Ex left me out blue

[chloe23xxx]

Hi sorry this,is long winded

I met a guy n we had this amazing connection and chemistry

He was married at time but had an affair with me

He would always end us coz of his wife then out the blue he would contact me n always start us up again n he kept doing that

Then in end he left his wife for me

We wer so happy amazing the sex was mind blowing

But he left me and said it was over coz i struggled with trust and he stopped being a cheat because he said he had found the one me

He left me i chased him loads after he said we are just friends we are nver getting back together

We got back together a while went by then he left me again out blue said same stuff like i wanna be on my own we are over for good the same stuff

I chased him he came back again

We moved in together was together for a whole year with no breaking up at all we did have bad argurments

Coz just before he left me a third time

He was very different very down depressed not well n worried about his health i dud all i can but he couldn't snap out of it

He left me out blue again

He is,saying i made him a different person that wr are never getting bk together he wants to be on his own n he is,happier now can di what he wants whenevr

Yet has said nearly all these things the other times he has left me

 

IM confused coz he will say all this yet will tell me he is not sleeping with no one that he left a ckub alone

That there was a girl stood right in front of him n he was not even talking to her

He will not answer e when i asked does he miss me or will he miss me

And he told me he don't love me like he did before when he left

He said he thought he did love me

Yet said he left coz he knew he was hurting me n didn't wanna do that

And that really is someone who don't love me lol confused

 

He always the first week or two hates me n says wr never getting bk together i always chase him n he always comes bk eventually

He is telling me that he don't want a relationship no more or even sex that he is having a break from all women

Same stuff as other times he had left

He said he is not changing his mind this time

 

Me n him are absolutely perfect together when wr do not ruck

I don't wanna lose him forever

Please help me

[missmarple]

Sorry but that's what you get for getting involved with a married man. His vows to his wife counted for nothing, obviously....same goes for whatever he's told you, too. Stop chasing him.

[Livingreal]

He is broken and you will be too if you continue in this vicious cycle.

[lavenderdove]

Chloe, you need to look at the fact that you have tried MANY times thru this to make this work and it just never works out. He was married when you met him, so obviously he is someone who is comfortable with lying or cheating because he did it with you, and probably is someone who can't stay faithful to anyone for long or be in a permanent long term relationship without wandering. So when he's with you he wants his freedom, then when he gets lonely he calls you again, then when he's been with you a while he starts to get restless and leaves again. So he is not capable of making a permanent commitment.

 

He also might have a lot of guilt about breaking up his marriage and family, and just feel tarnished by that and want a fresh start with someone else where there isn't all this bad history and baggage. It really sounds like he's been trying to fully end it for a long time, but just comes back when lonely but only for a while until he decides another time it won't work. Perhaps he is sexually attracted to you and likes the sex, but feels your personalities don't mesh well so that is not enough to make it work permanently.

 

He will most likely do this until he meets some other woman he feels is better suited to him. But you need to focus on the fact that he has had many many opportunities to make a stable life with you and it just doesn't work out. So sooner or later this will end permanently when he finds someone else. So i think you need to focus on healing and letting go, and next time choose a man who is not married and is really available and hence not a liar and a cheater. It is really hard to build a solid foundation on a relationship that started out in lying and cheating and betrayal with a married man. Very few relationships that started as affairs actually end up in a successful permanent relationhips/marriage.

[lavenderdove]

btw, many men will take sex from you if you keep offering yourself to them on a platter. But all they are taking is the sex. If you have to do all the 'chasing' and he doesn't willingly come to you on his own, then that means he'll just use you for sex but isn't interested in a real long term relationship with you or he would be with you on his own.

 

So stop chasing and see what he does. If you don't hear from him and he stops coming around when you stop chasing him, then that tell you he really doesn't want you but was willing to use you for sex if you offered yourself to him on a platter and made it easy for him to take.