Boyfriend is starting to take me for granted

[Elsewhere]

How to nip it in a bud???

 

Lately he's been going thru some hard times so I've been forgiving his bad mood and supporting him. But it's kind of becoming a pattern and even during special occasions (like my graduation) it's still all about him and on my special day I was dancing around his attitude.

 

How to show him that this is not ok?

[Ms Darcy]

I think the assumption here is that he's taking you for granted.

 

Talk more about how he made your special occasion about him? What's been going on with him?

[HeartGoesOn]

Let him know this is not acceptable behaviour, and you'd like him to find a solution in order to sustain your relationship. If that fails to spark a reaction, you have your answer.

 

Keep in mind, that we teach people how to treat us.

[ParisPaulette]

You stop catering to his bad moods and you start showing him it's not acceptable by refusing to stick around if he's in a bad mood. I'm not sure what you mean by going through some hard times, but being soft and sympathetic and letting him yell at your or mistreat you is not the way you get someone out of a bad mood. In fact, it just makes things worse, because now they feel guilty and sometimes get a taste for using you as their personal whipping post. You tell him he needs to go get help/get a job/confront so-and-so or handle whatever it is that's giving him the hard time. And to stop using you as a whipping post to take his anger and frustrations out on. And then if he refuses or does so, you get up and you leave the room, you leave the house, you go and start doing things with other friends and family. And you don't invite him along.

 

And if he won't change anything and would prefer to use "tough times" as an excuse then you need to stop and look at what's really going on. We all go through tough times, but we don't generally use them as an excuse to take it out on our SO. I don't think he's really taking you for granted though, what I get is he becomes a bit emotionally abusive and you need to nip that in the bud FAST. Or break up if he won't handle it.

 

And I think there's emotional abuse, because of the comment you made about having to dance around his attitude. Life is too short to have someone in it crapping all over times when you should be happy. And most adults who are emotionally developed understand that even if they are going through a hard time it's just not acceptable to rain all over their loved ones parade or make someone else's special days or accomplishments all about their bad moods.

[catfeeder]

How to show him that this is not ok?

 

I agree with Ms Darcy that your post is vague, and I think we could be more helpful if we knew more.

 

How old are you both, and how long have you been dating? How often do you see one another? What is he doing that you don't like, or not doing that you want from him?