allowishus Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 My ex and I broke up 8 months ago. We had a fight and sort of agreed that we should break up. A couple of months ago, he introduced his new gf to our friends. He told one friend that he's happy and that he's comfortable with their "no commitment" relationship. When we were together, we were almost like a married couple since all of our friends are all married. I still love him and want him back. Recently, I received an email from his girlfriend asking me to stay away from him. I have never attempted to contact him at all, but was surprised by the accusation. I told him about it and he told me that he's been hearing rumors about her and that people have been trying to break them up. I forwarded all the emails to him that I got...he then sent me an email saying he confronted his gf and that she didn't send me those emails. And because of this disturbing events, he asked me to block the email address and that he will block my email address from his, as well. I am deeply offended by this. I don't know what to do? Need advice if I should just give him up completely. Link to comment
lady00 Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 He has a new gf so there is no point in trying to win him back...you will only get hurt in the process. He doesn't seem to want to break up with his gf so you should try to move on. Link to comment
ajk Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 so he said that it didn't come from her email account? or do you not know? did someone create an account and write as if they were her? if so, why would he block your email? you just let him know what was happening... why did he say he'd block your email? Link to comment
Mun Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 I think you really have no choice here but to walk away. There is no point in trying to "win" him back, he doesn't want to come back. He has someone new. I'm sorry because I know this hurts you, but the only dignified thing to do is leave them alone. We are here if you need encouragement. Chin up! Link to comment
Celadon Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Allowishus, sorry to hear you're being falsely accused of something. That's just not right and you have every right to feel offended. Although you could try to figure out what's going on, I'm going to agree with everyone here who says it's probably not worth it. Your ex and his new gf seem determined to stay together (even though it's "no commitment"), so unfortunately it's not really your place to try to get back with him. His actions have spoken as much, I'm sorry to say. You might take some comfort in knowing that if his new gf is manipulative, then it'll come back to bite her. There are always consequences to that kind of behavior. If it would make you feel better -- write your ex a note on how you feel about being wrongly accused, but don't send it! I would say, if you put it aside for awhile then come back to it and you STILL feel it's important to send it, do it at that point. Well, good luck, and do feel free to post here if you want to. Link to comment
allowishus Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 I really appreciate all the encouraging words. This has been bothering me for quite some time. I know that walking away and moving on with my life is what I needed to do. Having read your replies and knowing that I am not alone in this gives me the strength and the confidence to move on. I have been unable to talk to my friends about this because I know it's for the better, but telling them that I still do love him only angers them. I'm glad the somewhere out there, even strangers, can give you the comfort level that you need. Thanks so much. Link to comment
HajiMaji Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Awesome, cause youre not alone and your situation isnt the funnest right now. Just brave through it for a while and see where ya are in a few weeks. Im tellin ya, persistance is like magic. Somtimes you just gotta go cause the future is too hard to predict. Link to comment
Mix Maxster Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 Who really wants to have to just walk away? It's like "see ya" and you're left standing going "uhhhh wth? now what" and not knowing where to go. Truth is this, the guy is with someone so it's not even at all possible to just get him back. The thing about relationships is that there's USUALLY one person that always gets hurt during a break-up. Cept for mutual break-ups which don't happen often, but more times than not one person will get hurt. Usually the other person either, isn't happy with and in the relationship, doesn't know how to deal with the others behaviour/etc and weren't getting their needs met. Here's the thing, sometimes what they're hoping to get is extreme and they'll never be able to find it. They could realize this and remember the good times they had with us and THEN try to come back if it works. Eventually I'm SURE there will be a time when the dumper will feel regret, only after certain things happen. Like they got their hearts broken, or their needs still aren't being met, etc... Quite honestly most people should really move on from the life they had with their ex, but it's pretty hard to detach yourself from your life. Let's face it, people who have been in serious relationships has closed the world around them and everyone else is just a part of it. But once that world opens up again, they're left stranded not knowing what to do next because their beliefs are being disproved RIGHT infront of you. Everything you pictured, thought and imagined happening is NOW being torn apart and you're no longer sure what to think. But honestly in the end you'll be much better with handling things like this and a greater appreciation for things will rise. That's just my experience in all of this, but it could be different for everyone. Try to take it easy, and even if you moved on... who's to say that one day you two won't happen to meet up when you're both apart. It COULD happen, just don't count on it. Link to comment
detox5 Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 I think your at the top of your hurt, theres no way you can get anymore hurt then you already are, I feared my ex would be with someone and i found out she was, so I have nothing else to fear. One more thing, firstly how did your ex's gf get your email? and her chasing after you, lol your a "threat"! but why? you shouldnt even be in the picture but someone is pulling you in, I think the best hing you can do now is this, turn your world upside down from what it is, and be the most best and inspiring person the world has ever seen. theres not much you can do right now to get him back, so with that in mind. You dont need no one, your perfect, your really special, your the most beautiful woman and person this world has to offer. You are powerful and confident and nothing can stop you now, the only way is up. With this power and confidence, be what you can be and be the best what you can be, all your efforts will be rewarded. And you know what, when your at this peak and on top of the world, guess who might start taking an interest, does he really want to be with this girl that analysis everything and insecure about you all the time. Love picks people, its just not your turn right now, so be the best what you can be. I hope this is enough to make you rocket up thrhough the sky and show your ex and everyone else what your made up of and that you really dont need no one. Link to comment
Phoenix Down Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 I just want to say you have the right frame of mind. Keep you chin up. We're almost in the same boat, lets say maybe the same ocean. It took very long for me to reach the level your at now. Once they have someone else, it's best to show your strong and walk away. Dosn't mean you cant look back, just means keep to your road and in time things will get better. I wish you the best of luck. I just found out about my ex seeing someone else. Thats what I needed to move on. I'm happy I don't have to hang on anymore. The same will come for you. There are so many more options open out there for you. Go explore. Have fun, Find you again. The person you we're that was fine being without the other. And who knows, maybe he'll see one day down the road what he had and try to come running, and you can have your new man send an e-mail saying stay away. j/j No dont do that, thats childish. Let them make the mistakes, but look to the future. You can do anything. Phoenix Link to comment
allowishus Posted January 22, 2005 Author Share Posted January 22, 2005 I wondered about the same thing how she got a hold of my email address. He would be the only one who would have my contact information...but she denied that she didn't do it. I told him that I dont want to have anything to do with them...I am trying to move on and I'm being accused of something that I didn't do. I even got emails after that from her. But I just ignored them. I figured, she's gonna get tired eventually. I am hoping that someday he will come to realize what he lost and I am hoping that when that time comes, he's the one hurting from all of it. I know it's not right to even think that, but I think that he should at least have a feel of what I went through. Right? Link to comment
Mix Maxster Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 OOouch, that'll show him hehe i hope for the same thing, so i guess i'm just as bad. Link to comment
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