She unblocked me on Facebook?

[Aeropro]

So, during the last convo I had with my ex I told her to block me in order to keep myself in check. I basically told her that, for my healing, I didn't want the ability to keep tabs on her in any capacity. Since she was the one that wanted space, etc, I knew it would be for the best because she wouldn't care to check up on me.

 

Anyway, I was on my FB today and noticed that I could see her comments/likes again on my page. Sure enough... she unblocked me. Why would she do this? Sigh... false hope, probably. Obviously she is curious as to what I am up to for some reason or the other. Is she already getting bored with the new guy she has been dating? Do people come back THAT soon after dumping someone? Is the 'Grass is Greener Syndrome' making her miss already?

 

She's been dating someone new for about two/three weeks now. She wished me a happy birthday last night and unblocked me on FB hours ago. I just don't understand. Part of me wants to block her now for my own healing... but part of me wants to just wait for her to block me in 48 hours (if you unblock someone on FB you must wait 48 hours to block again) to see what happens.

 

=/

[trishlove]

I think the only way you can tell for sure is if she tells you up front that she wants to go back to you. She may miss you, but that's not an implication that she will want to go back to you. If I were you I'd block her. But first, tell her that you wish to remain unaware of her activities so that she'll know you have no plans of messing around with her. Tell her to contact you if she has decided to get back with you. If not, then she shouldn't contact you at all.

 

Be strong. We're in this together. I'm going through as well. Lol.

[Aeropro]

I think the only way you can tell for sure is if she tells you up front that she wants to go back to you. She may miss you, but that's not an implication that she will want to go back to you. If I were you I'd block her. But first, tell her that you wish to remain unaware of her activities so that she'll know you have no plans of messing around with her. Tell her to contact you if she has decided to get back with you. If not, then she shouldn't contact you at all.

 

Be strong. We're in this together. I'm going through as well. Lol.

 

Thanks. It is good to know there are others in my boat. Honestly I was perplexed. I have no idea why on earth she would unblock me if she is obsessed with this new guy. It's just little ole' me that she threw aside like trash. I haven't begged nor pleaded and have not contacted her in the last week besides saying "Thank you" yesterday. Does that eat at her ego or something?

[BigKK]

uuuh, why do you give your ex control over your moving on?

 

How about you just block her like you should of from the get go instead of putting it all in her court?

[Aeropro]

uuuh, why do you give your ex control over your moving on?

 

How about you just block her like you should of from the get go instead of putting it all in her court?

 

This thread isn't necessarily about whether or not I should block her or not as I know I should for my own healing. It is mostly with regards to why she unblocked me when she "doesn't care about me" and understanding that behavior. Since this sub-thread is GETTING BACK TOGETHER and not HEALING AFTER A BREAKUP/DIVORCE, I believe it is fitting.

[trishlove]

Thanks. It is good to know there are others in my boat. Honestly I was perplexed. I have no idea why on earth she would unblock me if she is obsessed with this new guy. It's just little ole' me that she threw aside like trash. I haven't begged nor pleaded and have not contacted her in the last week besides saying "Thank you" yesterday. Does that eat at her ego or something?

 

A simple thank you is fine, but leave it at that. I understand that every little thing, such as unblocking you from facebook, will stir a lot of confusion in you. It's best if you simplify it this way: If she wants to get back with you, she will tell you upfront. She shouldn't beat around the bush. Tell her the ground rules: Contact me only if you want to get back with me. This will make life simpler for you.

 

Of course, there is a chance that she won't come back. So if I were you, I'd start moving on in case the worst case scenario happens.

[Blue92]

She may be playing mind games with you. You put her on a pedestal when you asked if she could block you. She knows that you are still into her and she may want you to look at her profile to toy with your emotions. You should not have given her that control. If she wants to talk to you, she still has your number, right? No need for fb anymore... I say block her so you can gain back some leverage.

[Aeropro]

She may be playing mind games with you. You put her on a pedestal when you asked if she could block you. She knows that you are still into her and she may want you to look at her profile to toy with your emotions. You should not have given her that control. If she wants to talk to you, she still has your number, right? No need for fb anymore... I say block her so you can gain back some leverage.

 

Why would she even care to do that? If that is the case then she truly is a completely selfish person. Maybe she thought if she unblocked me then I would be able to see when she commented/liked things on our mutual friends' pages? It doesn't seem like her. Honestly, I am sure it is just curiosity. She probably wants to make sure I am not over her already as to not stain her ego.

 

Blocking her.

[Aeropro]

I did block her, but wanted to continue this thread for discussion. We broke up, technically I think, on August 29th... and the last time I saw her in person was August 30th. Meaning, this coming Saturday marks three weeks that she has been seeing this other person. Again, as far as I know, she isn't in a relationship quite yet, although they have been dating. Our last conversation was Thursday September 4th, in which I threw out apologies, wished her the best, etc. That is when she agreed to block me and wished me the best at finding my new person and said she really liked the new guy and wanted a relationship and it wasn't "expected".

 

Since then we've had one conversation that stretched out three days that I started last week. This was on Tuesday when I told her about a jersey I bought her for Christmas and how, when I went to check if it needed cleaning, that it still smelled like her and that I hope she "still keeps smelling nice" and I wished her the best. Mistake, I know... sending the text that is. But, she did respond somewhat playfully. This lead to me telling her about a mutually favorite band of ours that released a new song. She responded later the next day (Wednesday) and said she liked the song. I then responded with a birthday memory of mine last year when she took me to a concert. I basically did this as I read online that if one ever is in LC with an ex, keep it light, playful, and spark some sort of fond memory, which is what I did.

 

She then never responded to that text, but did respond on Sunday night for my bday. I responded yesterday morning. I thought that was that, but again she unblocked me from Facebook. Now, I know that curiosity killed the cat and she was probably just seeing if my profile picture changed or, maybe, she was hoping to see if I had my relationship status set to public. Maybe she DID do it to play mind games with me. As it stands now, nothing has changed. She hasn't reached out to me or left any sort of other hint that she is reconsidering her choice.

 

However, I have read that with 'Grass is Greener Syndrome' that the three week mark can be somewhat pivotal as well as the two month mark. I am moving on and have no expectations that she will ever reach out to me again, because I have zero plans to do so to her. However, I am wondering if this small breadcrumb of hers is any indication, for those of you who HAVE reconciled, that she may be thinking about me and what she has lost.

 

Thanks friends.

[Aeropro]

Something occurred to me... her family did remove me from friends and, while I still like her family and understand that they only removed me because of things she said behind my back about the break-up, I blocked them as to not stumble upon their page and see pictures of her, etc. I also blocked a lot of her close friends as I did not want ANY sort of contact available (plus her "friends" are the ones that have some strange, maniuplative influence on her and her life. I wouldn't even want to be their friend if we happened to get back together).

 

I wonder if she, perhaps, would have tried to have one of her friends check out my page and then, when they told her that they couldn't see me either, she unblocked me to see what was up? I guess that would make sense. Who knows? It could be anything, really. She could have vented to her new guy about me so much that he was curious as to what I looked like and wanted her to show him a picture. I guess the toxic thing about me even caring is that it builds this curiosity element and keeps me thinking about her as you all were saying. The only reason why this is the case is because I still have feelings for her and want reconcilation at some point.

 

However, I still do think this thread can be beneficial because I know others probably go through this as well.

[BigKK]

It's an illusion if you think unblocking is the first sign of a long process of "getting back together," when things fall apart it takes longer than three weeks to make significant changes and make amends, otherwise you two are getting back together purely due to the loneliness and all underlying issues untouched and unfixed. This is why I suggested blocking her (like you did) and not deciphering her every action...the very act of analyzing your exes every move will keep you in limbo for a long time.

 

 

Why did she do it? She was bored. She wanted to see if you'd respond. Because she can. She missed you for a second. There is a hundred different reasons for why she unblocked you, and 99% of them don't matter. Everyone goes through these spiraling thoughts of trying to figure it out, but you won't feel better until you put it all to rest.

 

 

Just from your posts it sounds like you are still deeply in love with her, and hooked on the feeling. More time apart will help you take off the rose-colored glasses and hopefully you'll see that your ex isn't good for you, and even though your world is crashing down since this is your first love you'll get over it. You need to take steps like blocking her, not worrying about her, and trying to restructure your life without her...she doesn't sound good for you either. You also need to try to work on yourself, some of the things you posted in other posts about individual's past...I think that stems from your own insecurities and can be a great thing to work on while you're single.

 

Anyways, hang in there, it's rough, I was in your shoes a little over a year ago, but with a lot of effort and diligence I came out much better and stronger. Still working on myself, always, but happy with my progress. Cheers

[Aeropro]

Well, she is dating someone else so I just don't understand why she would even unblock me when she is getting all of the attention she craves from someone "new and fresh".

 

Sure, I love her. However, I have accepted her past for a long time now. It was a growing phase, but it doesn't affect me anymore. Maybe that is why God made me meet her... and maybe we'll be back together - stronger. Who knows? Regardless, I am focusing on ME now and not expecting anything from her. Deep down, however, I hope we work out. I am going to date others and focus on me, but I've seen some stories on here that give me just the slightest hope.

 

Thanks.

[Dcgent]

Reading through the comments, it looks like you are getting some sound advice, but you brush it off because this should be about getting back together. Nothing about her unblocking you on Facebook symbolizes that you are getting back together. Most likely she is playing around with you and wants to remain friends but she is clearly disinterested. She also sounds extremely immature, and quite frankly you do as well. Don't take that as an insult please, but rather a straight up observation that hopefully one day you will realize and see for yourself. I would highly recommend you block her on Facebook and quit exchanging texts in which it is obvious that you are fishing for attention. She is with someone else. There is no science to relationship, i.e. "at the 3 week mark it is pivotal blah blah blah". You are wasting your time and energy and you are also selling your dignity off to someone that doesn't want to buy it. Back away from the situation and gain some respect for yourself. Don't sell yourself short. There are way better woman out there that will treat you with respect if you learn to treat yourself with respect. This girl shouldn't be your life. Good Luck.

[Aeropro]

Thank you. I agree that "love makes us blind". I know that the contact within the last week wasn't mature, but it was a connection and is now part of the road of 'getting back together'. You're right - I shouldn't want to be back with her. None of us should want to get back with our exes, but we do because we have fond memories and history with people and some things are worth fighting for.

 

The advice I've received has been great and I have taken it. I blocked her - I no longer contact her. I work out, focus on work, and have done things with friends more. Hell, I've been dating someone new and meeting new people (light dating... not jumping ship as she did). The fact of the matter is, she and I went through a lot. My hands aren't clean from the relationship, but I did try my best - especially towards the end. She chose to try something new. I never was under the impression that her unblocking me was any indication that she would come running back to me. However, I came to this forum and sought out advice as to what that behavior may indiciate, and hearing other stories helps with my healing process.

 

There isn't a science to relationships, but we are all on here talking to each other for a reason. We want to hear one another's stories so we can try to place the puzzle pieces into a sort of picture as to what to expect for our own lost relationships. I know there are way better women out there that will treat me better. But, there is also someone I've grown with and whom I've loved for two great years that may be able to see what she had lost.

 

Will I wait for it? No. Will I hope that she comes back? Sure. Will I rely on it? No. I am in this for me.

[Clinton]

I get that you want her back. All I can tell you is to try if you want to, but be honest with yourself about the pain you can take.

 

Aside from that you can try no contact, limited contact, friends, pretty much anything. No one can tell you what will work.

 

All you can do is try and if it doesn't work out, just temper you have friends and family to help you through.

[Lucha]

You dont make the impression that you're doing this dor yourself. It seems everything you do is with the intention of getting closer to her again .There is no need to convince us you will be doing work for you - convince yourself.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Aeropro]

Touch crowd today! Thanks for the feedback guys. I think the topic dertailed a bit... mostly I was just wanting to see if anyone else ever ran into an ex unblocking them from social media so soon after a breakup and if it turned into any form of contact.

[Tanzi]

This thread isn't necessarily about whether or not I should block her or not as I know I should for my own healing. It is mostly with regards to why she unblocked me when she "doesn't care about me" and understanding that behavior. Since this sub-thread is GETTING BACK TOGETHER and not HEALING AFTER A BREAKUP/DIVORCE, I believe it is fitting.

 

Sometimes there really is no logical explanation as to why some people do certain things. Nine times out of ten it WON'T be for the ressons we are thinking or hoping they are. All you need to know is that if she wanted you back she would let you know in no uncertain terms.

 

Some people like the power they know they have over someone else and they get a skewed sense of satisfaction out of it.

 

You have to be more proactive in your healing and that means blocking her.

[Lonewing]

Block yourself and quit thinking about her.

[HeartGoesOn]

Recognize the difference between Facebook, and the real world.