College Homecoming dance tonight, is it pathetic to go alone?

[compwhiz345]

Hey everyone,

 

I've been stuck in the house for the last few months, and pretty much nothing since I start back to college. I want to to date again, but I'm more focused on creating new friendships, and so far it's been pretty difficult, unless you live in a dorm. Anyways, it's the university's homecoming week and a dance is happening tonight. I generally made it a rule not to go to bars or places like this alone because it looks pretty bad dancing alone. Is it pathetic to go to a dance alone? Plus, I'm shy when it comes to asking women to dance at the risk of the woman saying "No or I have boyfriend". My self-esteem has been really low, and I'm thinking this could help bring it up.

 

Thanks.

[happyfrank]

Go, shows a lot of confidence going to parties alone. Their will be plenty of girls that go with their friends. Have fun...

[mhowe]

I say, "go for it". You need not dance, but I am sure there will be a lot of single girls there and surely other people you know.

[compwhiz345]

I say, "go for it". You need not dance, but I am sure there will be a lot of single girls there and surely other people you know.

 

Mhowe, this is new universIty I am attending and have maybe two night courses a week, I probably won't know too many people, meeting people is difficult when I have no reason to be on campus.

[mhowe]

I still think you should go ----

[compwhiz345]

Girls that go together usually stay together the whole time. How do I get past this, because I'm going to want to dance.

[mhowe]

Then you walk a to a girl alone, or a girls in a group, introduce yourself and ask if someone would like to dance.

 

~"Why do we fall...?" "So we can learn to pick ourselves back up."~

 

You can't dance if you don't ask ---- so ask, and if someone says "no thank you", then mingle some more and try again with someone else.

[happyfrank]

Girls that go together usually stay together the whole time. How do I get past this, because I'm going to want to dance.

 

Talk to the group for few mins and ask one girl to dance or just simply say let's all go dance. Go based on the vibe you get.

[Clinton]

Confidence is your friend. Be bold. And don't take any rejections personally. Go in with the idea you are just there for a night out and a bit of fun.

[Sleepysaurus44]

Just like going out alone. You can find a group of people to talk to and join up with. I say go for it.

[compwhiz345]

I will probably go tonight. Any tips or advice?

[lavenderdove]

I never let 'what other people think' guide any of my decisions. You have to quit worrying about that, and start thinking about doing things that you find fun and will enrich your life. If you're 'worried' about doing something alone and being pathetic, you need to flip that and think, 'isn't it pathetic that people seem to think you need to be coupled up to enjoy life and have wonderful experiences?'

 

It never occurred to me to think that eating alone in a restaurant would be considered pathetic until someone told me she was afraid to eat alone in restaurants because of 'what people would think.' I was baffled! I told her, I have no trouble at all eating alone because when i go alone, i am there to EAT and enjoy the food, not worry about what other people are thinking. And the reality is I've been to restaurants and seen so many couples who sit there together and don't say a single word the entire time they eat... so how is that different than eating alone? And frankly i find that sad, that someone is married to or dating someone where they have nothing at all to say to each other when sitting face to face at a table.

 

re: rejection if you ask someone out... who cares? You won't find someone unless you try. And ho harm, no foul if she says no thank you or has a BF. You may need to ask 100 people for a date before one accepts, but you should take the 99 who turn you down as it being their loss, or they are just already committed, and you won't have any way of knowing until you ask. Everybody gets rejected, but nobody will get anybody unless they try and ask!

[compwhiz345]

I agree, but it's just so hard to shake the mindset after it has been instilled in your brain. I would love to date again, but right now I would really like to meet some people in person, and the courses I'm taking at night prevents me from doing that, I'm not going to spend 10 hours on campus just to find someone to hang out with. It's not logical, which is where the dance comes in tonight with going alone. I would prefer not to go alone, but I will end going alone anyway because I do want to be able to say that I was there and give myself the chance either way of meeting some people and dancing with someone or more.

[compwhiz345]

UPDATE: I appreciate all of your advice and suggestions, but unfortunately I was not able to go to the dance tonight, because I had car problems. Just my luck.