Lindsaycaper Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 There's this guy that I've been knowing close to two years now. Recently we've started talking a lot and being very flirty with eachother. We send eachother pics through out the day. Like just silly pics or pics of our face. We've never really been close throughout the years that we've known eachother. We tried dating like going on dates but we didn't get along. In fact, we actually despised eachother at one point. It felt like we rushed things before. I would message him and he would literally ignore me!! For months I ignored him like he didn't exist and eventually he would try everything to get my attention literally everyday. We ended up talking. Now that I'm actually getting to know him, I'm seeing that he's very sweet and very funny. We bond over different things and it's just like we have a bond that is indescribable and that no one else would get. We were talking one night and he told me how he doesn't like to be affectionate and doesn't like kissing. So I asked him to kiss me in a joking manner. He actually did kiss me. I realized after we kissed that I do care a lot about him. Like more than anyone I've ever cared about. When I went home that night I sent him a message saying that I don't mind being in contact with him again but I'd prefer we keep it to ourselves because last time we didn't get along because too many mutual friends got involved. He agreed. I get confused as to what he wants from me. Sometimes I feel like I'm bothering him im when I message him because he takes long to not only respond but even read it. He has like 3 jobs so he's very busy all of the time. I try to remind myself of this but still it bugs me. Theres been a few times where he would read my message and not respond. When that happens I usually take a step back because I feel like I'm bugging him. Usually when I do that he will message me on his own like a pic of himself or something and it'll make me think like maybe I'm just being crazy and I'm not bugging him at all. One of my main concerns is that I don't want to be friend zoned. Sometimes I think maybe he just sees me as a friend but then certain things happen that make me think otherwise. Like he called me "baby" a few days ago. Another day he sent me a blank message and I didn't respond but when I saw him and asked him why he said "I just wanted to send you something. Is that not okay?". Some days when we see eachother he stares at me nonstop. I'm confused as to what direction we are going in actually. I'd like a relationship. I have very strong feelings for him. Close friends have told me that I should just continue to build a friendship with him and that we would have a stronger relationship if we were friends first. I have this uneasy feeling though that we will continue to be friends and that's all. I know he knows I have feelings for him because I had strong feelings for him when we tried dating the first time. Am I being crazy? Is taking it slow good? Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Keep building a stronger friendship with him? That sounds like "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results" to me. I think you'd do better to do one or two things: 1. Tell him that you're developing romantic feelings for him again and see how he feels. If he feels the same then get on with seeing if you can be romantic together without ending up "despising" one another again. or... 2. Stop playing this game you're playing with him and go zero contact if he doesn't feel the same way as you do so that you can get over your crush, this addiction you have of him stringing you along through life and find someone that actually wants to be with you in a romantic sense. Currently, what you're doing (and in my opinion) you are wasting your good emotions(and dating time) on someone that is enjoying your attention but doesn't seem to be wanting much more... A conversation with him will prove me right or wrong there. Link to comment
Lindsaycaper Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 Yeah I've went no contact with him before for about 4 months and he harassed me everyday and when we finally had a talk he gave explanations as to why he acted the way he did before which is why we are speaking again Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 ... and here he is again... wash, rinse, repeat. Have a candid conversation with him and if he's not going to stop having so much busy time at work that he can't nurture anything of REAL substance with you, if he doesn't want to give you what you need from him (a boyfriend, not a friendship) then please, do yourself a favor and quit stagnating yourself in his superficial crumb-giving. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 ... and here he is again... wash, rinse, repeat. Have a candid conversation with him and if he's not going to stop having so much busy time at work that he can't nurture anything of REAL substance with you, if he doesn't want to give you what you need from him (a boyfriend, not a friendship) then please, do yourself a favor and quit stagnating yourself in his superficial crumb-giving. There's your answer OP. People treat you the way you train them to. Link to comment
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