change4better1 Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 First off Thank you for taking the time to read my post! My situation, I am a 51 year old Male going through a break up after being engaged for 3 Month ..10 years of knowing her. as usual everything in the beginning was great between us ..we have no kids by the way. for the past few years things has been going downhill . no infidelity here involved from either side. Things are fantastic when we get along, the problem is when you have our disputes I run and hide and have nothing to do with her. She does things out of impulse and becomes very angry and verbal with profanity words . We are just very mean to eachother and act on impulse ..We have tried several times to work through this with no results ..things were great and I was going to Marry her. I have been back and forth with her now for about 3 years. it just doesn't seem to be working . Our last but recent break up was for the dumbest reason and after 5 days of no contact i decided to text her and say we both shouldn't' treat each other this way. and i got no reply, I decided to call her and again she didn't answer . Then a final Text from me was *If you are ignoring me and have decided to break it off then please let me know so that i can come by and pick up my things and the ring* She replied right away and said then come pick it up. I replied no you're going to break up with me then you do it in front of me "im on my way" ..Turns out she wasn't at home and all my stuff was outside waiting for me to pick up including the ring . My heart dropped she wasn't there . her poor 76 year old father was waiting for me to pick it up.We had words but not much so i pick up my stuff and took off. This is just the last incident there have been others. So today Here is where i am at emotionally and where i am planing on going! I have decided that this is not a healthy relationship. As much as we love each other. We hate each other the same amount when things are not right between us. I am going to move on with my life and understands in my heart that this will be a process. I am going to go through the pain, hurt , sadness , confused, FEARS, and all else that comes with the breakup. I have decided to write down a daily journey of my feelings to myself. I have already written a letter of our final goodbyes and how i felt about her all my emotions all my thoughts ..*I DIDN"T SEND IT TO HER* its just a letter of away of helping me letting go. I will not go out looking for a replacement rebound although i'm tempted at times. Only reason is for the first time in a long time the focus will be on ME. I need to learn from this breakup and grow . I don't need someone to make me feel complete . that feeling should come from within me. I will focus on what makes me feel good emotionally . I don't have friends that i can share my feeling to hence the reason why im here posting. but Dammit that doesn't mean I can't go out and find friends. Preferable Male friends that can understand what I go through . I feel trapped sometimes like im in a box with no open doors ..but i know in my heart that this too shall pass and I'll be happy again! I will work hard to get there and understand that it will be a process and I will have setbacks. *two steps forward one step back* . Acceptance is the Key ..Removing her from all social media, Changing my Phone Number and not looking for her is a very good start for me. Today was a good day though I woke up this morning not feeling the void in my gutt. took a walk went for a haircut and cleaned my apartment. Sorry im babbling but just letting out my feelings here. again, thank you for reading. ~NewLife Link to comment
rainbows Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 omg i am really sorry to know that you are going through this stuff. *hugs* so if you really truly have decided on a break up, yes, there are a number of things you can do to move on. and yes you will be happy again. Just go out there and meet lots of new people and pick up new hobbies. whenever I have to deal with a crisis, I start by watching comedy movies. may sound silly, but they help me so so so much. I am looking for pen friends, but i am 25 and I am a girl! I dont know if we would have much in common, but if you would like to chat sometimes, so inbox me a message! Good luck! Link to comment
change4better1 Posted October 19, 2014 Author Share Posted October 19, 2014 I wouldn't know where to start to send you a message. but thank you for your comment. In fact right before i read your reply i was watching a video which was very funny ..good few minutes of laughter . Thank you Link to comment
catfeeder Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 I wouldn't know where to start to send you a message. but thank you for your comment. In fact right before i read your reply i was watching a video which was very funny ..good few minutes of laughter . Thank you I think you'll need to post enough before your private messaging feature is enabled. Meanwhile, your plan sounds great, and you appear to understand that the down times are not permanent. Head high. Link to comment
change4better1 Posted October 20, 2014 Author Share Posted October 20, 2014 Thank you for all your support Today is a new day and i'm hoping that my emotions and obsessions of her subsides ~NewLife Link to comment
Tanzi Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Hi change4better. I know what you are going through is tough but you seem to have the right attitude. Your relationship was unhealthy so, regardless of where you are both at emotionally, you know you have to move on. You will have a lot of emotions to work through, as you said, and some days will be better than others. Just be patient and accept that you aren't going to get over her overnight. Lots of us have been through the same thing - and come out the other side - so feel free to post here for support. For what it's worth I think you are showing a great deal of strength by facing up to the facts ... and with the right implementations in place, you will help yourself move on much faster. Good luck! Link to comment
change4better1 Posted October 20, 2014 Author Share Posted October 20, 2014 Hi change4better. I know what you are going through is tough but you seem to have the right attitude. Your relationship was unhealthy so, regardless of where you are both at emotionally, you know you have to move on. You will have a lot of emotions to work through, as you said, and some days will be better than others. Just be patient and accept that you aren't going to get over her overnight. Lots of us have been through the same thing - and come out the other side - so feel free to post here for support. For what it's worth I think you are showing a great deal of strength by facing up to the facts ... and with the right implementations in place, you will help yourself move on much faster. Good luck! Thank you for the reinsurance there...Sometimes we all need someone from the outside to say we're on the right track as during these times one cannot see themselves progressing. Thanks again ~NewLIfe Link to comment
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