How to get over a verbally abusive relationship?

[sailsup555]

I am just having a wake up call of being in a verbally abusive relationship. I constantly blamed myself felt so belittled. Last straw was this past weekend i had to go to the hospital for have a bad reaction to medication which could have even killed me and all he did was yell at me for how the medicine made me act (really out of it like i was drunk, slurring, bad state of mind) didnt even ask me how i was feeling. Since then hes said are you **tarded or just plain stupid (bc i texted him when he was at work) and to stop f***ing texting him. Two weeks ago he said i have no motivation that he doesnt care about me, months ago said im like a dog he doesnt love me. Then when he drinks hes very sweet and nice (played me for a fool). My friends and family have been begging me to get out of it, my father is furious. I honestly never saw it till today. I always thought i was doing something wrong. Im really worried he is going to repeat bad things about me too (we have mutual friends) and i stupidly told him things a mutual friend said about him which he got mad about and said she was a liar (things like girls hes been with and that he had an STD), which now im guessing she was telling the truth. I dont want him creating trouble with these mutual friends either because of my ignorance. I dont even know how to fully get out of it and im scared about what hes going to do (not worried physically just more reputation wise and causing fights with me and my friends) i feel so dumb like i was literally under his spell and made such a pathetic mess of myself. today is really the first day i am starting to think its him not me. i woke up feeling worthless until he sent me the latest text asking if im stupid which finally like hit a lightbulb in my head. has anyone been in this situation and how do i feel better about it?

[Starseed98]

You will never feel better about any of this if you are still in it.

 

Get out now. That type of behaviour is irreparable. I know because I have been there. I am so much happier now and so much more confident in myself.

 

Do not worry about reputation or friends.

 

Your true friends will have your back.

[Hollyj]

Please get some counseling to understand why you were with this guy.

 

I would also assume that your friends know what kind of guy he is, and will not take him seriously.

 

Remember, a relationship should never make you feel less than.

 

Gad you're out.

[ParisPaulette]

That's horrible, now that you're out of there stay out. You feel better frankly by leaving the abuser and rallying your family and friends to your side by letting them know what's going on. And yes, I left an emotionally abusive man at one point after he finally, finally lashed out and hit me physically. It was the final straw, but before that he pretty much sucked all of my self-esteem and respect and life out of me leaving me scared to so much as even glance in another guy's direction or voice any sort of opinion. It was awful.

 

We had mutual friends too, but I told them all before he even knew we were broken up what was going on. Nothing dramatic, just I picked up the phone and called anyone who really mattered, who I had not seen exhibit similar behaviors to my ex, and and calmly explained why he wasn't to be trusted, that I was leaving him over X, Y and Z and that they needed to understand he'd likely try to justify his actions. But it didn't matter, because I was done. Most rallied to me and those that didn't I ended the friendship with there on the spot.

 

And if you can't handle any of that call your family and see if they can come and get you and you disappear for a time until you're strong enough to take a stand. Do whatever it takes to get free. Also understand at some point he'll likely change his tactics and apologize and act all sweet and maybe even cry and sob and beg you back. And you'll be really smart if you understand something called the cycle of abuse and can fully understand what's going on there. And not go back.link removed

 

You're this far out now, why slow down or look back or linger? Get out of there and get away. Your life can always be rebuilt, friends can be replaced if it comes to that, if you've got texts from him name-calling then he's the one who has already damaged his own reputation, and you have solid evidence you can show friends, family and yes even police or attorneys if it comes to that as to why you have left this guy. Keep going.