NoComply Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 im gonna start by saying, sorry this is very long... please read it though, i would greatly appreciate any help you can give me.. ^_^ thanx in advance... ok, i have a few questions about this girl i like. were both the same age and go to the same college. shes in 1 of my classes and have only been in college for just over a term now. i first talked to her at the sort of test week back at the start of the summer holidays. where you go to the college for a week to get an impression of it. then when she was in my class after the holidays i was like"hey, its u" and she did mention that i was the only person she remembered from the test week thing. i sat on a table facing the front of the class and she sat on 1 facing the side wall, tables are all kinda weirdly set up. i didnt sit with her cos i saw some1 from my old school first, and only noticed her when i looked round the others in the room, she was only sat about 1/2 a meter away so it was easy to talk to her, and she was facing me, well, the table was. about half the way through the term our table was removed so i sat at the other end of the room, so we sort of stopped talking, i left the room at the same tiem, or tried to, so that i could walk out of college with her and talk to her more, this has no stopped as its alot harder 2 leave at the same time, and ive got more friendly with the dude i sit with so it would be rude to walk off wile hes talkin to me. 2 weeks ago, i thought id watch her leave the room as the dude was talking to me, and as she was walking out the door she looked back at me so i just smiled. the next week i hardly talked to her at all, as i didnt get much of a chance, the odd "hi" as she came out of college as she passed was about it. she came on msn that night and i sort of said sorry for hardly talking to her that week, and got the reply "oh, didnt really notice". this week i talked to her a bit more, she knew some1 who i was talking to outside of college and came over, so i managed to talk to her for a wile then, but she went off somewhere about 10 mins later. the bit that confuses me is that she doesnt really attempt to talk to me outside of the lesson, but i catch her glancing my way during the lessons sometimes, hardly ever make direct eye contact, but everytime i turn my head in her direction [can see her out the corner of my eye when looking at the board] her head quickly turns back to the front of the class. i look away quickly if she catches me looking at her aswell though. i keep comenting on things that she has mentioned in the past, like how certain things are goin that she was worried about, and stuff to do with work and her job. we are currently just aquaintances, and she doe not make alot of effort to get to know me more, she seems alot more talkative and relaxed around her friends that she hangs around with so im a little confused about that. she seems slighty shy around me. would like to get to know her more and get her to be more relaxed around me, which is the main problem i think. i like her, alot, and would be insanely thrilled if i found out she liked me aswell, but i would be happy just being her friend, more than an aquaintance. sorry for making this post crazily long and probobly boring, but when i just type whatever im currently thinking ^_^ any help you could give would be greatly appreciated here. Link to comment
sisterlynch Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 I would say that you are barking at the right sort of tree if it is taking her a while to get to know you and you are getting more comfortable with her each time you talk, etc... Why not just ask her out to a coffee house or something and make some time to get to know her an a less ( or more, I guess) than casual basis. I have a feeling that you'd be very happy and surprised by how much more you like her when it is just the two of you. Link to comment
NoComply Posted January 25, 2005 Author Share Posted January 25, 2005 ok, ill find a way 2 try that, altho after form yesterday we were both just stood outside waiting for each of our groups of friends 2 come out and she didnt seem all that keane to talk, so i said something along the lines of "just goin 2 c where a mate is" and wandered off, as i didnt want to seem to creepy just stood there. the foolish thing was wandering back a few mins later after not finding my mates, as i was back to standing there. she knew who 1 of my mates was and said "aint he in room blahblah" and i was like "oh, yeah, oops". so that came accross as me being insanely stupid. on the plus side our teacher wasnt there so we just had work 2 get on with, so we talked for most of the lesson, well, she talked mostly, to a friend sat next 2 her, and i just included myself, talked a bit but mainly let her talk and just listened. ill try your coffee shop thing sometimes this week, she goes home at lunch on fridays where as i have another 2 or so lessons, so i could try and walk out of college with her than and attempt to tag along with her and her friends. any suggestions? lol ^_^ and sorry if that was typed really badly or hard to understand, insanely tired again tonight. Link to comment
Timbits Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 The coffee shop is a very good idea for initiating subsequent dates. Think about it. Having coffee is some casual and informal. You don't even have to consider it a date but rather a chance meeting of 2 strangers enjoying a casual conversation. The obvious advantage is that the length of the date is totally up to both of you. If you two enjoy each other's company then a second date should be in order. On the other hand, if you feel that the person is not someone you see yourself in a relationship with, then you arent forced to go through an entire meal/movie with the person. The coffee house excursion could take 30 mins or 3 hours; it's totally up to both of you. If you find the person interesting, then dont part without offering to go out again or at least get their email/tel. Link to comment
NoComply Posted February 8, 2005 Author Share Posted February 8, 2005 have her e-mail, but she hardly ever uses it... and i dont think the coffee shop thing will work, she will talk to me , but when her friends come over she will continue to talk to me for a bit, finish the conversation and then start talking to her friends.... and we havnt really talked very much the last month. also when i do get the chance to talk to her the conversation keeps hitting those aweful patches of silence where no1 talks, from what i kno about her from actually being able chat 2 her and talking to her on msn [where patches of silence arnt as bad she seems a very nice/cool/great person. its just,.. the conversations never really go anywhere and i find it incredibly hard keeping the conversation going when i do talk to her. what confuses me is that i think she may 'like me' slightly, even if it is just slightly, because she looks at me from time to time in class, i catch her looking in my direction at break when everyone is stood outside just talking, and ... was talking to her today after a lesson, then one of her friends came out so we chatted 4 a bit till the convo kinda changed and i got dragged down to the gates by some friends lol. i kept looking up slightly past her so not 2 make anything obvious and i could see her look at me, then her friend would, then her friend would smile, laugh a bit, they'd both look away, nd they sort of kept doing that for a wile despite the fact i wasnt even looking in there direction anymore [a mate told me they were 4 me that probobly sounds kind of sad and lame so ill stop talking again now.... any help from anyone would be good. thanx..... o_0 Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 End this conflict and ask her out man, that is the only way you will truly know. Man up. Link to comment
Alabama Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 I would say there is no effort you really need to make. If she barely talks to you, and didn't notice on MSN you guys not talking, then she has no interest at all. I would say if it's been already a few months and your still acquitances, then there's no luck. Sorry. Link to comment
aberdeenhjetman Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 like what's been said above. you've gotta do something other wise you'll stay acquitances. try asking her and her mates go to sumwhere with yours that way you wont be rally in her face all the time but will still get to chat. good luck Link to comment
Queen_Midas Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 She sounds like me. If this is the case, then she is shy and you need to make a BIT more effort with her and yes just ask her casually out.. not like a date, but just 2 friends getting to know each other.. However be aware that the "oh I didn't notice" and lack of effort could also be signs that she isn't really interested.. I could reason both way.. but the mere fact she does exactly what I do suggests to me she is interested. Good luck, let us know how it goes, Qm. Link to comment
NoComply Posted May 7, 2007 Author Share Posted May 7, 2007 just been reading back through some old posts of mine. thought id just clear this thread up. never ended up going out with this girl or anything. ended up not having any romantic feelings towards her. but about a year after this we became pretty close friends for a while. now shes at uni and i dont see her very often. Link to comment
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