Rihanna Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Hi I'm scared that I'll grow I'll old without having a home and family of my own. Any advice on how and where to meet decent men? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 That's like saying I'm afraid of dying. Any ideas on how to avoid getting killed? I think if you live a regular, normal life, your best bet is to focus on getting rid of the fear. There are plenty of threads with plenty of strategies on dating. But it won't do you much good if you are operating from a place of fear. Link to comment
CraigHowes Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Right here? Hi I'm Craig, How you doing??? Haha. It's the law of attraction if you are fearful of the future the universe won't give you one. You need to look inside, imagine how you want your boyfriend to look, what values do you want him to have? Then you just get out there and live your life. As a man I'm attracted to a women who i can see is enjoying herself and I'm comfortable within herself. We all give off vibes when we are out and about so keep your head up and smile. Look whilst every setback hurts it makes us stronger and leads us to the person we're meant to be with. You've just got to have faith and know that the dots will connect themselves. I mean I've been single for just over a month from a 6 month relationship. I'm looking forward when I'm ready to get back out there and find someone to build a future with but you can't force these things. Good luck. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 craig is excatly right ...the law of attraction tells us you get back what you put out ... It all comes from within ... and when you realise you hold the key toyour own doors you become empowered . Maybe if you had the chance you good read a book on the law of attraction ... I don't know if craig will agree , but I wouldn't dive straight into books like jerry and esther hicks ..thats quite heavy stuff for a first time read .. It changes the way you think and empowers you once you get a good handle on the way the universe works .. dont worry darling .. law of attraction or not we all have these horrible moments and christmas doesnt do an awful lot to help that arghhhhhhh all the lovely little families sat round the tree blahblahblah ..... Link to comment
Rihanna Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 Thank you all... Hi Craig hahaha... the thing is I haven't had much experience with relationships and I've only been with one guy despite my age at 32. I am attractive I think cos what unattractive person gets chased down the street or get approached by men to tell her she's beautiful? however, this doesn't fulfill my quest from 'the' man I'm looking for... I dated a guy for few weeks and he lost interest (I think?) because he just disappeared... This question's for you craig: I think he lost interest because he was looking for sex and I didn't give him Anything not even a kiss after the third date so he just gave up? Anyway, who cares but from a male perspective I'd like to hear your opinion that's all... I tell myself every day this: 'new day, new opportunities' I even bought myself a holiday for 7 nights just to get away a bit and take a break from my living situation... I just need some alone time and my own space. So, I'm not depressed, I do look after myself looks and health etc... But I just want a guy who has a good heart, who has financial security and good family values... I'm not looking for wealth materialistics don't interest me but it's important to be hard working and have good foundations... All men seem to want these days is to have sex without putting much effort because there are lots of women out there that avail themselves in this way and women like me get to grow old, lose their looks and have zero intimacy because we refuse to sleep around ... so sorry for saying these things but that's what scares me most... Shooting star, yea christmas is horrible like the rest of this year I can't wait til it's over ... thanks for listening to my rant Link to comment
CraigHowes Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Ok well i have no perspective over this man and what he's like but as a man by three dates i would of expected a kiss or some form of physical contact. Yes your right when you say a man needs sex it's natural for us to want it and we will do anything to have it, i mean anything. I mean we would still be happy being cavemen dragging women back to our caves. Anyway to get back on point. As a man we respect women who have self respect and don't offer us sex on a plate. Men are hunters and we need to hunt women to satisfy our instinctive needs. If you give it to us on a plate we will happily take it but we will have no respect for you so we will throw you away. What I'm saying is if you have your own unique value system and the man generally likes you he won't go anywhere. Don't make him wait too long though or he'll go crazy! All in all you just have to find a man who's willing to meet your expectations and don't settle for anything else. I always tell women you have all the power, men are stupid and we will do what ever is required just to get some intimacy with you. Your not doing anything wrong so just keep going, keep looking and stay hungry. A man will come along to fulfil your needs in time. I hope that answers your question? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Here are the ways I had the most luck: at work (how I met my husband), through friends, colleagues, former colleagues, former classmates family members (and making sure they knew I was interested in meeting someone to marry - at work I was more toned down of course!), through on line dating sites, singles events, singles vacations, religious events, volunteer work, and being involved with women's networking groups and book clubs -all women but you can meet men through women. I made it a part time job and sometimes more. Link to comment
Rihanna Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 Thank you Craig you're absolutely right! if he liked me he would've stayed but he's gone and I'm not dwelling ... I do have values and if I liked this guy maybe I would've kissed him cos I know he wanted to but he also knows that I'm really shy and won't initiate it... so there it's over I'll do better with the next guy but I don't sleep with men before some sort of commitment... Batya33- hahahaha thanks heaps, I didn't think women book clubs helped I'll look into that haha... I don't work yet and lack some motivation in the town I live in at the moment. But my work targets women but yea you never know someone might introduce me hehe... all in all I think Ms Darcy is right that I'm operating from a place of fear, I need to heal myself first. But men do the hunting so it's when fate strikes for me hehe... I hope I won't ruin my next one... thank you everyone! Link to comment
Rihanna Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 BTW BAtya33 - what are the best online dating sites for free? I'm not really into these things it's bit desperate but it'll be good to know a few sites and see what the fuss is about? thanks heaps Also this one's for Craig: If a guy asks for my number do I give it to him or is that off putting? I never gave my number to guys even if I'm interested ... Also, if a guy asks me out and I don't want to sound desperate but I don't want to lose him what do I say? Link to comment
CraigHowes Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 If you like the look of the guy and he sounds interesting then sure give him your number. If you don't and get a bad vibe from him just give him the wrong number haha. If a guy asks you out and you like him. You go sure i'd like that, when were you thinking? As simple as that really. There is no point in playing games or over thinking things. Dating can be confusing enough, so keep it simple and then on the date if you hit it off then great, if not no worries. If a man isn't interested in you it's of no reflection on you. We all have different tastes and likes, you could meet someone who fits what you want perfectly but you just don't feel it and you wonder why aren't I feeling anything for this man he's perfect. You can't make the heart feel something it doesn't and you can't help who you fall for. You just have to be true to yourself and what you want 100%. The universe will do the rest. Oh and you also mention your shy nothing wrong with that, you just need a man who's willing to take charge and go in for a kiss rather than waiting for you to do it. Link to comment
Rihanna Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 Thank you so much Craig now all I need is luck... Also my ex husband is coming to my town should I met up with him or not? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 BTW BAtya33 - what are the best online dating sites for free? I'm not really into these things it's bit desperate but it'll be good to know a few sites and see what the fuss is about? thanks heaps Also this one's for Craig: If a guy asks for my number do I give it to him or is that off putting? I never gave my number to guys even if I'm interested ... Also, if a guy asks me out and I don't want to sound desperate but I don't want to lose him what do I say? I don't know which ones are best but I would write to men on dating sites only with the attitude that it is a good way to meet people - if you assume everyone on a site is desperate then you're not going to get much out of it. I think you have to put yourself in situations where you are meeting men and women naturally because it's an activity or an event you all enjoy. Women can introduce you to available men especially if you find ways to return the favor. Link to comment
Rihanna Posted December 26, 2014 Author Share Posted December 26, 2014 Well Please please advice me on what's going on in this guy's head and I will do whatever you guys advice I promise! I hope Craig reads this because I'd like a guy's perspective. Here it goes: Well, I met someone and he 'wasn't into me' apparently after he's introduced me to his family and he came over to my home. He disappeared. I deleted his number and told myself to move on and was doing good. But yesterday, Xmas day he sent me a text saying: 'Merry Christmas sweetheart hope you have a good day!x' which confused me because although it's courtersy to with someone merry christmas the wording and what's the point of it anyway? I replied with 'merry xmas to you and your family x' and that was it! I don't know if there's hope with this guy or I should block him to move on because he's been sweet in text and that is when he texts (not so much anymore) and he doesn't make plans to see me... What should I do? Be harsh I don't care but get me out of this cycle... thanks heaps peeps and hope you had a merry xmas Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 You'll take the advice? Well, I would strongly advise you to be single for at least a year. Looking at your past threads, you had a bad breakup 6 months ago and it seems you have really lost yourself in relationships. Focus on being a happy, whole, single woman who is independent and healed from your past. Good luck. Link to comment
Rihanna Posted December 26, 2014 Author Share Posted December 26, 2014 Thank you Ms Darcy... Yes, good advice! will stay single for a while until I'm fully healed ... btw, I've only been in one relationship and been alone for almost a year but obviously i need more time haha Link to comment
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