brokenlove Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 After about a month NC, he called me. I know he's been thinking about me since. 2 weeks later, he called again. I enjoy his calls but I'm still working on moving on. At this point I don't initiate any contact and don't talk about topics any heavier than he brings up. I'm filling up my time with activities, meeting new friends, and even talking to a few guys on dating sites and I'm open to going on a date if any of them ask me. I'm also treating myself like the goddess I deserve to be treated like (I exercise, meditate, gonna get a hair cut, my teeth cleaned and whitened, do my nails, etc.). I'm starting to feel good and happy, and I know he senses it and feels it every time we talk. Now I'm just wondering how long until he wants to hang out, hopefully I've got my hair cut and teeth whitened first! Link to comment
mhowe Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 You are posting in the "getting back together" forum and making superficial changes so I don't think you have moved on all that much! He has called 2x...and if he is the one that dumped you...I would say he is testing the waters to see if a fwb is possible. One month is still "missing" the other person...not enough time for any meaningful changes with regard to the reasons for the break up. You cannot "hang out" your way back into a relationship and if there was any meaningful relationship prior...then you are too early out of it to have a platonic friendship. Link to comment
brokenlove Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 You are posting in the "getting back together" forum and making superficial changes so I don't think you have moved on all that much! He has called 2x...and if he is the one that dumped you...I would say he is testing the waters to see if a fwb is possible. One month is still "missing" the other person...not enough time for any meaningful changes with regard to the reasons for the break up. You cannot "hang out" your way back into a relationship and if there was any meaningful relationship prior...then you are too early out of it to have a platonic friendship. I'm in the process of moving on, it's been 2 months now. He doesn't do FWB. And ime, that's how it starts. I've never not had an ex come back but I'm at the point where if he doesn't I'll be just fine. Yes, I still miss him, but I'm sure I always will to some degree. We didn't have a rocky or toxic relationship and both treated each other very well. Link to comment
brokenlove Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 He didn't really seem sure, said he was confused about his feelings and stuff, but the day before was telling me how in love with me he is. So I'm not really sure, he said he needed a few months to think but to move on because he doesn't know what will happen and it isn't fair to have me waiting for a possible no. Which I agreed. So while I'm hopeful he's finding clarity in my favor, I know the reality is that he may choose to move on. So I just live my life the way that makes me happy without any expectations from him. Link to comment
mhowe Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 I am confused as to what advice you may be looking for...if all of your ex's have come sniffing around before and you are OK with whether he comes back or not. Link to comment
brokenlove Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 Oh I'm not really looking for advice. I guess maybe these aren't boards to just air our thoughts? =/ I'm pretty new here. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 How can you be happy with keeping contact with him AND wanting to get out n date again? You're only gonna mess yourself up more, acting like this. IF you are not over him, you're not going to be able to give yourself mentally or emotionally in s healthy manner to anyone else at this time. I feel you need MORE time, on your own and NOT continuing to interact with him. Isn't it time to face the facts? Link to comment
brokenlove Posted August 25, 2014 Author Share Posted August 25, 2014 How can you be happy with keeping contact with him AND wanting to get out n date again? I'm happy not to lose a good friend. We've only ever spoken on friend terms since the breakup, so it's very likely he doesn't want to resume a relationship. I've accepted that and know that if he doesn't WANT a relationship with me, then it's best for both of us that we are not in a relationship. I have just reached a point, 2 months later, where I feel OK dating if I meet a great guy. I tend to begin relationships as friendships, so things don't progress too quickly and they're based on lots of communication, shared interests/goals, etc. I personally think I'm in a pretty good place right now, but I will take your words to heart and ponder them while I meditate tonight. Get in touch with my inner self and see if I'm really OK or just going through a weird stage in the grief process where I think I'm better off than I actually am. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 I'm starting to feel good and happy, and I know he senses it and feels it every time we talk. Now I'm just wondering how long until he wants to hang out, hopefully I've got my hair cut and teeth whitened first! ^ The above statement doesn't sound as if you're prepared to accept it, in the case of he doesn't want to resume a relationship. Either way, you're better off going complete "NC," rather than use the "friends" tactic in an attempt to win him back. You're basically selling yourself short. If he wants to be with you, he'll make that very clear to you. Link to comment
brokenlove Posted August 25, 2014 Author Share Posted August 25, 2014 I'm not using it as a tactic, I'm not manipulative. We were friends before and agreed on staying friends afterwards. Link to comment
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