Meet up ex GF

[Herderp]

We'd broken up three months ago after 2.5yrs of dating.

 

She was "the one" for me, but in retrospect, I f'd up immaturely and preformed poor in our relationship.

There are two sides, of corse, but really all that I did was care for the relationship but never fully went for it due to insecurities and what not.

Eventually she got tired of my behavior I guess.. Small synopsis:

 

Met her six years ago. Most beautiful girl ever seen. Way out of my league. Running into each other every year at the same event. Started talking and started dating 2.5yrs back.

I was in total bliss and it felt really good right from the start. We both wanted each other badly. After a year of intense dating I started to think long-term and more serious.

She is very high standard and classy, yet the 'weird' type of girl from a rich family. Picture perfect to me. I'm the exact opposite, from a broken family, poverty and with low standards.

I thought our standards did not met in the long run. It was subconsciousness but started to behave like it. Now I look back, very immature behavior.

 

I lacked the right (amount) of attention towards her. Let her believe she wasn't "special" for me. Fooling around and generally not really paying attention.

Went my own way sort of, we both had our own lives. We dated a lot. Always dine together, went to parties and such. We were in fact a perfect couple with no real drama or big problems, I was thinking.

 

Second year i went on a big roadtrip for a couple of months. When i got back, we talked much about how we'd missed each other. The vibe wasn't the same anymore and i noticed distance. It was really weird and started to act needy over time. Went into jelly mode for no reason. She drifted away from me, but couldn't do a thing and started to act desperate. Things at home went really bad. No job, no monies, almost kicked out of my house, very very baaaad things i was afraid of losing. By the end of the relationship. Girlfriend was almost main prio for me. Bad mistake, i should have been focussing on my own life and had to deal with my own stuff. Behave like a man instead of a childish fool.

 

Eventually she broke up with me. She came to me for two times to brake it off. First a bit of knowledge sharing, later on to go for the final kill. I was devastated. But i had to move on. I was really really really pissed off about myself. Everything went crazy and i couldn't talk to her anymore. I saw her on a festival. We started talking. Talking went into begging. She refused. I apologized and she agreed. We were best buddies for a long time, but it was over.

 

Via IM she wanted to talk stuff trough. Also something bad happened to someone we knew. I just froze and got my amygdala hijacked. It was pure adrenaline and obsessing minds all the time. I just couldn't deal with it. She was kinda maddish about me refusing contact. After a couple of weeks i asked about her. She said she felt lonely, things were going bad in her personal life, random stuff.. Stil no real talking tho.

 

I asked her out to meet to have a nice chat and also to get my stuff back. For a few weeks it went from procrastinating and low contact into "Okay! Tomorrow is fine " to "You wasn't there for me". And so i called for clearance. It was kinda a flash-call with my new phone number. She picked up, i was cheerfull, she started crying. That's three weeks ago. I was like .

 

But okay, could be a shockfactor. She said she needed some time. After the call she started acting vague. She gave me her phone number on FB whilst i just called her ?) She'd sent pics of us from the beginning. No real communication tho. Just random words.

 

I still feel very jilted and those feelings are almost impossible to live with. I mean.. After the break i got a new job. Could not focus on it. I was mad at every party i went to, really craving for a sign on her part to start talking again. It never came and just went nuts the entire time.

 

Tomorrow we'll meet. I think. Maybe she will call me in a moment to cut it off. I think she was okay with the break.. She always replies nice and calm. I was very f'd about it. I still am after three months, but personally, for my own good, i think i handled just fine. No contact, no issues, just go on with the life, meet people.. Eventually, you will feel better.

 

Tomorrow is the big meetup to get some stuff back and maybe chat a bit.

 

I really really really really want her back so damn much, but i need to resist the urge to beg or plead. It is not the way to go. I want to be happy with myself first, the one she fell in love with. The awesome guy.

Although.. I think i will meet a very very very cold lady to talk with, who is already gettin laid by a much more awesome dude. Which should be fine by me, i guess.. So i won't mention the break, i won't mention the relationship. I want to be there and show myself to her like i'm in charge of my life again and i am living it to the max, which is true, and i do feel better. Hell yess!!

 

Show her (not tell her) that i'd learned from my mistakes, that i can do better. But will I, in the end? It's very confusing, but i really need this confrontation. It's also to get my stuff back so yeah..

Better make a good impression and see how it goes.

 

In reality i think i have 0,01% chance of getting her back. I want her back. But it ain't reallity. Maybe there is moar......

 

So any tips, anyone??

[kbbcoop77]

If she's already seeing someone else and it's been only 3 months..perhaps you should have someone else get the stuff back. I can see this being a major setback for you because the odds of her falling into your arms and begging for reconciliation is virtually zero. You're way too hung up on her still..every contact especially in person is rough. If you don't share kids (which you dont) my advice is don't put yourself through it, go absolute no contact and forget the meeting. Just my .02 cents

[TMifune]

You will learn from your mistakes if you want to learn from your mistakes

You will do better if you really want to do better.

 

Drop the bullcrap and just speak honestly, but be willing to bear the price of rejection.

[Herderp]

You will learn from your mistakes if you want to learn from your mistakes

You will do better if you really want to do better.

 

Drop the bullcrap and just speak honestly, but be willing to bear the price of rejection.

 

In a nutcase, yes that is a fact, I think she is also dealing with the break since her vague interaction. But that does not mean anything.

I'm seeing this as an opportunity to reconnect and just see how it goes. I do not know if she has someone, I just picture it in my mind, just to be cool with it.

I have to face the reality, not dwell in fantasy in what we once had. Chill out, make it a fun time tomorrow.

 

Just be real.

[Herderp]

Maybe it will be a setback, maybe there is more to come, maybe I don't care. Meeting was nice. Little bit of tension. Avoidance about breakup or relationship issues. Didn't talk about it. Maybe some references via metaphors. Also no plans for future us. But there was tension and a willing to commit to do something epic together. Like some crazy event. Maybe it was just me, maybe she felt the same but wouldn't be a smart move. Tension about "dating". We'd never mention it literally, but who has F'd already was a real deal? She did not mention another guy. She did in fact talked about post events and future plans about going some where, i feel there is a correlation between them involving another guy.

 

She had missed me, that's for sure. Maintaining eye contact was difficult, body language was positieve. It was nice seeing her and talked to her again. She gave me pics I wanted. But it wasn't the big package, rather a small selection. No nudies either. We couldn't get it fixed, so it opened a door for me to mention another meetup where she replied positively. About rather sooner than later. Me saying "I have to go now." shocked her in a brief moment. I said goodbye, she wanted a hug. She smelled nice. Meh.

 

I paid for the lunch, mentioned the price, she demanded to split costs. I said it was okay and to make it up later. Not a real great move, but then again. I do not experience any kind of care in this one.

There was some testing on her account, little bit of small touch, acting playful and such. I was just utterly relaxed and just nice the way it was.

 

A lot of maybe, a lot of analyzing.

 

Maybe it was a setback, maybe i've generated hope again. Feelings came back, but can live with it. There is no obsessing. I think I wanna try to rekindle slow going and try to maintain contact. Be open about stuff..

We'll see how it goes, i'm not in a hurry, do not wanna play games but also not wanna go full retard. We, as she is willing to do that, have to rebuild trust and commitment. If ever that's feasible..