HELP! Very short but Shocking situation

[Tanzi]

Why all the labels whether friends, married, engaged, divorced, separated what does it matter? I was married for years and never consummated it so what does that mean? what's the label for that?

 

I don't quite get this. They aren't labels. The are different situations. A friend is a friend. Your spouse is your spouse. You have a different relationship with both (well supposedly so).

 

So your marriage was never consummated? That doesn't sound like a proper marriage to me. In that case I guess it's understandable why you might have an issue with "labels" … but that isn't the norm. Why was your marriage never consummated?

 

So is it a case of your ex wanting to stay married friends whilst you whilst you would prefer to stay friends but unmarried? Were you ever together in a romantic way?

 

Sorry for all the questions, I'm just trying to understand your situation.

 

Everything in between DOES matter. It is life. There would be no point to it if it didn't matter. I think you will feel a whole lot better once this situation is sorted. It isn't so much the system that is adding pressure … it is your situation as a whole.

[Rihanna]

So is it a case of your ex wanting to stay married friends whilst you whilst you would prefer to stay friends but unmarried? Were you ever together in a romantic way?

 

i think I ruined a lot of things with my situation and now I have to start Divorce preceedings again! But I want to wait for a while I'm in no rush. Yes, I think you hit it right little blue your statement is exactly right! We weren't involved romantically no...

 

Life matters but when you've gone through so much you think of two things that matter in life: Happiness and Love. I've had a taste of both for a very short while but it's worth waiting for the moment it happens again so i won't settle for any less... yea I agree my situation sucks so much and though it's been a year it got worse not better especially with me having to withdraw my Divorce ... So, I want to remain separated single for a while but will it get too late to get a Divorce? Or should I just restart my Divorce and get it over and done with... Though I don't feel it's stopping my life. I'm confused and hurt and don't know what I want from life...

[kbbcoop77]

It really sounds to me like you may need some therapy. You sound pretty high strung and anxiety ridden. You need to calm down and focus, take some deep breaths and visualize where and how you see yourself in the next year or 2. You're running around like a spinning top not being able to rationalize your game plan. Just slow down..

[catfeeder]

I don't understand why you're turning this into a tragedy, or why you're sensing 'pressure' to do anything. Your birthday was not a 'bad' day, it was a right of passage that opened your eyes to half of the problem: forging is not a good thing. The other half of the problem is your assumption that you must wipe yourself clean of your marriage the way someone might flip out and try to wipe off a bug crawling on them.

 

ReLAx. Challenge your concerns and see if you can pipe down and liberate yourself from whatever is raising your blood pressure. It's in your head--and that's a decision you can change.

 

Head high.

[Tinydance]

So what was the reason you were married to someone you were not romantically involved or sexual with? Arranged marriage? Green card marriage? Just curious....Also sorry but if you don't like the advice you're getting, then don't post here asking for advice. People here told you the truth and just trying to make you aware of the danger of what you've done so that you don't get into legal trouble. And the only thanks you gave them is yelling at them. Anyway I'm not sure what exactly your marriage was but I just don't understand why you were legally married for many years to someone who was not in any sense your actual husband.

[chamachama]

You were married to this man and never consummated it with him? Does that mean that you never had sex with your husband?!

 

I would ask why you would marry someone who you're not intimate with. But the better question is why on earth would he subject himself to a life of celibacy with you?! Unless its for a green card, then that is just crazy. Sorry, but holy mother Mary Jesus God and all the freaking saints!! What the heck?! lol!!

 

If I were him, I would have been out the door WAAAAAAY before I married you. And if by some ridiculous reason I ended up married to you and we weren't jumping on each other DAILY, I would have divorced your butt with bells on and danced a merengue out the court doors lol

 

Sort of feel bad for the guy now. Marry's a woman who doesn't want him, then she forges his name on divorce papers. Someone buy that dude a drink...

[Tanzi]

Starting again is not as bad an ending to this situation as it could have been so, in that sense, you can relax now. And, no, there is no need to rush anything. I don't understand the rush. There really is no need to stress over how long it takes. It doesn't matter. You are putting too much emphasis on actually being divorced when it doesn't actually change anything … providing you both know where you stand, that is which I'm assuming your ex does. You can still start moving on with your lives whilst the divorce proceedings travel at their own pace.

 

I'm still trying to get my head around your ex relationship/marriage. Why did you get married if you were not involved romantically and why does he want to hang on to a marriage that is devoid of sex and romance? Again I'm assuming that is the case.

[Capricorn3]

Thread closed.