Discovery in NC

[DaisyHope]

So I was never given a reason as to why he ended it. Nor do I think he planned/meant to break up yet were still broken up. However what happens when NC makes you realise the faults in yourself that may have ultimately lead to boyfriend ending it......? Accept it, deal with it and move on....or attempt contact when dealt with issues but have risk of rejection....?

 

I'm posting on this thread because I'd like to get back togeyeher...well start afresh.

 

In my situation I'm worried NC is the wrong course of action as whilst it's given me the time to realise my faults if I leave it too long he'll never know the changes I'm making or how much I love him.

[ThatwasThen]

Have You ever headr of the poem "A Reason, A Season or a Lifetime"

 

I think he came into your life for a "reason" and that was to teach you about yourself and to make the necessary changes (or get professional help in changing them if the need be) and now he's gone. Think of it this way: Now you're free and open and that much more improved when the "lifetime" mate meets you.

 

Here's the poem:

[chamachama]

If he wanted to contact you, he would contact you...

 

Always remember that.

[HeartGoesOn]

^

Agreed...

[DaisyHope]

If he wanted to contact you, he would contact you...

 

Always remember that.

 

But he has.....

[chamachama]

You're going to do what you want to do regardless of the sound advice here. Contacting him in any way will not workout to what you want and all it will do is set you back in the healing process and you know that.

 

Once you've flung yourself to the bottom floor of club heartbreak and you have no more pride or self worth to be taken from you by him....you'll start accepting and healing at a proper clip I guess.

 

Good luck with your contact.

[catfeeder]

If he wanted to work things our with you, he'd have addressed his reasons for breaking up. He didn't do that, so while your revelations may be useful to you, it's not a great idea to set yourself up to believe that they're useful to him.

 

If you're willing to risk him not responding to your contact, consider whether that outcome would make things easier or harder for you to move forward.

 

It's your call.

[DaisyHope]

Just to be clear, I have not been in contact with him, he has initiated contact for a couple of things that I had to get back to him on, but since his last contact I haven't responded.

[chamachama]

Ahhhh ok so his contact wasn't about actually contacting you, but about loose ends etc...

 

Well it's good than you haven't contacted him. Hope you stay strong and continue the NC.

[catfeeder]

If he contacts you and wants to discuss the relationship, then sure, lay your newfound wisdom on him. If not, consider him checked out--so all the revelations in the world would be wasted on him. Use them for your own growth going forward, and consider his vision too limited to make him a good enough match for you.