pippy longstocking Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I don't often bump into exes because I have moved around a lot ... The city I live in now is the third time I have lived here ...and it was last time that I was with him . He is the one I have talked about most on here regarding abuse ...terrible abuse .. I had picked emily up to take her to the dentist , and as we walked along I just heard " Don't tell me that's Lesley and Emily" I span round and there he was ... My path has crossed his before ..it was 9/10 years ago that we broke up ..so I am fine in the respect that I saw him ... I didn't freeze on the spot and have flashbacks or feel fear or anything like that ( quite the opposite actually , no fear on my part ,I would have loved to have kicked him in the nuts so hard he'd be wearing them as earrings) I just said I had to go as we where running late and he was just stood saying wow about how much emily had grown .. she was 2 and a half to 6 years old when we where together ..she is 16 in a couple of weeks and not far off 6ft , so yeah I can imagine it was a shock haha .. He was wearing his collar ..he is a reverand doctor ..believe me , religion doesn't stop abuse , I just said the usual , yes hasnt she grown ,I have to go type of thing ..I had to stay level for the sake of emily because I knew there would be a million questions ....and there was .. " mam who is the vicar dude" was how it went .... I lied ... so this is my question and what is bothering me .. He was a part of emilys life .. and I now feel like I have done her an injustice by saying he was just someone I knew from years ago .. he did terrible things to me and I have never told emily ..it is not her burden to carry about that her mum was on the receiving end of domestic violence ..her head is already in bits about her father ( need to start a new thread re that) The one thing it did tell me though was this ..I don't believe children are oblivious to violence and abuse ..we might think they are tucked up in bed fast asleep while we are getting hit etc etc ..but they know ...but emily had no idea who he was ..nothing .... do you think I did the right thing just passing him off as someone I once knew? thankyou and blessings for your help . Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Of course you did Mama Tiger. She has no memory...and no need to know. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 Of course you did Mama Tiger. She has no memory...and no need to know. thankyou .....xxx Link to comment
YouCanDeleteThisAccount Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I personally see no value in explaining it to her. And I also think you did the right thing by not speaking to him very much. There is no way I would want to either bring back memories of an abusive person more than the situation already did, or unnecessarily introduce that dark history to your daughter if she isn't confused/curious about it. He's best left forgotten all together. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 I personally see no value in explaining it to her. And I also think you did the right thing by not speaking to him very much. There is no way I would want to either bring back memories of an abusive person more than the situation already did, or unnecessarily introduce that dark history to your daughter if she isn't confused/curious about it. He's best left forgotten all together. oh I am so glad you are all thinking the way I thought ...thankyou Link to comment
JA0371 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Yes ma'am ...you did the right thing. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 Yes ma'am ...you did the right thing. thankyou darling .. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 You were simply being a good mother by protecting your child. Well done, Star! Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 You were simply being a good mother by protecting your child. Well done, Star! bless you thankyou xxx Link to comment
Willywagtail Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I don't think there is any need at all for her to know who he really is. I mean really, why would you explain who he is? Inevitably, seeing someone like him brings up 'stuff', and having to explain just makes you think about him again. He doesn't deserve another second of your thoughts. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 I don't think there is any need at all for her to know who he really is. I mean really, why would you explain who he is? Inevitably, seeing someone like him brings up 'stuff', and having to explain just makes you think about him again. He doesn't deserve another second of your thoughts. no there is no reason to ...and in my experience gollum , I have found if you open one door , you end up opening another 25 just to explain how you got to said door in the first place ...and ems doesn't know that either ...I moved her on that occasion when I met the above man because the police and victim support helped me get away for our own safety from emilys dad ..she doesn't know that either .... she only got in touch with him two years ago and already he has blown her out ...and she is devastated ... I covered his ass , I didn't want her growing up thinking her own father was a monster ....and walked straight into that relationship *sigh* my mother used to say " how is it you manage to get yourself in these situations all the time " haha ..god knows , I used to say . So yeah back to the point ...which is ....thankyou .... there is no need , I think I just needed to hear you lot say it . Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Hahaha, nuts for earrings? I love it. (kidding, kidding, but love the imagery anyways. With the vicar collar it's even funnier somehow, but then I'm twisted like that anyways.) You done good, girl. And no need to tell Emily anything beyond what you did, which wasn't a lie. You did know him years ago. Otherwise she'd probably be wanting to get him a new set of earrings too. Our children don't need to know everything in our lives and frankly, there's no cause for concern. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 Hahaha, nuts for earrings? I love it. (kidding, kidding, but love the imagery anyways. With the vicar collar it's even funnier somehow, but then I'm twisted like that anyways.) You done good, girl. And no need to tell Emily anything beyond what you did, which wasn't a lie. You did know him years ago. Otherwise she'd probably be wanting to get him a new set of earrings too. Our children don't need to know everything in our lives and frankly, there's no cause for concern. hahahahahahahaha yeah I loved the imagery too pp hahahahaahhaahha I agree ...they dont need to know everything ... I have always thought that . thankyou xx Link to comment
mg22 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 No need to say anything ! you got your chance to meet this monster face to face and let that fear go ! Good for you !! Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 No need to say anything ! you got your chance to meet this monster face to face and let that fear go ! Good for you !! thankyou so much xxx Link to comment
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