Frustration and overwhelming loneliness

[biscuit90]

I posted a while back ago about a situation I had involving just a state of being I was in of frustration, and well I took the advice I received and I was doing great for a while. In fact I felt alive again compared to how I felt many months ago. I came out and told my friends about all these pent feelings I had to the point where I felt like I literally mattered to nobody, I lost a few friends because of they couldn't really I guess handle what I had to say. But, I also became much closer with the other ones in fact my one friend started hanging out with me more because of it. I also moved out of my parents house and moved in with my "friend". I guess you never truly know someone unless you live with them?

 

I'll summarize of course, theres four of us that lived together, one moved away to texas. The other one keeps to himself most of the time and when he does hang around hes pretty cool to talk to I've had some really nice conversations with him. But now the other roommate, I share a room with him he was my friend prior but moving in I see the type of...animal he is. At first, nothing bugged me but it gradually gets worse and worse I've felt like I've been living with a 10 year old boy who I always have to look after, hes a year younger then me so 23. I get literally no sleep anymore, because he always stays out late and comes back at 3am screaming "JOHN LIKES THE JOHN'S SO GAY! HEY JOHN WANNA SUCK MY ." I'm not even gay, he say things like this every day. I always have to work early in the morning as well, I have to be up every day at 6am and he comes in drunk screaming then I can't sleep I don't think I've even gotten more then 2 hours of sleep since I moved out. I don't think I've had a day where he hasn't said anything like that. He also stole a girl that I wanted who he said was ugly but she took a random interest in him and then took his virginity also stopped talking to him afterwards. Karma I guess but he brings it up constantly, the one day he said "You're just mad I got with the girl you wanted." I left at that point because I was going to strangle him, he followed me and started yelling "Hey john I'm going to cash my check for $2,000, bet you're never going to see that much money in your life."

I left for the rest of the day and he kept calling me asking me where I was.

 

That was just one day, I've lived here for maybe about two months now. I listen to his overly inflated ego daily and how hes gods gift to women and how I'm ugly? I have to smell him every day because he doesn't shower for weeks and then listen to him brag about how he just got some chicks number. I deal with him getting drunk on a daily basis and leaving his trash all over the place, we have bugs now because of him. He met some of my friends and now hangs out with them saying hes better friends with them now then I am, since I don't hangout with them anymore because hes there I literally do whatever I can to avoid him.

 

But the strikes to myself esteem are building up, I tried a dating website again hoping that maybe I'll just meet someone because throughout the many months I've just been actively seeking a relationship and no one ever says anything. And then it traces back to the moment how he said that I'm ugly then makes me wonder: Am I not good enough? I don't understand this either why do women go after him? He smells horrible, he leaves the room and the stench still lingers, he acts like hes a gift to the world in front of women, hes obnoxious but women like that? I've always been the more reserved type of person, but at the same time witty and I'd go as far to say smart. I just don't get it anymore and I feel like my sanity is going because most of my friends like him but I don't know why? Only one of them hates him but she only comes here when hes not here but I can't always go out with her because shes a busy person too.

 

I don't know, I've tried talking to him about these little things too but it literally goes in one ear and out the other, hes literally a 23 year old child.

I feel like even if I did manage to get a girlfriend or meet someone new that he'd either A: take her away too or B: he'd scare her off.

 

I guess its kind of stupid complaining about this on here when theres more serious problems out there...But I've always gotten the best advice from here.

And I'm just stuck now...

[courtneyross52]

WOW that is quite the situation. Coming from a girl I can tell you that all of the qualities that he posses are not at all attractive. I have a feeling he acts differently around women than he does around you so that may be why he can "get a girl". I promise you if they knew he acted/treated you that way he would not get half the girls he gets. As for the self esteem, I think dating websites could do wonders. You can "meet" new people, strike up a conversation and possibly get a few compliments along the way! But please don't compare yourself to him. He is the type of guy who may never get married because, lets be honest, no one likes a slob who doesn't have good personal hygiene. I know you will find a girl that is meant to be with you and share your hatred for your friend. Keep your head up high, confidence and self-esteem are attractive just remember that. Always stay positive

[biscuit90]

The thing is some of the girls see this, sure he doesn't sit there saying "john likes the " in front of them but his immaturity is apparent to some of them yet they continue with it. And thats ALL he ever talks about too is women, I love women quite a lot but I am fully capable of talking about something besides just women. It's just getting really hard to put up with now I suppose part of it is jealousy because as I said in my original post you know he gets these women and I still get turned down for whatever reason.

 

I try to keep my head up and I do cheerish the moments when my one friend comes over because me and her just ramble about him consider she just...hates him. He was a nice guy before though, it was ever since he lost his virginity a month ago he changed, drastically. I just miss some of my friends too but I can't risk going to see them because he'll surly follow.

 

I just don't know.

I'm hanging in there the best I can.

[catfeeder]

How long is your lease with these people?

 

If you never signed a lease, I'd move myself out of there.