Ex-BF wants to hang out this weekend? What do?

[ConfusedHere1]

My ex called me today to relay some account information to me so I could switch my cell service off of his account. He had texted me several times this morning to ask how I was doing and what I've been up to and such, trying to "chat" back and forth like we used to when we were together, or more likely, how he wants us to interact as "just friends."

 

Some background: He and I were together since February of 2014 and broke up right before Halloween of last year. The reason being that he was moving to a new city a couple of hours away for a new job and after some thinking, he said he wasn't sure if he wanted "all of the expectations of a relationship while he was trying to get his together." So I said I wasn't looking for a FWB situation and if he doesn't want a relationship, then we shouldn't be in one anymore.

 

I've had some highs and lows in the process of getting over him. I have a long way to go still. He wanted us to remain friends and still acts like nothing's changed between us, but it is much harder for me to accept this new dynamic.

 

So, when he called me today, he mentioned he was coming up to my city (his old city) to visit this weekend and he said he'd call me to see if I'd want to hang out with him while he was up here.

 

I'm going to talk to my counselor about this on Friday, but I still don't know what to do. Should I see him? Should I see what he wants? And if he's not trying to get back together, should I tell him that I don't think he and I should be "just friends" for awhile until I've healed, essentially enforcing the no-contact rule I've been breaking myself?

 

tl;dr: Ex wants to possibly hang out this weekend. There's no animosity between us, but I am not over him. Should I meet up with him to see what he has to say? What should I say to him? Will this bring me closure or just make everything harder?

[mhowe]

Your counselor has more of the background so I would listen to him/her.

 

My gut says he is trying to set up the "let's be friends" crap and if you don't need to hear that...pass. Long distance sucks...and he wouldn't commit to it anyway. I think you haven't healed enough to see him.

[90_hour_sleep]

Ya. Based on the details you've shared...I'd give it a pass too. Doesn't sound like you're quite where you'd like to be in order to feel okay with interactions with him. I think it'll probably just hold you up from your healing journey.

 

What does your gut say?

[ConfusedHere1]

My gut is telling me to meet up with him to see what he wants, if he *does* end up calling at all. I won't initiate anything, but I feel like I'd regret *not* seeing him more than seeing him, because I'd wonder what he would have said and it would drive me crazy not knowing. Although maybe I am just a glutton for punishment...

[mhowe]

You are a glutton. He is acting like you are friends. If he doesn't call...you have your answer.

If he calls and you say you are busy and can't meet up...if he truly had something to say...he would say...I need to talk with you. He isnt moving and he isn't apologizing.

 

Think. Don't react.

[No1]

If you want to meet up with him because you are curious.. you are asking for a world of hurt..

Simplicity.... When you think of seeing him do you get nerveous, anxious does it hurt you or bother you? Does it make you worried, sad, does your blood pressure level go up? If you answered yet, then dont see him.

[kbbcoop77]

If he wants to get you back and make the relationship work he would say so. Sounds to me he's looking for a roll in the hay. Don't fall for that, it'll just set you back. Continue working on getting over him is the best bet