorse (which btw, cannot exist when you don’t love someone). And she did just that. Without looking back, without trying to maintain some kind of link with someone she spent 8 years with, without even regretting our history together.

 

That’s what you should focus on in my opinion: your ex didn’t leave because she was really sad / angry.

 

She didn’t leave because it was the only way.

 

She didn’t leave because of you.

 

She left because she wanted to. And built some mental process which allowed her to cut all remaining ties with you, making you the bad guy in this story.

Without this, like all cowards and, dare I say, IMMATURE PEOPLE, she probably would not have found the strength to leave you. And in this case what would be the situation?

Spending a lifetime with someone who doesn’t love you for who you are, who doesn’t really respect you, who, at the right time, would leave you without remorse. Is that really what you wanted ?

 

Is that really something to regret?

 

I don’t think so.

 

In truth, her leaving you is a blessing. So there is only one thing to do: thanking her for showing you her true colors and dumping you without remorse.

 

Because, now, your ego is destroyed enough to shut up when coming to the point of wanting to be with her.

 

And if you further need to vent, scream or even show her that you hate her please do it.

 

A single time.

 

And then shut the door tight.

 

She will feel too stupid / justified / angry to ever contact you again.

 

And that’s something to really aim for.

 

And in the process, you will get some ego back. And not be tempted again by this little coward.

 

Worked with me 100%, even if, in restrospect, I should have shut the door immediately instead of believing that she cared a bit for me during 6 months after the break-up.

But what can I do? We are only humans…

[Man with Dog]

One general point. I'm not "telling you off" and if I am, I'm telling my former self off along with you! Your mindset is still very much focussed on HER: what she's doing, what she's thinking. Really it isn't helping you at all. I know this from experience. This city kid might be a moron who posts tasteless selfies BUT it's what she thinks she wants right now. As others have said, what seemed Idyllic to you might not have been for her, or at least not in the recent past. You can't change that.

 

As for the texting, you were right to question it but her insistence on continuing it meant that, by that time, she was totally disregarding your feelings. I don't buy her excuses any more than you do. She was not being naïve, she was being deceitful and selfish. It's very painful watching someone you love get close to someone else. Quite often it results in them dumping you for them but, also, it is pure friendship. What I can say is that there was nothing you could have done to have prevented it. She would have talked to him at work, got a second 'phone, sent coded messages to a "girl". Had you posted at that time, I honestly would not have known what to do to advise you.

 

What I'm telling you now, though, is to try to forget about her. The "great" relationship you had was a lie for the last few weeks/months and the "girl who has a lot going for her" no longer exists. The only thing I can do is trot out the old clichés and tell you that most (nearly all) people survive what you're going through and most of them go on to have other partners.

 

AS for your last sentence: forget it. If she came crawling back, you should send her straight on her way!

[FirstIn]

Sorry I didn't mean to imply it would be easy (i.e. golden ticket) and that you will not hope still. The heart wants what the heart wants. You can't just switch your feelings off. What I meant is that it should be an enormous motivation to not want her back. It should be a foundation to cling too - the fact that you deserve so much better. You should think about your own self respect and that even letting her come back would mean you disrespecting yourself and your values.

 

Where did her actions come from? Wait what? Wasn't it all perfect a week before, a day before? Welcome to the world of women haha... OK sorry to all the women out there who are normal and I know there are men the same. But, my own experience has shown that women can talk the talk and even complete the actions and not realise that their is some other voice inside they are ignoring. My ex was wearing some new lingerie she bought for me just a few days before she ended it. I remember thinking how lucky I was and how beautiful she was. When she ended it I said.... wait what? what about a couple of days ago..... "that was a couple of days ago" she said. So.. don't dwell on how good it was just before. Don't try and understand why... of course you will try, but eventually you just get sick of thinking about it because there is no logic to it.

 

 

The same goes about her and this guy. It is natural to obsess over him and why she would never want him. Eventually, you will get sick of thinking about it. Raise your opinion of yourself, and lessen your opinion of her. She revealed herself to you. Let it be a lesson, but don't let the negativity of it all define you and your future relationships. Get angry, and then let it go when you are sick of obsessing over it.

[blanco]

Spending a lifetime with someone who doesn’t love you for who you are, who doesn’t really respect you, who, at the right time, would leave you without remorse. Is that really what you wanted ?

 

Hacking away at all of the details, I think this is the core thing to focus on. I've struggled with my breakup and ex moving on to someone else, but I know the reason I left in the first place was because the above quote described how my life was starting to look after three years in the relationship. I didn't feel like she really respected much about me; she didn't seem to find value in a lot of what I did; she didn't seem to embrace some of my qualities that I believe are my best; I felt like I was "good enough" for her. And given the demands being made of me, that just wasn't sufficient for me.

[Doofus]

It's not your fault, OP. It's biology. Look around these boards. There are tons and tons and tons of cases where the woman - inexplicably - ends the relationship after 2-3 years or so. Especially if the woman is in her early twenties. I won't get into the whole reasons why this is, but it is. You were cooked no matter what. Even if she had stayed, she wouldn't have been interested in you in the same way anymore. She probably didn't understand what was going on herself, or, was in heavy denial about it. It's just time for her to diversify the genetics of her progeny. Any further analysis you do on this will be pointless. It's not rational. It's like Spock needing to go to Vulcan every seven years or whatever. Logic does not apply.

 

Stay out of her business - no more checking up on her. And, once you're feeling a little better, date. There's a ton of beautiful intelligent kind women out there (who will also more than likely lose interest in you after 2-3 years, but, hey! Then you can meet somebody else...) And don't worry, this does seem to end once women get a little older, just as the hypersexuality of most men tends to diminish as they age.

 

So, chin up! Feel the freedom of some things being out of your control, including, this.

[Man with Dog]

Very well and cynically put! I've long believed that relationships are not so much "matters of the heart". I'm not saying that love cannot last beyond the 7-year-itch (also driven by biology but is more 5-9 years) but a lot of stuff is driven by biology. That's why I'm 100% sure that the drive to find/stay in a relationship is linked to the breeding instinct, even for those who "don't want kids". I'm sort of surprised at the 2-3 year figure. It seems common but I've never had a "medium term relationship" and wonder if I somehow missed out on an important part of growing up. I actually think it is possible to tell whether a relationship has promise within 3 months. One mistake I made was looking at ALL relationships as a means to find a marriage partner and not to enjoy for their own sake. Maybe if I'd have been more "traditional", I'd have had a few MTRs under my belt.

[cmpatable]

Update on the storm!

 

So about a week and a half ago my ex reached out to my best friend in order to congratulate him into getting accepted into PA school. (they have been pretty close since we started dating and have helped each other in their educational paths) My friend, knowing about her sleeping with the guy that caused us problems, gave her a really short answer. My ex immediately knew something was wrong and took a stab at my friend saying something along the lines of "I've done nothing to him to deserve such harsh reactions from all of our friends, I have been shut out from people I would never expect...all after he broke me down for months". My friend let her know that it got back to us about her sleeping with her coworker. She became defensive and said it was in a "respectable" time after we had broken up, and that me and her grew apart. My friend responded saying he completely disagrees with how she left the blame on me and put me through hell... when in reality she had her interests elsewhere. My friend left her with the last word, after stating it would be impossible to remain cordial, as she continued to defend herself.

 

Completely thankful for the good friends I have... this left her hurting as their friendship was really important to her... and I was okay with him confronting her because it happened pretty naturally without me intervening at all. My ex has no idea I was involved in this situation and I was able to remain NC with her. As far as she knows, I only know about her sleeping with her co-worker... she has no idea what my feelings are on it.. or if I even care enough at this point to have feelings.

 

This is where it get's interesting!! And I'd love some input on this. 4 days later after this all happened I get a text from my sister and buddy saying that my ex had tagged in them in an album on Facebook. I went to check out what she was talking about and come accross the strangest behavior ever. My ex after being inactive on social media for quite some time posts a bomb of 4 photo albums... containing over 300 pictures, quite a few including me, and some of me and her. The albums are thus..

 

1.) Her chicago trip I was supposed to go on. (Looks like she had fun)

2.) Her family trip I was supposed to go on. (Again looked like a great time)

3.) Our Miami Spring break. This album contains pictures of my family, our friends, and couple shots of just me and her? (This is where she tagged my sister)

4.) A random album containing pictures of our anniversary together, single shots of me on my birthday, shots of her on her birthday, and a bunch of randoms for her summer after the break .

 

How strange is that... If I were a dumper I would never in my life think to post pictures of my ex after we have been broken up and NC for two months? Especially if I have slept with someone else after the fact... tagging a family member of mine made it even more screwed up. Even tagging our mutual friends in a photo album all the way back from spring break that includes pictures of us when we were exclusive. It makes it look like we are still on good terms? What is she trying to prove by doing this... she HAD to have put some thought into this because it is a big effort to post as much as she did. I highly doubt no thought went through her mind while doing so... She is aware I no longer follow her on Facebook, but knows these would get back to me.

 

My thought is one of a few things

 

Throw a bread crum out and is starting to feel the weight of this all?

 

Make it seem as though she is on okay terms with me to our friends and has just moved on from everything. That the past is the past and these pictures are just that?

(She's friends with her co-worker and my family on facebook though so it is still very strange...)

 

She just is completely naive and just posted it all at once, or she just doesn't give a ? (Yeah, right)

 

 

 

I have actually been doing pretty good in my progression of healing (got a date coming up & generally have felt better) although even through all of this I still have a deep love for my ex. It is at least easier with the weight no longer on my shoulders... Seeing all these photo's hit me pretty hard emotionally because it was a lot to take in at once, but when you have the idea that everything is no longer your fault and your ex may be coming to some realisations it definitely helps in healing and being able to look forward. Who knows if she will try to reach out to me again... but at least I know if it were every to happen she will have to go through some serious self reflection to ever get the desired response out of me.

[Lucia Amman]

It maybe a glitch in the matrix!