Parents making us break up

[Tycy8]

Sorry for it being really long.

Alright so to begin, my girl and I have been together for 3 months but you may think it's way too short to even overreact about this but this girl is really the love of my life. She is 16 and I am 17. We met in the beginning of the school year when we were in the same AP Class. (She's a junior I'm a senior.) Ever since we began talking we clicked. She is really the girl of my dreams. She possesses such a great personality, intellect, and beauty. I guess it was love at first sight if you believe in that.

 

So, during our first weeks of dating she would tell her mom about me. However, I did get a chance to meet her mom prior to any relationship once when I walked her to the car. She's a very friendly lady I must say but of course, she didn't know we were talking at that time.

 

Well one day my girl's mom looked through her phone without warning and saw a picture of my girl kissing my cheek. This is really the starting point of her mom's bias towards me. Right off the bat she did not like me. My girlfriend tried telling her I was a good guy and had great intentions with her. Every attempt to convince her mother failed... So continuing to date in secrecy from her parents we are actually having a good time. No major problems were imminent or interfering with both of our lives. A month in our relationship we were sexually active. And like a lot of couples out there we began to sext.

 

So at school my girlfriend gets her phone taken away. A parent is required to pick it up. At this time, my girlfriend had already deleted all our messages but not our Twitter messages. So when her mom picked it up she went through it again and discovered on her Twitter that we have been sexting. This was now the second time we were caught, but this time was much worse than the first because her mom was extremely angry to the point where she hit her accross the face. So in result, she had no phone and the possible risk of moving schools too. Fortunately her mom did not tell anything to her dad at this point.

 

So during this phase of our relationship she was phone-less but I managed to get her a iPod so we can still communicate through iMessage. Our relationship was slightly different and we were still strong but I could feel the stress she was gaining throughout all of this. However, after a few weeks have passed after her mom's discovery of the messages on Twitter her dad found out by force as he took the phone from her mom and looked at it himself. Her dad discovered all the sexting we did and now knows we had sex.

 

At this point her dad was in complete anger and utter shock. My girlfriend told me he could not look at her the same way again which really made me feel so guilty. I try to tell her that It's all my fault and I still blame myself to this day but she keeps telling me that it's all worth it and it was her fault too. At this point our love for each other has reached an indescribable point due to the fact that we have already talked about our future together. As weeks pass after the incident her parents have begun to gain a little trust and happiness back due to the festive season of Christmas. Her parents did not want anything to do with me and hated me with their guts because they think I stole their daughter's virginity but really I didn't because she had sex with one guy before me but her parents don't know about that so I'm getting all the blame and hate.

 

So anyways we were caught a 3rd time ! We got caught in the library because she was doing a project with her friend for school and I was just talking with them. All of a sudden her mom walks in the library and sees us together and tells her that she's going home. Her mom then came up to me and said "It's not that I don't like you... I don't even know you but please stay away from my daughter. Her father and I made rules and she broke them." At this point I was devastated. Her bestfriend and I decided to go to her house and I would knock on the door and apologize for everything that I have caused to her family. Her mom answered and said that it wasn't a good time because she had company over and I complied. As I walked away her dad came out of the house and asked me if I was her boyfriend and I replied with "Yes Sir." He then came up to me and started cussing me out telling me never to see her again and I said "Yes Sir." again. I tried explaining my true intentions and to explain who I really am but he wouldn't give me a chance to say it. So now they want me cut off from her life - not even being able to be friends or anything! My girlfriend and I truly love each other but thanks to me she has no phone, trust, or freedom. She says she doesn't know what to do anymore because if she has me she doesn't have her family and if she has her family she doesn't have me. We have brought up breaking up but we love each other too much to let each other go. I'm also afraid that she will not have the same feelings for me in the future if we do break up and finds another guy.

 

There has to be something I can do to gain her parents trust or at least show them I'm not what they think of me as. I love this girl to death and I can't picture my life without her. Any advice is appreciated and again sorry for it being so long.

[Capricorn3]

The only thing left for you to do is to respect the parents wishes and leave their daughter alone, once and for all. If you want to gain their trust and respect (if ever), then you have to show them respect. Clearly, they don't want their young daughter getting involved with you, for their own reasons and that is their right as she is still a minor and under their care.

 

Do yourself and them all a favour and back off. If you are this crazy about the girl then surely you can wait until she is 18.

[kbbcoop77]

She's a minor and you have to respect her parents wishes or legally you could be in some serious trouble. And you two are very young and have an entire lifetime ahead of you. Back off like her parents said.

[Seraphim]

Her mother had NO right to hit her in the face.

 

She is their daughter and 16 and must abide by their rules. If she gets pregnant want to know who is raising this baby? That's right ,her parents.

 

Do as they ask.

[mhowe]

The moment you starting hiding and lying you lost any respect.

[Alittlelost]

I disagree with the above posters actually. I think she needs to have a mature conversation with Her parents. She should explain her feelings, that she has had sex before you, that she wishes to date and that there should be no issue along as her grades are maintained. Assuming she is stil keeping up with school and her other responsibilities. Her parents need to see her as a 16 year old female and not a child. Not get me wrong, she is not an adult yet either. If she can not have that conversation then she is not old enough to be having sex.

Sex is legal in my country at 16 and in many countries 16 year olds can drive cars.

It's not your choice to make and it rests with her. Sneaking around and lieing have made it all so much worse.

 

As a poster has mentioned yes there is a pregancy risk and so safe sex should always be taken. Condoms are a must. There is no excuse and she should look at additional protection such as the pill.

 

This is her conversation to have with her parents. If they will not let her date then thats her battle to have and you will have to step back. In my experience parents who enforce strict rules have children who never live, lead double lives or really go off the rails.

 

There isn't a Anything you can do about this. Never sneak around!!! How dr your hardly the first teenager to do this n

 

 

P.s hitting is never okay.

[relevart]

The only problem I have with anything you say the parents did was her mother slapping the daughter. You're young and don't get it, but you and your GF has actually brought everything down upon yourself. You're way too young to be exually active and you both showed an immense amount of disrespect by still seeing each other. Even if after the mother found out, if instead of the sexts, she found a yung, but mature couple struggling with real love instead of just want to bone each other, maybe this would have turned out differently.

 

In the meantime, you got to stay away from the daughter.