Sextually assaulted

[Sexychiick16]

I was hanging with one of my bestfriends and 2 other dudes .. We had been drinking and i had like between 1-10 beers...I had a few shots of 151...So i felt drunk pretty much. The thing is i NEVER Black out when i drink...And usually its something like Jose Quervo or Crown Royal...But even off of Everclear..I never blacked out

 

Thats what scares me...I guess i wanted to be a little more intense with one guy there...I knew him from school and by my So called bestfriend. She left without even telling me and if she was to be telling me than i dont remember. I guess what happened was i did was to give him oral and make out and pretty much terms of "messing around"..

 

I remember saying take it out it hurts to much and kept on saying that. And he ended up doing it still "i think"...Because i did give What i thought was my Crush...A kiss and some oral pleasure ...I woke up and this guy told me i did it to both of them and stuff went down that i wasn't awake for.

 

I had stopped breathing so i guess they had to put me in my shower and take off my shirts and bra...Which scares me b/c i dont remember even volmitting. They took things farther than expected and i think i was drugged without my awareness...

 

When i woke up my pants were torn in the back and i was topless...I woke up next to the guy i liked so i wasn't really that scared..Until i realized my backside was hurting....I know i couldn;t of let him do that to me and i felt very vilolated...On top of that i thought i could trust...My so called bestfriend left me there to be assualted while intoxicated and may be even drugged...

 

I feel scared alone and discusted on both mine and these guys actions...I have told my mom and now the law is involved...I feel like i need to drop charges since i really don't want to get these guys in trouble. It sounds so bad on my part b/c i know i didnt exactly say No but i didnt exactly say yes since i was unconcience...So now im wonder

 

Should i drop charges? Im physically fine now..Its been like 4 or 5 days and im not hurting anymore and i feel normal...The only thing is I was a virgin until that night...

 

My so called bestfriend told the other bestfriend and i think there are rumors going on in school...I received a text message saying did i have fun W**** and umm...some other hurtful things...Im going to be switching schools and seeking counceling..

 

My cousin and older bro wants to kill both of the boys now and i feel like they shouldnt be killed...And im serious someone else i know is talking to a hit man and i dont want all of that to happened.. I actually wasnt even going to tell anyone but then my mom told my father who wasnt at all happy either

 

Everyone i have told wants them dead..So I dont know what to do...Detectives are supose to be coming to my house to talk to me and i really dont know what to do...Is this out of my hands or can i drop charges?

[PrincessLinzay]

No, you should most certainly not drop charges against these boys. The physical effects may have worn off now, but I assure you the mental effects are just taking awhile to kick in.

 

In order for sex to be consensual, all parties have to agree, kind of hard to do when you're unconscious! They violated you, and if they get away with it, just imagine what some other girl will suffer.

 

Rape is rape, pure and simple hun. My heart goes out to you. This was a traumatic experience, it will take a long time to get over. This is not your fault, and those boys deserve to be punished for what they did. They knew it was wrong! Don't forget that important fact.

 

PM me if you need someone to talk to!

[slw1]

Do NOT drop charges. You were raped. Dont let them get away with it.

[PrincessLinzay]

PS. I just thought of something else.

 

Im not sure about the legality of it, but Im pretty sure you wouldn't be able to drop the charges even if you wanted to. I think it becomes up to your parents at this point because you're a minor. I could be wrong, but as with stat. rape, the parents can press charges with or without you.

[cleverme123]

These boys date raped you and if you drop charges they will do it again. If you were unconscious you were taken advantage of and whether you feel responsible for their actions they made the choice to violate you. They need punished now or they will continue to do it to other people.

[mgirl]

You said "take it out, it hurts", so to me, that means "no". Apart from that, you were probably drugged (it sounds like that to me), so you had no say in the matter anyway, and thereforeeee you had sex without your own consent.

 

I am glad you have taken it further because you will regret it later if you don't. Not only did these guys rape you vaginally, but it sounds like they did anally as well, and that is disgusting. When i was 11, a guy tried to do the same thing to me, but thankfully he listened when i said "no". I too, had a crush on him and just wanted his love and approval.

 

I don't think your brother and cousins will really do anything to hurt these guys... i think they are all talk. I guess what i take from all this is that you have people around you that care about you and that is a lovely thing. If anybody layed a hand on my brother or sisters, i would probably do the same thing (or on anybody i cared about for that matter).

 

Take care of yourself and get counselling if you can. You will realise not all guys are like this, but just be careful next time you go to a party. In fact, i would stop going to parties if i were you.

 

In some ways, this may turn your life around in directions you have never considered. Just think, now you know who your real friends are and you can spend time making friends with people who really are your friend, rather than with those who drag you down or leave you at parties.

 

Take care,

 

mgirl

[Sexychiick16]

I don't get what everyone is saying really...Right now im feeling fine and all physical harm is gone..When it comes to the pain and everything...

 

The emotional problems are just kicking in or something but right now i feel fine...I guess a detective is coming to talk to me..But i dont really know how to behave towards it all...

 

I feel as if i can't face my old school b/c people talk...And before all of this happened i had 2 bestfriend and they stabbed me in my back...Its like i have been dis owned and the rest of my friends are guys..2 of my guy friend deffinetly betrayed me by crossing the line...

 

Rape is such a scary word and i feel as if its not rape...I dont know why but i just feel like it was my fault b/c i put myself in that possition.By not getting up and getting my own beer out of the fridge , having someone i thought i could trust bring it back to be opened and not drugged...

 

Thats where my emotions kick in...How can some one be so mean..So Predetorial...I hate myself because of this and my dreams are all about friends now. That i don't think i have anymore.

 

The friends i have at school i get messages from asking me why im not there...Or from my 2 so called bestfriends who Leave hate messages...

It hurt and its easy to hide my feelings. My mom and my dad do not live together and are devorced so in all means i have been coming to my moms place since than...

 

My dad feels hurt just as much im sure...But my mother went through with this stuff when she was my age i guess...She told me that she didn't have nearly as much guts that i have. The point is...

 

I really don't know the point..i feel like i have hurt everyone ! I feel like im looked down and i can not be trusted. Lastnight my friend who is a guy wanted tot ake me out and i told him no. I asked afterwards and my dad said no anyways.

 

So i guess im just going to be home or at my moms. What a life?

[cleverme123]

Yes you chose to engage in drinking. Did you choose to engage in sex, and even if you did, did you tell someone to stop as you said? If the answer is yes, that is rape. Any time you tell someone no and they continue it constitutes rape. If you were unconscious at some point you were literally a breathing unconscious sex toy. No matter what you did, you were violated. You need to tell the cops and you need to tell the truth.

 

Guilt always happensa after sexual assault. You may be responisble for being in the wrong place at the wrong time but nothing justifies what your so called friends and those guys did to you.

[Sexychiick16]

hey everyone thanks for being understanding and trying to help me...I guess this is something that will just take time to sink in to....I know that i will just have to deal with it..and those predetors will just have to deal with the consequences of their actions

[Bjourne]

What you are feeling are roughly the same as any other rape victim. You did absolutely nothing wrong and I hope you will be able to stop accusing yourself. I urge you to not drop charges, these guys are scum and deserve to rot in jail. If I were your brother they would be dead.

[Sexychiick16]

believe me I have a brother and he is holding himself back for the time being...But Yes him and my cousin would like to Kill these guys...The thing is my bro had them in class...

 

My uncle wants to kill them too...I dont wish death on anybody Not Even them and because i was brough up to FoRgIvE no matter what...Its hard to ya know? Its hard to even forgive myself for being there at the moment. I could have been nice and snug warm in my bed at my home where nobody could get me SoBER minded...So yesss

 

I take partcially FAULT in what has happened...I believe I DID dis obey my fathers wishes...I believe that they will get theres one way or another and i dont know how i am going to act later on but right now im feeling just a little bit worse , Im blaming myself just a little bit less but im still taking some responsibitly on myself...

 

I dont know what will be happeneding to these guys ... Im scared in a way to stand up infront of a jury in a room full of people in court but if that is what needs to be done than All I hOpe For IS JUSTICE BE SERVED...