secret engagement

[venessa]

Well i have been with my boyfriend or should i say my fiance since february 19, 2002 and well he just proposed to me two weeks ago. The problem is that i am only sixteen i will be seventeen in september and he will be eight teen in october and i don't know when would be the right time to tell my family. We both have decided that we are going to wait until we get out of school to get married which is reasonable. I love this guy with everything i have. And i know he is the one i want to be with for the rest of my life because i have never experienced these feelings with anyone else i mean he make me feel so safe i cant imagine my life without him. to get to the point i just wanted to know what you guys think about us keeping our engagement a secret.

sincerly

venessa

[Zanne]

I would suggest putting off the engagement for a while. At 17, I had shoes I thought I would have for the rest of my life. Wait till you finish college to make such a big decision, but don't trap yourself in something till you're really ready. People change a lot in college and you should give yourself the opportunity to grow into who you will be and not preemptively decide that at 16, your life is already set. If you love each other, you can wait for this. You want your family to take this announcement with as much joy and excitement as you feel, and to take you seriously when you tell them about this big decision you've made about your future. In all likelihood, if you tell them now, they really won't be all that happy and it'll just make you (and him) miserable and you have to live with your parents for at least another couple years so you don't want your homelife to be turned into some kind of Cold War zone. It could turn messy, they could forbid you to see him, and then it'll be a tug-of-war between your family and your boyfriend. You are still very young. Wait for a while to decide to get married. Sixteen is not a time to be thinking about marriage and your boyfriend should really know better than to ask you at this time. Have you even been together for very long? It's possible he asked because he's graduating (I would asume so at eighteen) and thinks that will break you up. Whatever the reason...wait.