kasop Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 I've been posting here for a few weeks now. After my breakup I decided to really search myself and figure out what my problems are. I spend hours a day reading about relationships, dependency, self boundaries, and other peoples stories. I think I might start a journal here. I've discovered my codependency come from my childhood and past relationships. I was also alone and depresses for a long time and ended up in a year long pseudo relationship. I never worked on myself after she was gone. Another girl walked into my life and I still had compressed baggage that I dumped onto her. She also had her list of personal problems and I was no help. I'm learning to let go of regret and not be so hard on myself. My self esteem has really taken a hard shot here. I see now all the things I did wrong. At the time I was so blinded with obsession and codependency. In a way I'm happy this happened because that relationship could of manifested into something way worst. It only lasted 2 months tho. I ask myself why it hurts so bad if we were only together for 2 months. I reacted off instincts and beged her back for weeks. Which only ended up pushing her away. I see my mistakes now and I'm upset I've let myself come to this. Its been a month since are break and wish I could talk to her and address the problems we had Cuz I'm scared she will do it all over again. But I know she won't listen to me know that I acted so desperate after our break up. I'm in nc again and I'm sticking to it. Its hard to talk about all this to friends and typing it all into words really help. That why I think I should start a journal. Any advise from you guys would be great. Link to comment
mhowe Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Ask the mods to put this in the journal section and then you won't have to keep starting new threads and everyone can follow your story. Link to comment
Draven8 Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 I done the reading thing a lot too. Then I got to a stage and realised I was keeping the problems alive by searching for an answer. Eventually I stopped looking for answers and realised there was none. There also was no questions. It was all in my head. Link to comment
kasop Posted May 13, 2015 Author Share Posted May 13, 2015 Your saying I should give up and go about my life like none of these issues exist? I find this hard to believe Link to comment
mhowe Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Your saying I should give up and go about my life like none of these issues exist? I find this hard to believe Not all advice on here will resonate with you. I think that your journey of discovery will be very beneficial to you and the health of future relationships. Link to comment
Draven8 Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Your saying I should give up and go about my life like none of these issues exist? I find this hard to believe No the complete opposite. Accept that the issues exist. I don't suggest that you don't look into the issues but after that accept them. Take action and move on. Don't look for an answer that will automatically change everything to the way they should be. Things are the way they should be. You are exactly how you are meant to be just now. You cant be anything else. Everyone goes through the journey you cant avoid it. I am suggesting you concentrate on change and let the negative stuff go. Its in the past. By directing energy into what happened it keeps it alive. You could be using that same energy to grow into that super hero you want to be. Link to comment
kasop Posted May 13, 2015 Author Share Posted May 13, 2015 Okie I understand a little better now. Thank you for the insight. I need not to dwell on the past. Tho I've been hearing this term a lot. "Journey". How would you explain your journey? Are we using it as a synonym for "life"? Link to comment
mhowe Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Journey is your path in life. Life is a given....journey is progress. Link to comment
kasop Posted May 13, 2015 Author Share Posted May 13, 2015 I understand.. Thank you.. I'll be on to a journal soon. Link to comment
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