best of both worlds

[oneman]

Hello people,

I've just an in depth discussion with an old friend whom I haven't seen in years. He tells me that Yes! you can have your cake and eat it as well. In other words, you can have the best of the both worlds all the time. I've always believed that No, you can't have your cake and expect to eat it as well. I also believe that all good things come to an end without being negative about it. We can be married for 60 years and still be happy but it ends when we die. We can have a dream job in a fantastic location, only to have the global economy change and the company dismiss 50% of the work force...and life goes on....

I've always believed that good times follow bad times follow good times for all of us. There are good seasons and bad seasons, several good years followed by several bad and uncertain years. Does anyone else share this view? Are we destined to bake our cake and then just look at it? or can we actually eat it as well and then just bake another one? I guess it's all about personal opinion and how we look at life and how we lead our lives and what we make of it.

[journeynow]

What was the context of your discussion with your friend? I suppose it could be a matter of interpretation. Maybe your friend is thinking that you can make a cake, eat it, make a new cake, eat it, and never run out of cake so never really miss out on both having cake and eating cake.... In any event, things change and there can be consequences. You can forever be eating cake and having cake, but you may end up overweight and diabetic.

[mhowe]

While I believe that the cycle of boom/bust can manifest itself --- there are times when you are so "in the zone" that your life feels magical.

 

And those times are to be savored, for they will not last forever.

 

So, in balance, are the times when getting up and putting one foot in front of the other feels like a Herculean task.

[luminousone]

In terms of happiness and life satisfaction- certainly challenges and bad times come our way. Sometimes we hate them while in the moment but when we successfully get through it then we often feel a sense of accomplishment.

 

Happiness or satisfaction also comes when we actively take steps to prevent or mitigate those challenging circumstances. For example if you have a great job then you plan ahead for that just-in-case scenario. You put away emergency money, you don't run up a lot of debt while counting on your job- you have a plan B in place just in case.

 

Sometimes - despite your plans- disasters do happen. And you pick yourself up and do your best to get through it, and you move forward in life.

 

I think the most important thing is what is going on in our head/hearts. An attitude of gratitude is essentially important because what you focus on is what you tend to experience. So, when in the midst of turmoil in your life, if you focus more on the things going right in your life then that is what comes to the forefront.

 

Sometimes when in the midst of the bad things, it is terribly difficult to see anything to be grateful for. But if you actively work at being grateful, you can always find good in your life.

 

As far as being married a long time- my parents just had their 64th anniversary- they are in their 90s- and one or the other will likely die this year. They understand that and they know they are at the end of their lives. Losing their spouse will be tough and heartbreaking. But at this age they completely understand the cycle of life. And when one loses the other spouse, it will not diminish the cherished memories and the love they have for each other. And who knows- maybe it doesn't all end at death- just perhaps on to a different realm!

 

Happiness is what you make of life and the challenges that come at you.

[SpottiOtti]

Sometimes when I'm feeling sad, I tell myself that one can only really appreciate happiness when they've known sadness as well.