Avro1986 Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Hi everyone! I was with my ex-girlfriend for 3 months. During a fight, she told me that we should not talk to each other for 2 days because she felt that our differences were too great. In the past, she had made me feel guilty for things that I shouldn't have felt guilty (e.g. not wanting to see priest to confess my "sins", leaving a New Year party earlier because I didn't feel well...) by using sentences such as "I can't believe that you have done this to me!","The fact that you don't realize what you just did is beyond me!" or "It's a severe lack of social skills!". Hence, feeling manipulated, I became angry and said: "If you want to break up with me, do it! But remember: it's permanent!" She was baffled and said: "you're being disrespectful. I will hang up." Angrily, I hung up first and texted her: "I may make mistakes, but they are honest mistakes. I don't intend to hurt people. I know who I am: I am caring, honest, and loyal. If you're no longer interested, leave me alone!" She then replied are being emotional. You need to calm and become the man I fell in love with. Call me when you feel better." I called and we met two days later in a coffee shop where she broke up with me saying that I had scared her. She added that I had "anger triggers". I tried to explain my side of the story, but she wasn't interested. I gave up and said: "I accept your decision and wish you all the best." She looked at me surprised. As we walked out of the coffee shop, I said: "this is it. Thank you for the good memories." Then, she said I don't want you out of my life. I still want to be able to talk to you. I'll always love you." I said: "I can't be on the sidelines being your "friend" while you date/have sex other guys." She then started crying about being cheated, which she has been in the past. I fell for it and told her that we could work things out. She insisted in driving me home. In the car, I felt guilty and told her that I would work on myself (e.g. anger therapist because I do get very aggressive when people make me mad) and "do whatever it takes to remain together (big mistake)." We were apart for 6 weeks in total. I went on a vacation and asked her out 2 weeks after the break up. She agreed but cancelled at the last minute because of family problems. I said no problems. Two weeks later, she texted me saying that she going through a lot of family conflict, but would like to meet for coffee and chat xox. I sent her flowers for St-Valentine and she thanked me xox. She even called me "dear". A week later, I called and leave a message asking her out. No reply in 2 days. I texted asking her how everything was going, hoping that her situation was improving, and that I was there to listen if she wanted to talk She answered: "Thanks. I just need time to myself to figure things out." Correct me if I am wrong, doesn't it mean that she's keeping me on the back-burner while pursuing another guy? Anyways, I had enough and texted her: "I have been thinking about out relationship, and it has been 6 weeks. I can't wait any longer. Have a good life." That was 1 day ago. No answer. My question is: do you think that I made a good move? I mean, being in limbo is very exhausting. I am 28 and she is 25. We are both adults. Either you're in or out, no? Do you think that she might contact me back eventually? Thank you for your input and time! Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 She hadn't been interested since you tried to back out and she cried and you folded. She just wanted to keep you on the back burner. Move forward...not back. Link to comment
Avro1986 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 Hi mhowe, I am sorry, but I don't understand: "She hadn't been interested since you tried to back out". Thanks! Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Hi mhowe, I am sorry, but I don't understand: "She hadn't been interested since you tried to back out". Thanks! Your coffee shop chat where you told her to have a nice life...and then capitulated. Link to comment
Avro1986 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 Hi mhowe, Thank you for the quick reply. So, Did she lose interest when I capitulated after trying to explain myself and her refusing to listen? I think she was expecting me to beg... Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 She just wanted you to take her back so she could ignore and then dump you. Link to comment
shellyf62 Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 You have written about this issue before, under a different name maybe? Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 The reasons she got angry with you sound so juvenile. I actually thought you two were teenagers until you listed your ages. Three months is such a short amount of time, especially to have so much immature drama. I wouldn't bother trying to patch things up if it were me. Link to comment
Avro1986 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 I see. You're right. In fact, I was ready to break up over the phone, and this is why she baffled and wrote: "you need to calm down...Call me when you're ready to talk." Then, she breaks up. move. lol She has issues. Link to comment
Avro1986 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 @boltrun lol thanks! Yes, it was draining. Funny fact, she is a lawyer and only apologized 1-2 in all of our arguments. I am the sucker who kept apologizing. I think so: I mean , I admitted my share of responsibilities but not her. Link to comment
quattrob Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 TC, I really do feel and think you deserve a better girl than her. She is manipulative and selfish. She's one of those people who can't admit her wrongs and has this ego problem where she's always right and the best. You know all this deep down inside. The fact that she acted so surprised that you agreed to the breakup so easily shows you how much she cares about being the boss or the best, it hurt her ego that you didn't beg her to reconsider. And then her last ditch effort was to cry and make you feel guilty/bad and you cracked. She totally has no respect for you as a man, that is pretty obvious. Forget about her. This girl can find another pet to dominant. You deserve someone sweet and supportive, not this trash. Link to comment
Avro1986 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Share Posted March 25, 2015 Sorry for the late response. Thanks! I learned my lesson. I am kind and felt for it. Next time, I'll just walk away. I remember several other occasions when she said: "I'll stop arguing because you know absolutely nothing about what you are saying." Proves your point. Funny thing: she kept saying that it wasn't normal that her previous honeymoon phases lasted at least 12 months and not ours. Now I understand, the guys used her to have fun and had sex with her, but when they had enough of her ****, they simply dumped, cheated on her, or were physically abusive. I guess she'll never learn. There's no way that she'll attract and keep a loving boyfriend/husband. She'll attract trash. Now, I don't see myself as weak anymore. Rather, I was strong enough to open up and admit my faults. If she can't respect that, then she doesn't deserve to be respected by a man. Link to comment
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