Help me to understand my mother

[renaissancewoman101]

A few weeks ago I went to HK and visited my uncle. Spent 6 days there and had a wonderful time hanging out with him, to the point that I am again seriously considering finding a job there and moving there for a few years. Two years ago, when I went to HK to visit my uncle, he was actively encouraging me to find a job there and move there. He was offering to help me with recommendations and such. In order to find a good job in HK, one needs some one to "recommend" you and my uncle (although retired) has good pull in some business circles. I also qualify to get residency status in HK due to my parents being native HKers (but I would need my mom to help me apply)

 

My mom has ALWAYS been against me moving there to find a job or otherwise. For a long time she wouldn't let me accompany her when she would go visit. This last trip she I never told her about it and I made my uncle promise NOT to mention that I went there. I didn't think she had a right to know since I paid for the trip myself and did not stay with my uncle or relatives.

 

During the trip, I brought up about finding a job in HK again. This time my uncle was against it. Not sure why, and this hurt my feelings a bit . Now, his reasoning is that I may not do well in the work culture there. I do think his reasoning may also be that I might not do well health wise there. HK is extremely polluted (air pollution) and this time I came down with bronchitis the second day of my trip. Ended up having to see 2 different docs to get it under control.

 

My uncle still wants me to come visit whenever I want to, since he enjoys my company.

 

When I came home, I did a little digging around and found out that for a while after my 2013 trip back to HK, my uncle was constantly advocating to my mom that I move to HK for a year or so and that he would help me find a job. My mom kept shooting him down and eventually my mom told hi it was a moot point and she did NOT want to discuss it anymore.

 

i just don't understand why my mom is so against me reinventing my career and doing something different as moving to a new country for a few years. I know I have a good job here that pays well, but part of me wants some change. I also want to spend more time with my uncle.

 

For those of you who are parents would you support your child in an endeavor like this? If so, why or why not?

[penelope13]

If you are considering only going for a few years and not permanently, you probably don't need residence status and thus don't need to involve your mother. At your age you should be living your own life and making decisions for yourself even if you don't have the support of your family.

 

Thus if you really want to go to HK for a few years - figure out what the requirements are and make the arrangements. Instead of asking for your mothers permission, you tell her this is what you are going to do.