Healing and being on forums

[sky09]

I've been catching myself rethinking my particular situation every time I read somebody's thread and comparing their situation to mine. While I am nowhere near the mess I used to be 6 months ago, it feels like being on here hampers healing. I was away from the forum for almost a week and it felt great. I was also a week away from the house we've shared together, so coming back probably brought some of these things up as well.

 

My question is for people who have spent years on here and amassed thousands of posts. Have you been here constantly and not felt like the board with all of its shared pain is not helping you heal? I do like helping a fellow human being during times like these, but it feels like doing so is at my own expense at times. One board I do avoid at all costs is "getting back" together. At first I visited it to get some sort of hope, but when hope died, there was no point in reading those stories anymore.

[floridasfinest]

I am about 7 - 8 months out of a breakup, and I know what you mean. Most of these stories seem to open up the painful memories of my breakup.

 

I usually visit ENA when I am bored or feeling lonely, thinking that maybe I can help someone else. Then I catch myself reminiscing of the past. If you think ENA delays your healing, I suggest staying away from the site for a while. Good luck!

[sadchick83]

ENA is a great place to lament, heal, and discuss the details of your breakup long after your friends have said they don't want to hear another word about so and so. Yes, sometimes someone else's pain can reopen fresh breakup wounds. But really, you should take a holiday from analyzing your ex from time to time and that includes time spent on ENA.

ENA is there when you need it, and going to be there when you return from your sojourn.

 

I totally get the not wanting to look at "getting back together" section. Its like a coming of age when you switch to "healing after divorce."

 

Years after you heal, you can come back and give totally objective advice and help those in need.

[kbbcoop77]

Totally get what ur saying. I have felt the same thing. I think I'm gonna start weaning myself off these boards and another site I frequent. It's been 10 months, I'm feeling better and ready to let go and move on

[engraved2008]

ENA helped me at my lowest points in two LDR relationships and my two year marriage.. Some of us have been here for several years...it does help with healing process for the most part

[IAmFCA]

ENA was extraordinary in its ability to gather exactly the feedback I needed. I used ENA to give me direction, then I used Google to give me information. At that time, being on ENA may have slowed my recovery because it kept mr mired in my own story. However, the direction I got was priceless.

 

Sometimes, you need to take a break. No harm in that. ENA can be a useful sounding board should you get stuck, or start dating someone.

[No1]

I believe there comes a intersection or a cross roads that talking about your break up or writing about it in a journal can have a reverse effect and hurt you instead of healing. I came to my point and decided to take a break, talking about it here no longer helped but only brought back up pain as I typed it out. So I stepped away and let myself heal.

I came back when I felt like I could think about my past situation without getting emotional. Everyone has their limits and where their intersection lies. When you hit it, its better to step back and focus on healing and not the past.